Leyton Orient 0 Doncaster Rovers 1, 14/4/15

A game in which... Orient decided to put the definition of insanity to the test in the second half by repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. That involved repeatedly launching the ball long towards the opposition penalty area and expecting for something other than Rovers' gargantuan defender Rob Jones to head the ball away to safety.

It was truly bewildering to watch – especially given that in the first half the Os had knocked the ball about on the floor a bit and fashioned three big chances. Yeah, we missed all of them (no surprise there) and then conceded from a set piece (no surprise there) but thanks to results elsewhere somehow we're still not technically relegated (SURPRISE!).

Jump off your seat moment... The first-half moment when Darius Henderson performed the footballing equivalent of finding a needle in a haystack and somehow directed a point-blank strike straight at the Doncaster keeper when the whole goal was gaping at him. Still, let's be thankful for small mercies – at least he didn't pointlessly throw himself to the ground then kick the ball away to receive a yellow card. (He waited until the second half to do that.)

Give that man a medal... Now, Marvin Bartley has come in for some criticism in the past, mostly from a vocal minority consisting of everyone who's ever seen him play. But God knows the midfielder has improved of late and tonight – in the first half at least – was a battling presence and the source of some Orient's best attacking play. He also claimed the players were "disheartened" after the game, when perhaps we may have expected them to be "gutted", "mortified" or "livid". Still, at least they weren't just "a bit miffed".

Taxi for... He's only a youngster and can't be expected to single-handedly save Orient from relegation, but it wasn't Ryan Hedges's best night. And really there shouldn't be any excuse for the lack of ball control we saw tonight. I mean, it's not as if the manager is yelling incoherently towards him for the entire game, apparently trying to get him to move millimetres to the left or right. Oh, hang on...

"Fuck the technical shit"... which of course brings me to Fabio Liverani, who some might say displayed gung-ho bravado by throwing on four strikers at the death, while others might say, "But hey, if you take off both your wingers then who's left to pass the ball to them properly?" Yes, I'm still yet to see much evidence that the Italian has any idea what he's doing and he continues to spend each game micro-managing the marking at set pieces (hey, that went well!) rather than anything more visionary. Still, he said afterwards the lads are doing well in training, so it's not all bad news.

Meanwhile on Twitter... You think we've got it bad? Well, you'd be right. But not as bad as some Cardiff fans consider they've got it under Russell Slade. Here's one of the more amusing images accompanying the popular #SladeOut hashtag, as unearthed by Adam Meagher.

Leyton Orient 0 Doncaster Rovers 2, 29/9/12

A game in which... Orient looked about as comfortable as John Terry at an Afro-Caribbean poetry night. Yes, the away team were physical and niggly but fair play to them - they took their chances and restricted Orient to vague attempts at defying the laws of physics by expecting Kevin Lisbie to out-jump their gargantuan centre backs.

And while one loss in the last five isn't a major cause for alarm, it's certainly true Orient didn't have any answers to Doncaster's approach. Unless you count bringing on Marc Laird, and if that's the answer then the question must be held under lock and key at Fort Knox in case anyone ever tries to ask it again.

Moment of magic... The moment when Lee Cook - whose meticulous preparation for the game had presumably involved repeatedly running full pelt into an 8ft brick wall - decided to change tack. His novel approach involved sitting on the floor and pirouetting with the ball sandwiched between his feet as if he was involved in some sort of student ice-breaking game in Freshers' Week. Next up: Ryan Brunt tries to bamboozle the Walsall defence by wearing a traffic cone on his head and initiating a round of Spin The Bottle.  

Moment of madness... David Cotterill's ridiculous attempt to try to get Dean Cox sent off at the end of the game, falling to the floor clutching his face like an attention-seeking teenage schoolgirl upset that her eight-year-old sister had just upstaged her at a talent show.

Knight in shining armour.... It was hard for any Orient player to shine when standing within 300 yards of Dean Saunders' suit, but Nathan Clarke didn't have a bad game and Kevin Lisbie did about as much as could be expected of someone being repeatedly attacked by a vicious herd of giraffes.

Pantomime horse... Leyton Orient and referee Nigel Miller have history, for it was the Durham-born official who was in charge for the club's notorious 1-1 draw with Leeds in 2007. Miller's performance that day was so inept that manager Martin Ling nearly blew a gasket. ("I was so furious that I looked at him a little bit disapprovingly at the end of the game," he said at the time.) Today the referee wasn't much better and hindered Orient's cause with a series of decisions that caused so much head-scratching it was like a plague of lice had descended upon Brisbane Road.

In the dug out... "We weren't bright," said Russell Slade after the game, though if you field a team containing Jimmy Smith you're hardly likely to secure a discounted group membership to Mensa. Fair play to the manager, in recent weeks he has hit upon a Plan A ("Try and get a throw in so Clarkey can launch it into the mixer") but Plan B ("Bring on Odubajo, then try and get a throw in so Clarkey can launch it into the mixer") probably needs a bit of work.

Word from the opposition... "We played very well today, one of our best performances of the season," says Donny fan Kieran O'Malley. "Orient had a poor first half but a slightly better second half, with a small spell of chances - but didn't make anything of them. Not great really, though I thought the referee was a bit dodgy at times."

Meanwhile on Twitter... Never let it be said that Orient players aren’t multi-talented - today, for example, David Mooney was spotted reading the match programme and breathing at the same time. But few could match the skills of Lee Cook who can run for 60 minutes of a game and put away culinary delights like the one he tweeted here. “I no your jealous! :)” he wrote before tucking into his meal. Or throwing up over it – it’s hard to tell the difference.

Statto corner... The last time the average height of an Orient team exceeded that of their opponents was in April 1955 when Pat Welton and Les Blizzard came up with the cunning wheeze of nailing three inches of MDF to the bottom of their boots in a bid to gain advantage over Newport County.

Why five-goal defeats are good for Orient. Really...

(September 2012 update: I actually wrote this just after we'd been turned over 5-0 by Brighton on New Year's Day 2011. Orient then went on a record-breaking 17-game unbeaten run which, contrary to everything else on this blog, means I was actually correct. Five-goal defeats are good for Orient, so the loss at Goodison Park should be seen as a blessing in disguise. Right?)

Admittedly a 5-0 loss on 1 January isn't the best portent for the next year of football at Leyton Orient. But a look back over the last decade reveals that the Os have been turned over by a five-goal margin on four other occasions, and each time bounced back determinedly.

In other words, this could be a blessing in disguise. And while it's quite difficult to type while clutching a huge fistful of straws, I've amassed some evidence...

Leyton Orient 0 Swansea 5
6 October 2007

What happened? Incredible as it may sound now, Orient went into their 10th game of the 2007/08 season at the summit of League One. Fans were dreaming of promotion to the Championship and mouthwatering trips to the likes of Scunthorpe, Plymouth and Colchester. Unfortunately Swansea came to Brisbane Road and proved that Orient's early season form was just a Zepplin-sized blip, caused mostly by Martin Ling temporarily playing Sean Thornton in his correct position. Psychiatrist-bothering goalkeeper Stuart Nelson throwing four of the five goals into his own net probably didn't help.
But every cloud has a silver lining... In their next league game Orient bounced back with one of their most heroic performances of the decade, holding Leeds to a 1-1 draw at Elland Road despite having only 10 men for 60 minutes of the game and being on the wrong end of a litany of refereeing howlers.

Bournemouth 5 Leyton Orient 0
10 February 2007

What happened? In the 2006/07 season - with Orient back in the third tier - manager Martin Ling employed a quite visionary strategy known as, 'Just give the ball to Locky and hope for the best.' Unfortunately Bournemouth's Darren Anderton was familiar with such a ploy, having once played under the same system for England ('Give it to Gazza, hope for the best'). He scored a hatrick.
But every cloud has a silver lining... Although Orient lost their next league game 4-1 to Brighton, the combined shock of the two defeats spurred the team into a seven-match unbeaten run that allowed them to escape relegation by the skin of their teeth.

Doncaster Rovers 5 Leyton Orient 0
10 January 2004

What happened? Having been officially annointed as Orient manager in December 2004, Martin Ling was learning the ropes the hard way (ie trying to get results from a team containing Tom Newey, David Hunt and Billy Jones). Still, no one except every single Orient fan could have expected the team to go down so miserably to league leaders Doncaster.
But every cloud has a silver lining... A shell-shocked Orient went on to win their next two league games and the experience was part of the learning curve that led Martin Ling to take the team up two seasons later.

Carlisle United 6 Leyton Orient 1
12 January 2002

What happened? Back in the dark days of the early millennium, Orient's away form was like a unicorn. Non-existent. Still, the 100 or so dedicated masochists who made the long, mid-winter trip to Carlisle probably hoped that Orient wouldn't be 3-0 down in the first 18 minutes, or indeed 5-0 down at half-time. Still, if there was ever a manager to pull off a miraculous second-half recovery, it sure as hell wasn't Paul Brush...
But every cloud has a silver lining... Two weeks later Orient travelled to Goodison Park to play Everton in the fourth round of the FA Cup and put in a gutsy and convincing display against a Premier League team. They still lost 4-1, mind.