Leyton Orient 1 Hartlepool United 0, 16/10/12

A game in which... Orient raced out of the blocks with so much eye-bulging energy it was as if Lance Armstrong had prepared their pre-match hydration. Yes, the home team could have been 3-0 up within about five minutes such was the attacking intent. That we only won 1-0 when we created so many chances is mildly concerning (despite heroics by the Hartlepool keeper) but let's instead celebrate a much-needed victory. Amazing what happens when you try to win football matches rather than not lose them, hey?

Moment of magic... Ryan Brunt's goal - the first at Brisbane Road in 225 minutes of league football - in which Moses Odubajo's cross was so sumptuous that, had he been on the pitch, Michael Symes would have eaten it rather than head it into the net. That's assuming Symes would have been on the end of the cross in the first place, as opposed to ambling round the centre circle idly wondering whether it would be ok to have a fry-up and a kebab after the game.

Moment of madness... Another piece of trickery from Moses Odubajo who, in the first half, somehow managed to nutmeg himself and backheel the ball into touch with no Hartlepool players in the vicinity. Next week: Anthony Griffith bamboozles the opposition by slide tackling himself then stamping on his own ankle.

Knight in shining armour... Odubajo all the way. Time and time again Moses parted the blue sea of defenders and created chance after chance. Indeed, Hartlepool left back Darren Holden may have more difficult nights in his life, but only if he tries to explain the rules of noughts and crosses to Jimmy Smith.

Ever seen these two in the same room? 

Pantomime horse... No bad performances from anyone in an Os' shirt tonight, so instead focus on the blood vessel-busting antics of The Thing lookalike Neale Cooper. At one point the Hartlepool manager unleashed such a loud stream of invective at the Orient bench that it nearly awakened Kevin Dearden from the deep and peaceful slumber he's been in since dropping off during the 1-0 loss to Ebbsfleet United in pre-season.

In the dug out... Tactically Russell got it spot on tonight after making the bold and risky decision to play his players in their correct positions. Full credit to him, too, for not battening down the hatches to preserve a 1-0 lead and continuing to encourage his team to press right up until the final whistle. And what was the secret of the victory? According to Slade it's starting training five minutes earlier. If only we'd known it was so simple.

Meanwhile on Twitter... Spare a though for former O George Porter, who when he's not playing for Burnley (which is all the time) continues to struggle with the everyday realities of life: "Taking pictures of my boiler sending them to my mum because I don't no how to work the heating, living alone is so hard!" Hard indeed, but don't worry Os fans, George has found a way to pass the time: "Why do I always think in can box in front of my mirror when I get out the shower?" In next week's instalment: George calls the police to help him turn on his dishwasher and fashions himself a beard made of bubble bath.

Statto corner... Orient's total of 20 shots on goal tonight was the highest since a game against Hull City in April 1998. That day Carl Griffiths - who was coincidentally just one goal short of his annual scoring bonus - took an unprecedented 73 shot on goal, 65 of which were from his own half.

Leyton Orient v Hartlepool: The game that never was 25/8/12

Here's me on Sports Tonight Live talking about the Hartlepool no-show:

Hartlepool United 2 Leyton Orient 1, 28/4/12

A game which… ended with Orient celebrating like an unattractive beauty queen who's won a pageant by virtue of the fact that all her fellow contestants had the previous night contracted a flesh-eating virus. Yes, sometimes losers do win, and while Orient’s performance was another familiarly flaccid string of defensive errors and limited attacking prowess, the fact that Wycombe, Chesterfield and Exeter all lost means that the Os will be playing League One football again next season.

Moment of magic… Notts County’s winning goal against Wycombe, consigning the Sofa-heads or whatever they're called to relegation and ensuring that even when Orient lose to Rochdale next week, they’ll still be safe. Forgive me if I’m being churlish, but aside from the 1-0 victory at Oldham back in March, Orient’s own battle against relegation was about as spirited as an after-party at a teetotallers’ convention.

Moment of madness… Ben Chorley’s reaction to Hartlepool’s second goal when, true to form, he started wildly berating everyone around him… until he realised there was actually no one around him and the goal was entirely his own fault. This was preceded by giving an earful to Leon McSweeney after the first goal, probably upset that the Irishman hadn’t offered him a custard cream on the coach or something.

Knight in shining armour… Jamal Campbell-Ryce, whose lively display and superb goal was really the only ray of hope in the shroud of darkness that’s enveloped the Orient team. His performances may suggest to Russell Slade that having a flair player in the team other than Dean Cox can actually be quite handy.

Pantomime horse… Probably Chorley again, though to be fair the whole defence looked as shaky as a trifle in a wind tunnel.

In the dug out… So, Russell Slade has had one wonderful season and one dreadful one. Since we stayed up, the former excuses the latter, but the gaffer is more likely to get an offer from B&Q than he is Barnsley this summer, so hopefully he can focus on rebuilding the Orient squad.

Meanwhile on Twitter… “Best of luck to Notts County, Hudders and Yeovil” tweeted Leon McSweeney before the match, a stirring call to arms for an Orient victory reminiscent of Iain Duncan Smith at his very finest. George Porter, meanwhile, showed how focused and up for the game he was with this: “A jelous woman does more work than the F.B.I.” It was actually left to former O and current star of Bambi On Ice, Loick “Robert” Pires to give some proper advice: “DO NOT RELY OR DEPEND ON OTHERS.”

Lesson for the day… DO RELY AND DEPEND ON OTHERS.

Leyton Orient 1 Hartlepool United 1, 5/11/11

A game in which... there were fireworks. Not metaphorical ones to describe an explosive Orient display, but actual fireworks released over the stadium by local ASBO kids. Terrell Forbes, for one, was impressed and was presumably watching the descending embers in wonder while he clumsily bundled into Andy Monkhouse to hand Hartlepool a penalty.

But let's not be too downhearted: a draw with a classy side with an impressive away record is nothing to cry about and there was a periods in the first half in which Orient looked very threatening. Ultimately though, even with the visitors down to 10 men, you'd have got better odds on Frankie Cocozza hitting a correct note in that evening's X Factor than the Os finding the back of the net.

Moment of magic... The first half moment when George Porter showed so much pace that he didn't simply leave Ritchie Humphreys for dead, but embalmed him, dressed him up in his best suit and conducted a full funeral service. The Hartlepool left-back might have more horredous days in his life, but only if he's strapped into a chair and forced to listen to Johnny Robinson singing songs from the musical Cats for 24 hours on end.

Moment of madness.... The moment when Scott Cuthbert elected to clear a ball from near the corner flag by passing it straight into the middle of his own penalty area. For the most part the former Swindon man has deputised ably for the injured Ben Chorley - same haircut for starters - but the occasional moment of calamity means Chorley's return to the centre of defence will be a welcome one.

Knight in shining armour... The hugely impressive George Porter, who's giving the side attacking intent, balance and, most of all, pace. Indeed, no one's seen such speed at Brisbane Road since Sean Thornton's post-match sprints from the dressing room to the bar.

Pantomime horse... Not the worst performance in the world, but Jamie Cureton has apparently been struck badly by the Brisbane Road virus that renders previously successful strikers totally impotent upon joining Leyton Orient. There's only one known cure for this: grow fat, take your wife's name and join Blackpool. Just ask Gary Taylor-Fletcher.

In the dug out... We've seen a massive change in tactics from Big Russ over the last few games. The manager has boldly thrown out his previous modus operandi of 'Give it to Coxy then hope for the best' in favour of a far more sophisticated 'Give it to Georgie and sometimes Coxy then hope for the best'. Let's hope it continues to pay dividends.

A word on the opposition... While the Hartlepool fans were as quiet as an Only Way Is Essex cast member at an astrophysics quiz night, their team were an impressively tidy outfit. James Poole caught the eye, and the Monkey Hangers could consider themselves unlucky not to have gone one up in the first half when the ball crossed the Orient goal line by about three metres.

Meanwhile on Twitter... Something of an Orient bromance brewing on the social network this week, as Jimmy Smith revealed on Thursday that he was "Chilling in the crib with @dean_7cox", which presumably means they were sharing a child's bed together. No problems for Coxy, of course, but surely Jimmy's legs were sticking out the end? Anyway, things heated up on Monday when George Porter tweeted a photo of the pair of them sharing a bath. Still, good luck to them. Jimmy's a pleasure-seeker after all and tonight tweeted this stirring raison d'etre: "HERE,4,A,GOOD,TIME,NOT,A,LONG,TIME,!!!" Quite.

Lesson for the day... You can't win 'em ell, and if you can't entertain on the pitch at least give the fans something to enjoy in the form of fireworks. Next week: perennial substitute Mike Cestor sets up a touchline puppet show to distract fans from a struggling performance against FA Cup minnows Bromley.

Leyton Orient 1 Hartlepool United 0, 16/10/10

A game in which... Orient abandoned their previously unsuccessful tactic of playing reasonably well and then losing in favour of playing absolutely abysmally and winning. The first 60 minutes were woeful, a footballing spectacle only marginally preferable to trying to trim your own toenails with a chainsaw. The last 30 minutes were better, thanks solely to the introduction of on-loan midfielder Paul-Jose M'poku. The Belgian U19 international reminded his forgetful Orient teammates that passing, dribbling, running and shooting are often useful weapons to deploy when trying to win a game of football.

Moment to savour... Hartlepool, it should be noted, were equally as dire as Orient, but did have one notable attempt at goal in the second half - a header which reserve goalkeeper Lee Butcher acrobatically turned over the bar, indicating he could prove to be a more than able back up to Jamie Jones.

Head in hands moment... Ben Chorley's lung-busting 70-yard run towards the end of the game, which took him from deep in the Orient half into Hartlepool's penalty area. Is he going to blast it into the net? Is he going to cleverly lay it off for Scott McGleish to score? Oh, he's passed it straight to the opposition and has to run all the way back again... Shame.

King for a day... Only one candidate really: Paul-Jose M'poku. Introduced with half an hour to go, he gave the Os some real impetus going forward, continually beating men and causing trouble around the edge of the box. Presumably he'd been watching the game very closely from the bench, because he opted to shoot from every free kick rather than pass to a fellow red shirt, no matter how far away from goal he was. Clever.

Boo boy... Dean Cox, who gave an outright JJ Melligan of a performance. In the first 15 minutes he bizarrely opted to deftly chip the ball back into this own penalty area into the path of an onrushing Hartlepool player, and it went downhill from there. Even his trademark squaring up to an opposition player seemed half-hearted this week.

In the dug out... Let's give Big Russ the benefit of the doubt and assume that, despite the loss of Stephen Dawson to injury, he left M'poku on the bench for match-fitness rather than tactical reasons. Still, there was a fair degree of heckling from the West Stand over his reluctance to make any substitutions until the final half an hour, and the manager's apparently unending in faith in his first-choice eleven despite Orient's league position is a bit dubious. And what's James Walker done to upset him? Pissed in his cap?

What would Martin Ling have done? Claimed in the post-match press conference that Paul-Jose Mpoku's performance was one of genius, then gone on to leave him on the bench for the next match in favour of JJ Melligan. "JJ's been really committed in training this week and he deserves his chance," he'd say, defiantly.

Going down? Well, we're out of the relegation zone, but it's going to take a lot more than a 1-0 win over a hopeless Hartlepool side to salvage something from this season. Still, keep the teenage Spurs loanees coming in and we might just stand a chance of staying up.