The top five Leyton Orient beards

In honour of World Beard Day - and in lieu of Orient actually playing a match on a Saturday afternoon - here's my line up of five players who brought formidable facial fuzz to Brisbane Road...

5. Geoff Pike 

The man: Ex-West Ham midfielder whose bristling energy helped Orient achieve virtually nothing in his one full season in 1990/91. 

The beard: A closely-cropped and somewhat apologetic effort that gives Pike the air of a well-meaning geography teacher who remains relentlessly breezy despite the savage bullying he experiences at the hands of his 11-year-old pupils on a daily basis. 

4. Kevin Godfrey

The man: Youth team graduate whose dazzling wing play helped Orient plummet from Division Two to Division Four during his 11 seasons at the club from 1977 to 1988.  

The beard: This isn't a beard, it's a cry for help - a wispy and mournful effort that screams "If only I'd kept up those disco-dancing lessons when I was 12 I could have been an extra in Saturday Night Fever instead of playing for this shit football club."

3. Romain Vincelot

The man: Archetypal socks-round-the-ankles midfielder currently helping Orient actually be good. 

The beard: This is a beard constructed entirely from 100 per cent pure Gallic testosterone - a stirring, stubbly statement of intent that suggests to opposition players that not only will Romain vanquish them on the playing field, he'll also make love to their wives and kill their pet dogs. 

2. Tony Grealish

The man: Potty-mouthed Republic of Ireland international and cog in the midfield that took Orient to the 1978 FA Cup semi-final.   

The beard: Grealish's beard is that of an intrepid Danish explorer lost in the Arctic who, despite having to eat his own arm to stay alive, nonetheless maintains an intensive facial grooming routine. Either that or an immaculately-coiffured cat has fallen asleep on that enormous jutting chin. 

1. Barrie Fairbrother

The man: Classy midfielder and scorer of Orient's winning goal in the famous victory over Chelsea in the fifth round of the 1972 FA Cup.   

The beard: This is not just a beard, this is a live audition for the role of "randy vicar" in the infamous 1970s porn flick Deep Throat; a facial fuzz that bristled with raw sexuality and quite possibly slipped off to a local strip joint whenever Fairbrother was sleeping. 

The best Leyton Orient moustaches

Footballers, as we know only too well, struggle to fill the time between training and matches. So it's heartening to know that instead of gambling or sleeping with their wives' sisters, many Orient players are occupying themselves by growing moustaches in aid of  raising funds and awareness of men's health. You can sign up and register your support for Orient here.

Good on them, then - but they've got a long way to go to beat some of these Orient beauties from days gone by...

Gary Bellamy (1992-96)

Steve Okai (1991-94)

Paul Ward (1988-89)

Paul Shinners (1985-89)












Frank Clark (manager 1983-91)

John Hawley (1982 - loan)













Peter Kitchen (1977-79 / 1982-84)

Joe Mayo (1977-81)

Tony Grealish (1974-79)

David Payne (1973-78)

Steve Bowtell (1968-73)

"Then we all got hammered... " - Tony Grealish on Orient v Arsenal, FA Cup semi-final 1978

A few years ago I had the pleasure of speaking to Tony Grealish about his time at Orient. The London-born Irish international made 195 appearances for Orient between 1974-79 and was a vital component in the team that reached the FA Cup semi-final against Arsenal in 1978.

In advance of the forthcoming FA Cup tie against Arsenal, here's what Tony had to say about that semi-final of 33 years ago, a game Orient eventually lost 3-0, thanks to two deflected goals by Malcolm McDonald and another by Graham Rix.

　

“I remember watching the draw for the semi-finals. Bloody hell, we were the bottom of the barrel so it didn’t matter who we played. But Arsenal, that was a humdinger.

"In the week leading up to the game, I just couldn’t wait to get out there. I couldn’t sleep. Everyone wanted to take a picture of us. We’d go to training and there’d be six or seven television crews there. It was massive. Even when I went for a game of golf people would be taking photos. Good thing was you’d often get a free Indian out of it or something. Peter Kitchen, in particular, was always scrounging something out of everyone. Typical northerner.

"Unfortunately it had affected our league form. In the bread-and-butter games, the ones that put bums on seats, we weren’t performing. You’re not supposed to be distracted as a professional player, but for some reason we couldn’t reproduce the performances from the FA Cup in the league. You go from playing in front of 40,000 people to going to Rotherham or something with people eating fish and chips in your face. It’s a bit of a comedown.

"To be honest, I didn’t think we could beat Arsenal in the semi-final. We’d ridden our luck to get that far and at times you’d think, maybe we do have a chance. But then realistically you think there’s no way on God’s Earth. If you looked at the players in the Arsenal team, well, you just had to hope it wouldn’t be an embarrassment. I know this sounds terrible now, but I thought if we could get through the game, it would be a bloody miracle. But then I just thought, who gives a shit? Let’s go out and have a blast and see what happens.

"I wasn’t too nervous before the match itself. I was excited and just wanted to get out there – my adrenalin was pumping. Jimmy Bloomfield [Orient’s manager at the time] always told me to express myself. That sunk into my brain. Be confident and express yourself.

"I had to man-mark Liam Brady, who was my team mate in the Republic of Ireland side. Jimmy said to me, ‘If he goes for a shit, go with him.’ It was a simple as that. My job was to make him do nothing. To be honest I found it a bit embarrassing. I know it sounds daft, but I felt that I’d only just got to know that lads in the Irish team, and now I had to give Liam a bit of fucking grief.

"But I did my job - I got into him a bit and niggled him to slow him down. He got a bit huffy and puffy. Once they went two goals up, though, he relaxed a bit. And those two deflected goals by that bloody idiot Malcolm McDonald, well, one was going for a throw in and the other one was going for a corner. When they got the goals they played better. They had a two goal start and they started to take the piss. We needed luck on our side and we didn’t have it.

"In the dressing room afterwards, everyone was a bit sad and choked. As much as we’d lost, it was the way that we lost it. Those two horrible goals. But then Peter Angell [Orient’s coach] came in and said that we’d had a fantastic run, we’d been fantastic for the club, and not to forget who we’d played to get this far. He got a bottle of beer, opened it up and said, ‘Here’s to you lads, well done.’ It broke the ice. We were all feeling sorry for ourselves, but once a few more beers came out we realised that we’d had a good run. Then we all got fucking hammered.

"I’ll never forget the experience. For a little club in those days it was fantastic. I’ve had some good times since, but our FA Cup run of 1978 was one of my best all-time experiences.”
　
You can read the full story of Tony's time at Brisbane Road in the book Leyton Orient Greats