19 November 2016

Leyton Orient 1 Blackpool 2, 19/11/16

A game in which... Leyton Orient's players showed solidarity with the fan protests by standing still from the 18th minute onwards. All except Alan Dunne, that is, who took things one step further and actually tried to sabotage not only the match, but the very concept of football itself.

Happy clappies may point to the tiniest glimmer of briskness in Orient's first-half performance, albeit with the total absence of any end product. But defensive calamities and the post-team talk catastrophe of a second half meant defeat – a club record of seven in a row at home – was inevitable. 

Or to put it another way: we are monumentally shit. 


Jump off your seat moment #1... WE SCORED A GOAL WE SCORED A GOAL WE SCORED A GOAL WE SCORED A MEANINGLESS GOAL! I'll say one thing about Paul McCallum: if you plop the ball on his head in the penalty area he'll pretty likely score, almost like he was created to restore the balance to a universe in which Ollie Palmer exists. 

Give that man a medal... Nigel Atangana again. Why? Because of his reaction when Blackpool scored their first. The goal was a result of a howler by Yves Erichot, who was clearly mortified and appeared to be crying actual tears. Everyone bar Atangana looked to the floor, shoulders sunken, and muttered "You fucking idiot" at Erichot under their breaths. Not brave Nigel. He was the only one who went to console the fucking idiot. The only one who was talking at the rest of the team, trying to gee them up, the only one showing any passion, any commitment. There is zero team spirit in this squad. Zero. 

Taxi for... Robbie Weir, who apparently misinterpreted today's protest as We Want Our Club Foot Back. In September the Orient captain – yes, he really is the captain – wrote this on Twitter: "Since I've joined the club I have been awful. And when you think it can't get any worst [sic] – it does! I would like to apologise to everyone associated with the club. I will turn this around." I actually quite respected him for that. If only more players gave honest appraisals of their performances via Twitter. ("Since I joined the club my performances have massively increased the likelihood of an imminent apocalypse" - Connor Essam.) Still waiting for Robbie to turn this around, mind. In your own time, pal... 

In the dug out... On the touchline Alberto Cavasin gives the impression of a man who until this moment has spent the entire 60 years of his life isolated from all human contact and left to fend for himself in an Amazonian rainforest. He is frozen in bemused wonderment at what lies before him and has not an inkling of how to react to this strange world, let alone communicate with it. Why are people kicking a ball around? Why are people watching them kick a ball around? Why is Alan Dunne repeatedly kicking the ball into the people watching? Either that or – as fan Laurie Hann suggested – he was doing a solo mannequin challenge for the entire 90 minutes. 


Jump off your seat moment #2... The moment fan Marc Shaffer literally did jump off his seat to abuse Alberto Cavasin in Italian via Google Translate. His message: Stai diventando licenziato al mattino. You're getting sacked in the morning... 

21 comments:

  1. This is extremely funny and very well observed, cheered me up after yesterday's performance and today's rain

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  2. Very funny but the reality is painful...

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  3. افضل شركة نقل اثاث بالمدينة المنورة تساعدك على نقل اثاثك بامان فلا داعى للقلق مع افضل شركة نقل اثاث بجدة

    عزيزى العميل انت من محبى التنقل باستمرار بالتالى انت بحاجة ماسة وضروية الى الاستعانة بالمختصين في نقل العفش خاصة ارخص شركة نقل اثاث بالرياض لان الاستعانة باى من عمالة الشوارع الغير مدربة والتي لا تمتلك خبرة كافية في نقل العفش او الحفاظ علية وليس هذا فقط فقد يؤدى الاستعانة بعمالة الشوارع الى حدوث حالة فقدان وتكسير للاثاث بالتالى التاثير الضار عليك عزيزى العميل

    لا تقلق مطلقاً الان بشأن نقل اي منقولات خاصة بك طالما استعنت بشركة الاول لـ نقل الأثاث في الرياض وخارج الرياض فنحن ليس الوحيدون ولكننا متميزون عن اى مؤسسة أخرى داخل وخارج الدمام وشهرتنا كافضل شركة نقل عفش بينبع
    نقل اثاث بجدة

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