Showing posts with label Jamie Ness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jamie Ness. Show all posts

19 April 2014

Crawley Town 2 Leyton Orient 1, 18/4/14

A game in which... it was proved that in millions of years' time, as the dying embers of the sun throw their last feint light on our doomed planet, an Orient team of the future will still be losing to Crawley. Yep, it's played four, lost four against this glorified Conference side and, to be honest, Orient aren't likely to beat anyone in this sort of form. Except Gillingham, obviously.

Let's keep things in perspective: we're in the play-offs (yay!) and it's certain that there Orient will not put in the sort of tired, lacklustre performance they did at the Checktrade.com stadium. But one win in seven is a worrying statistic and by the time 10 May comes around this marvellous group of players will need to find some extra reserves of energy to try to get us over the final hurdle.

Moment of magic... Shaun Batt's brilliant, heavily-disguised dummy in the dying seconds which, to anyone who's watched more than seven seconds of football in their entire life, might have looked like a jaw-droppingly embarrassing air kick but in fact was a ploy that allowed the ball to run through to an unmarked David Mooney. Probably.

Moment of madness... Crawley's second goal, in which Adam Drury was afforded so much space and time in the Orient penalty area it's a wonder he didn't pop to the local shops and back to get a few things in for the Bank Holiday weekend while he was waiting for the ball to plop on to his head.

Top gun... Selecting a man of the match is a tough one, as this was a performance of collective mediocrity. Let's give it to Jamie Ness, then, purely on the basis that in only being on the pitch for a few minutes, he had less opportunity to give the ball away than the rest of the team. Still managed it a couple of times though, to be fair.

Mathieu Baudry
Little donkey... Oh Mathieu Baudry. Whereas usually the Frenchman dismisses the advances of League One strikers with nothing more than a slight drop of the shoulder and an inquisitively-raised eyebrow, today his performance stunk like a rotting block of Camembert. One pass in particular - straight to an onrushing Crawley attacker (don't know which, so let's pretend it was Gary Alexander) - was the poorest example of French decision-making since Napoleon Bonaparte announced "I reckon we can take Waterloo" in 1815.

In the dug out... "We still pushed them all the way," said Russell Slade after the game which, even if true, is a somewhat underwhelming ambition for a team challenging for promotion playing against mid-table strugglers. Still, the big man is toying with his tactics, resting players and presumably has his mind on the play-offs, so we shouldn't be too hard on him. Though it has to be said: we're not going to get very far if our only tactic whenever Chris Dagnall is playing is to boot the ball over the top and watch him scuttle after it like a minor-league Toxteth drug dealer on the run from the bizzies.

View from the opposition... "Kyle McFadzean is my John Terry," said Crawley boss John Gregory after the game, presumably not implying that his central defender is a racist adulterer. But he did go on to say that playing Orient would be "incredibly difficult", suggesting his scouts may well have attended the Gillingham game, but probably not Bradford.

Not Dean Cox
Tweet of the week... "Not everyday I get stopped in south woodford and asked if I want some weed" tweeted  Dean Cox this week, presumably furious he couldn't find the coke, pills and ketamine he was actually after. I jest, of course, if you happen to be reading this and you're a lawyer. It was actually growth hormones he wanted.

12 January 2014

GUEST POST! Leyton Orient 4 Carlisle United 0, 11/1/14

I followed this match via Twitter from a graffiti-strewn techno club in a subterranean bunker under Berlin. Luckily Andy Brown - blogger extraordinaire from WAGU and The Two Unfortunates - was actually at Brisbane Road and has stepped in with his own version of the day's events...

Carlisle's defending
A game in which...Orient were so ridiculously dominant in their first home fixture of the year that the game should have been declared a TKO after 66 minutes when Kevin Lisbie lashed the Os' third in off the post. 

Poor Carlisle looked like Audley Harrison on the ropes and must be sick of the sight of Orient after two 4-1 maulings last season and a 5-1 stuffing on the opening day, as Orient came at them again and again and could have scored more.

Orient's trio of new loans looked quick and sharp looked lethal: Ness lashing in a lovely 25-yard volley off the post, Loza looking lively again and Shaq Coulthirst refusing to give up and taking the ball around Carlisle keeper Fleming in injury time. 

Moment of magic... Moses Odubajo's "Cruyff turn"  in the second half to take himself away from three players and get a cross in towards Loza. Call it cheeky, call it flamboyant, it had no place in a League One football match and was made all the sweeter by the look on Carlisle Matty Robson's face as he attempted to chase and kick Orient's number 11 into the West Stand... and promptly missed that as well. 

Moment of madness...Sky’s continuous Orient amnesia on Goals Now with the Os seemingly written out of the season like Stalinist purges. After showing Brentford and Wolves’ goals, they conclude with “So that wraps up the top of League One.” Er, no it doesn’t. 

Scott Cuthbert
Top gun... Scott Cuthbert, proving that Tuesday's slightly below par performance was a blip as he defended stoically and marauded up and down the right flank like a terrier with a pork chop, as well as scoring a bullet header from a Cox corner to put the Os 1-0 up. Plaudits also go to Moses Odubajo and Dean Cox, both of whom looked like Usain Bolt compared to the Carlisle full backs, and Kevin Lisbie who looked formidable holding the ball up and creating chances.

Little donkey(s)... The entire Carlisle team have now conceded 17 in their last four matches against Orient. They say don't get mad, get even. Carlisle are doing neither. Matty Robson, for one, was run ragged and frankly embarrassed for 90 minutes by Moses Obubajo and is probably considering doing something else on Saturdays in future. 

In the dug out... Russell Slade is displaying Yoda-like wisdom this season. Bartley started well and looked
Russell Slade
good again until injured and all the players that started outclassed their opposite numbers in a scintillating display of attacking prowess. By the time the young loanees came on it was almost cruel, with Loza and Coulthirst running a bedraggled Carlisle ragged before bagging a fourth in the 95th minute.
 
View from the opposition... "Orient deserve all the praise they get. Solid platform combined with plenty of thrust. Hope they keep it up" wrote Carlisle fan John McGee in a fair, honest and generous view of the Os' performance. Jake, on the other hand, who likes to make friends and influence people, tweeted "Can't wait till West Ham get the Olympic stadium and Orient go bust". Very good, Jake. Are you bitter by any chance?

Tweet of the week.... Three crackers this week: Firstly Huw Davies tweeted this Vine of Relegation Roger’s defending against Man City for West Ham. Think Bobby Moore v Pele, only without the tackle bit. Second up, Os former promotion-winning captain John Mackie claiming that it's not pants or socks, but his occasional column in the Os' programme that's responsible for Orient winning matches. Nice idea, John, but what about away games? And lastly Dean Cox gets a mention for his #askcoxy interview, in which he admitted that he doesn't like the Tiny Cox chant, but knows he's doing something right when the fans sing it. Naturally he heard it a lot today!
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