01 February 2015

Leyton Orient 1 Scunthorpe United 4, 31/1/15

A game which... demonstrated that something is rotten in the state of Orient. Yes, prepare yourself for a load of Hamlet references because our club is currently gripped by a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions. Manager meltdowns, subterfuge, whistleblowing, impropriety... we've got it all.

And somewhere in the middle of all that a football match broke out. Or at least it did for the 11 surprised Scunthorpe players who found themselves able to run around the pitch freely and score at will. Orient, meanwhile, were "a team without guts, without heart, without courage" according to Fabio Liverani. And while his assessment was correct, you wouldn't blame the players for responding "Yeah, and without any fucking tactics either, gaffer."

Jump off your seat moment... The moment Gianvito Plasmati's brain sent an electrical signal to his foot instructing it to shoot from 50 yards out. Who knows, the 6ft 6in Italian may have an impressive knowledge of Federico Fellini films, be able to tell his Sangiovese from his Sagrantino, or be a gentle and generous lover, but a footballer he ain't. Need I bother telling you his 50-yard shot bobbled apologetically towards the corner flag? Need I bother pointing out that that is a fitting metaphor for Orient's entire season?

Darius Henderson
Give that man a medal... I'm tempted to give a medal to PA Phillip Othen for actually having the audacity to announce an Orient man of the match. But let's be extremely generous and say that when Darius Henderson came on for the second half he at least put himself about a bit, albeit in the manner of a malfunctioning bulldozer that by the law of averages manages to go in the right direction once in every 27 minutes.

Taxi for... The whole team, according to Fabio Liverani, who claimed he needs 11 new players. But let me for the sake of making a stupid analogy to brain surgery single out Bradley Pritchard. Now, the former Charlton man works hard, for sure – but if I decided to try my hand at brain surgery tomorrow and put a real shift in, I doubt anyone would be congratulating me on the ensuing bloodbath. Or to put it another way: Pritch is just too lightweight and too limited for League One. And what the hell was Liverani doing playing him right midfield when we had a Premier League winger on the bench anyway?

"Fuck the technical shit..." Should we sympathise with Fabio Liverani for being given the poisoned chalice of Leyton Orient management? Or should we suggest that despite the accuracy of his post-match comments he might have better saved them for the dressing room if he wanted to retain even a shred of hope of motivating and gelling the team? Probably both, but for the moment let me point out that from my West Stand vantage point just behind the home dug out it is 100 per cent clear that the players do not understand a word of what Liverani is instructing them to do. Indeed, they tend to receive the information wearing the sort of bewildered, terrified expressions usually seen on the faces of girls being chatted up by Jimmy Smith.

Meanwhile on YouTube... "We scratched the bottom," said Fabio Liverani on Saturday. Well, on Sunday we took to it with an industrial chainsaw with the release of this video of lip-synching Italians, which is quite possibly the low point of the club in its entire 134-year history. Watch it and weep that it has come to this...

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...