Leyton Orient 1 Blackpool 2, 19/11/16

A game in which... Leyton Orient's players showed solidarity with the fan protests by standing still from the 18th minute onwards. All except Alan Dunne, that is, who took things one step further and actually tried to sabotage not only the match, but the very concept of football itself.

Happy clappies may point to the tiniest glimmer of briskness in Orient's first-half performance, albeit with the total absence of any end product. But defensive calamities and the post-team talk catastrophe of a second half meant defeat – a club record of seven in a row at home – was inevitable. 

Or to put it another way: we are monumentally shit. 

Jump off your seat moment #1... WE SCORED A GOAL WE SCORED A GOAL WE SCORED A GOAL WE SCORED A MEANINGLESS GOAL! I'll say one thing about Paul McCallum: if you plop the ball on his head in the penalty area he'll pretty likely score, almost like he was created to restore the balance to a universe in which Ollie Palmer exists. 

Give that man a medal... Nigel Atangana again. Why? Because of his reaction when Blackpool scored their first. The goal was a result of a howler by Yves Erichot, who was clearly mortified and appeared to be crying actual tears. Everyone bar Atangana looked to the floor, shoulders sunken, and muttered "You fucking idiot" at Erichot under their breaths. Not brave Nigel. He was the only one who went to console the fucking idiot. The only one who was talking at the rest of the team, trying to gee them up, the only one showing any passion, any commitment. There is zero team spirit in this squad. Zero. 

Taxi for... Robbie Weir, who apparently misinterpreted today's protest as We Want Our Club Foot Back. In September the Orient captain – yes, he really is the captain – wrote this on Twitter: "Since I've joined the club I have been awful. And when you think it can't get any worst [sic] – it does! I would like to apologise to everyone associated with the club. I will turn this around." I actually quite respected him for that. If only more players gave honest appraisals of their performances via Twitter. ("Since I joined the club my performances have massively increased the likelihood of an imminent apocalypse" - Connor Essam.) Still waiting for Robbie to turn this around, mind. In your own time, pal... 

In the dug out... On the touchline Alberto Cavasin gives the impression of a man who until this moment has spent the entire 60 years of his life isolated from all human contact and left to fend for himself in an Amazonian rainforest. He is frozen in bemused wonderment at what lies before him and has not an inkling of how to react to this strange world, let alone communicate with it. Why are people kicking a ball around? Why are people watching them kick a ball around? Why is Alan Dunne repeatedly kicking the ball into the people watching? Either that or – as fan Laurie Hann suggested – he was doing a solo mannequin challenge for the entire 90 minutes. 

Jump off your seat moment #2... The moment fan Marc Shaffer literally did jump off his seat to abuse Alberto Cavasin in Italian via Google Translate. His message: Stai diventando licenziato al mattino. You're getting sacked in the morning... 

Leyton Orient 3 Stevenage 0, 16/8/16

A game in which... Orient proved that they're not necessarily as shit as every single performance of the last two seasons might suggest. In fact I'd go as far as to say that this was the most enjoyable 90 minutes at Brisbane Road since the play-off semi-final of 2013/14.

Stevenage were rubbish, obviously, but you can only beat what's put in front of you, unless that's Newport and you lose. But Orient were in swashbuckling form, penetrating the opposition defence time and again with the near-forgotten tactic of actually passing the ball along the ground. Throw in some highly promising individual performances – Kelly, Massey and Erichot for starters – and it starts to look like things aren't quite as dire as they seemed on Saturday. Let the good times roll.

Jump off your seat moment... The moment Dean Cox – God knows it's good to have him back – scored with a header from the edge of the box, a feat that until tonight every single expert from the world of science and Professor Brian Cox had deemed physically impossible. From a Stevenage point of view this is beyond embarrassing: like Sir Bradley Wiggins being overtaken by a kid on a tricycle; or Lionel Messi being nutmegged by Bradley Pritchard.

Give that man a medal... Well done to Harry Cornick Jr for repeatedly getting dangerous balls into the box like an inverse Sean Clohessy. This was the type of blistering loanee winger performance that Ryan Hedges could have put in had he not had Fabio Liverani screaming insanely into his brain for 90 relentless minutes every time he played. But if this is the shape of things to come from Cornick, and Simpson stays and shakes off the rust, we may actually score more goals.

Taxi for... What a joy it was to see Jamie Jones kicking the ball with the same reckless regard for consequence with which he manages his Twitter account. How pleasurable it was to see him fumbling crosses almost like he was playing for Orient during the 2013/14 play-off final. And it would be an utter dereliction of duty of me not to end this paragraph with the words: Enjoy your relegation battle, Jamie.

Jamie Jones reaches for a cross

In the dug out... Positioning Dean Cox in a more central role is usually the last roll of the dice of an under-pressure Orient manager and it never works. Tonight, by total accident, this ruse actually paid off for Andy Hessenthaler and the 4-2-3-1 formation presumably dictated to him by the president looked to have promise. The thing is: Orient do have a good team on paper. Of course, that doesn't help you get promoted: after all, Ian Hendon should have been a good manager on paper, until it turned out that paper just bore a picture of a sunburnt holidaymaker furiously berating Ryan Air ground staff for the fact he's left his own passport in the hotel room. Where was I? Yes, Orient have a good team on paper and if Hessenthaler – let's just call him Yessenthaler and be done with it – can negotiate around the lunatics running the club then we may have a chance of achieving something.

Meanwhile on Twitter... "Just got told the biggest load of nonsense in my life" tweeted Paul McCallum, minutes before kick off, almost as if an Ian Hendon tactical team talk from last season had finally registered in his brain. Make of that what you will, but in the meantime let's turn to our former manager himself. Yes, his fiery-fingered wife Linda Hendon has been at it again, with this: "Ian Hendon and I have been informed by Becchetti that we are not welcome at Brisbane Road to support Orient or Hess. #completeclownofachairman." Which suggests that Linda and Ian were trying to score free seats rather than just paying like the rest of us mugs. Unless of course Mr Becchetti scrutinises the sale of every ticket to ensure no one inappropriate turns up. Wouldn't put it past him. Though in which case how did Connor Essam slip through the net so many times? The plot thickens...

Leyton Orient 2 Barnet 0, 8/8/15

A game which... was preceded by a sort of 80s rock band reunion version of the Cheery Os, which saw Francseco Becchetti, Alessandro Angelieri, Ian Hendon and two other random blokes take to the pitch. But just as quickly as fans thought "Hey, I didn't know Flock of Seagulls had reformed" and meted out a mild ripple of token applause, they were gone again.

If we were underwhelmed by that, then the first half really let us down when Orient were out-muscled by a physical, if profligate, Barnet side and it became apparent there was a huge Romain Vincelot-shaped vortex in the middle of the pitch. But in the second 45 minutes the home side were transformed, almost as if the half-time team talk was delivered in the English language, and put the opposition under the cosh with some neat passing and attacking verve. Seeds of promise, then...

Jump off your seat moment... What a joy it was in Orient's first chance of the game to see Paul McCallum rather than David Mooney clean through on goal. "At least he's not just going to try to chip the keeper," thought every fan who'd been exasperated by our former striker's season-and-a-half's worth of failed lobs. Hearts sank when McCallum did actually try – and inevitably fail – to chip the keeper, though the new front man did redeem himself later when he stuck his laces through a fortunate rebound to put Orient 2-0 up. This is League Two lads – leave the showboating on the training ground.  

Give that man a medal... It's one of the immutable laws of physics that if Bradley Pritchard is within a five-mile radius of a football match his bodily matter will instantly teleport and rematerialise in the starting XI. And so it was with grinding inevitably that the fifth Orient manager in succession deemed the midfielder worthy of selection, and a typically lightweight first-half performance left fans once again scratching their heads as to why. In the second half, however, Pritchard showed what he could really do – which is play very short passes near the touchline to players better able to cross the ball. As such he was instrumental in both Orient goals and made a good case for further influence this season.

Martin Allen. That's not the sea: it's his sweat

Taxi for... Martin Allen. Although it would have to be a taxi in which the interior was entirely covered in water-resistant plastic tarpaulin, such was the rate at which sweat was cascading from every crevice of the Barnet manager's ample body. Particularly from his arse crack, interestingly, making his choice of beige chinos a particularly curious one. Either that or Mag Dog had genuinely shit himself at the prospect of facing Orient, which really would be a first for an opposition manager.

In the dugout... When Dean Cox finally departs this earth and is presumably playing in the Heaven FC first XI, what are the chances that even God thinks it's a good idea to play him at the tip of a diamond? And so it was that Ian Hendon – like every Orient manager before him – figured to himself: "Hey, Tiny is my best player so let's get him more involved and play him behind the strikers." NO, IAN, NO. THIS NEVER WORKS. It's like chucking a dwarf into the path of 11 onrushing juggernauts. Leave Coxy out wide, where he can do far more damage.

Meanwhile on Twitter... "Football is back!" tweeted an excitable Jamie Jones, almost as if he'd forgotten he's going to spend the whole season sitting on the bench. Still, that should leave him plenty of time to bait the fans of the club that paid his wages for five and half seasons, eh Scouse?