15 December 2012

Leyton Orient 1 Scunthorpe United 3, 15/12/12

A game in which... Orient were flatter than a flatfish that's just been sat on by Jonathan Tehoue. The first half was entirely uneventful; the second had events - unfortunately those events were mostly Scunthorpe goals.

Still, the mixture of luck, fluke, accident and miracle that allowed Orient to win eight games in a row was always going to come to an end at some point. What's important is that today's result doesn't send us spinning in the opposite direction.

Moment of magic... Difficult to pick out a moment of magic in a game in which Orient's only shot on target was a penalty. Too many players had an off day today - Rowlands, James, Cook, Cox for starters - so let's instead celebrate the South Stand fan dressed up as Santa who was ejected from the ground. Apparently it was for shouting "Sleighed out". (Blame Bill Badger for that joke, not me.)

Moment of madness... The point at which the entire Orient team apparently thought to themselves, "Well, if there's any time to take a quick nap, it's now" just as Scunthorpe took the free-kick that resulted in their second goal. Indeed, so sluggish were the players throughout the match that if you'd flung some salt at them after the final whistle they would have shrivelled up and died.

Knight in shining armour... All hail the League One Player of the Month, Kevin Lisbie. The former Charlton man hadn't exactly been setting the world on fire for the few seasons before he joined Orient but he seems to have found his mojo in E10. And while at times he must feel like Noel Gallagher trying to jam with The Saturdays, long may his form continue.

Pantomime horse... Since it's panto season it was somehow appropriate that every time Gary Sawyer looked around in search of who he was supposed to be marking, the answer was invariably "He's behind you." Yes, the left back was in dire need of a fairy godmother to tell him "You shall go to the ball" - as it was, his performance was uglier than any ugly sister. Oh no it wasn't! Oh yes it was.

In the dug out... Thanks to his appearance at the AGM last week we now have an insight into Russell's mind. "Marc Laird wasn't the player I thought he was" he admitted, for example, suggesting perhaps he accidentally brought the midfielder to Brisbane Road when actually trying to hire a plumber. He also revealed he has a love/hate relationship with Dean Cox - Russell loves Cox; Cox hates Russell.

Meanwhile on Twitter... This week Dean Cox gave us a unique insight into his domestic affairs and the work he's doing to promote women's rights. "Get home and cook some dinner" he demanded of his girlfriend, who replied "Sorry, who do you think your talking to? you can have toast". But toast is hardly going to satisfy a growing lad like Deano (I presume he's still growing, right?). "Won't be living here much longer with that attitude" he tweeted back before issuing a plaintive - and hungry - cry to his sister: "Is mum up?"

Statto corner... The last time an Orient striker notched up nine goals before Christmas - as Kevin Lisbie has done - was when Steve Watts broke into the club secretary's office in 2001 after a night on the town with Jordan and credited eight of Carl Griffiths' strikes to himself.

02 December 2012

View From The Sofa: Alfreton Town 2 Leyton Orient 4, 2/12/12

Orient take to the pitch
A televised game which... Orient would have lost 58-4 were it not for the opposition's relentless targeting of the woodwork. Yes, if the footballers from the tiny, rural 16th century hamlet of Alfreton were playing crossbar challenge then they'd have won this game hands down.

As it was, they were unlucky to come away with nothing since for large parts of the game the Os were as somnolent as a Derbyshire villager trying to sleep off the 37 cans of cider he'd consumed at the local school fete. Luckily a couple of spells of control and four quality goals ensured Orient's passage to round three.

Small screen hero... If you ever need a striker to punish a defence composed of electricians, taxi drivers and school dinner ladies, then David Mooney is your man. The Irishman continued his recent run of good form with a lively display and two deftly-taken goals. For reasons best known to himself, however, he rather embarrassingly elected to celebrate the second by playing Pat-A-Cake, Pat-A-Cake, Baker's Man with Lee Cook.

Stage fright... Ben Chorley - who has been excellent of late - seemed to approach being in front of the cameras with all the confidence of a Hollyoaks extra asked to star in Othello alongside Kenneth Branagh.

Lee Cook still in the process
of leaving the pitch
TV burp... Lee Cook's ridiculous time-wasting in the second half, when he left the pitch after being substituted so slowly it was like watching someone try to run through a swamp in concrete boots. Or Michael Symes running unimpeded.

View from the opposition... "We should of won that game," said Alfreton player Ross Killock. And while a Alfreton victory wouldn't really have counted as a 'giant-killing' - more an unexpected rebuke of a dwarf by a six-year-old girl - they would probably have deserved it.

Meanwhile on Twitter... More bizarre Anglo-French banter from Mathieu Baudry, who tweeted earlier this week: "nice eveniing ... arms one fire after gym+lost my phone there" which presumably means he accidentally set himself alight at Fitness First before misplacing his Blackberry.

Statto corner... Orient still have a long way to go to beat the 1961/62 record of nine straight wins. The run was finally brought to an end in a 3-2 loss against Bristol Rovers after Sid Bishop, Cyril Lea and Dave Dunmore chose not to turn up until 40 minutes into the first half as they had half a crown on an insider-tipped greyhound at Walthamstow Dogs.
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