Top 10 Brisbane Road moments of 2011

Though Robin Van Persie apologists may disagree, football runs in seasons, not calendar years.

Nonetheless, 2011 hasn't been a bad year for Os fans, featuring a 13-match unbeaten run, memorable victories over the likes of Sheffield Wednesday and Charlton, an FA Cup odyssey that culminated in a famous draw against Arsenal at Brisbane Road and, of course, the departure of Ryan Jarvis.

Here, then, are my top 10 moments of the year...

10. Ince goes off the boil   
Leyton Orient 2 Notts County 0, 5 March 2011

Orient's dream FA Cup run had come to end three days before this fixture and as such it wouldn't have been a surprise to see the players exhibiting the sort of humdinging hangover that used to regularly accompany Sean Thornton to training sessions. But not so: the Os put in a professional and convincing performance to ease past Notts County, which so incensed their manager Paul Ince that he was moved to throw his half-time tea over Kevin Dearden and offer him out. Presumably if the Os' goalkeeping coach had taken him up on his offer, Ince would have bottled it at the last minute and sent Gareth Southgate to fight him instead.

9. The Beast bites back   
Leyton Orient 3 Exeter 0, 10 December 2011

Jonathan Tehoue spent so much time digging Orient out of holes last season that he could easily forge a new career as a miner if it wasn't for all the actual hard work involved. After a hand injury had kept him out for the opening part of the season the French striker reminded fans why he's such an important player to have on the bench. With the Os 1-0 up but the game far from over, he trundled up the pitch and nodded in Kevin Lisbie's cross with his very first touch of the game.

8. George's greased lightning  
Leyton Orient 3 Bromley 0, 12 November 2011

Not since the days when Martin Ling would sprint towards his phone whenever a striker over the height of 5ft 6in came on the market has Brisbane Road been witness to any true bursts of speed. Enter George Porter, who showed what he's capable of against non-league Bromley by simply knocking the ball his ahead of himself near the halfway line, then continuing his blistering charge all the way to goal to put Orient 2-0 up.

7. Butcher shows his guts!   
Leyton Orient 2 Preston North End 1, 1 October 2011

The fact that Orient - having failed to win a single one of their first 10 league fixtures of the season - were leading Preston 2-1 at half-time was a miracle enough in itself. But when the Lilywhites were awarded a spot kick in the second half fans would have been less surprised to see Lee Butcher part the Red Sea, feed the five thousand and raise Lazarus from the dead than actually save Graham Alexander's penalty. Butch had just let in 14 consecutive spot kicks in a shoot out against Dagenham & Redbridge; Alexander is one of football's most deadly 12-yard bandits. But save it he did, giving Orient the platform to go on and record their first victory of the season.


6. Lis is more!   
Leyton Orient 1 Sheffield United 1, 22 October 2011

Orient have a lot of difficulty winning games with 11 players on the pitch, so when it's 10 against 12 they really have very little chance of getting a result. Yes, referee Oliver Langford certainly didn't make things easy after a series of decisions so nonsensical that they could easily have been mistaken for the plot of Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol. All hail Kevin Lisbie, then, who tucked a loose ball away in the sixth minute of added time to snatch a point for the Os and send Brisbane Road into delirium.

5. M'Poku rocket rocks Latics   
Leyton Orient 1 Oldham 0, 12 March 2011

By March, Orient were eight points off the play-offs with four games in hand, but were finding it hard to break down a resilient Oldham side. With 10 minutes to go Russell Slade turned to his bench and realised that he'd accidentally left his best player out of the side for the 15th consecutive week. But no matter, for Spurs loanee Paul-Jose M'Poku only needed a few minutes to work his magic, and with a Shazam! and an Abracadabra! unleashed an unstoppable strike with the outside of his boot that gave Orient three invaluable points at the death.


4. Great Scott! Four-star Os overrun Owls  
Leyton Orient 4 Sheffield Wednesday 0, 22 January 2011

When one-time Premier League residents Sheffield Wednesday came-a-calling at Brisbane Road in January they faced an Orient side who'd only just hauled themselves out of the relegation zone. Alan Irvine's team talk probably went something like: "Don't exert yourselves too much lads, we've got some important games coming up. Just knock it around a bit and wait for their right back to spoon the ball into his own net." Unfortunately for the Owls they found themselves on the receiving end of an inspired performance by the home side, capped by veteran Scott McGleish's glancing header that sealed a deserved 4-0 victory.

3. Big Ben chimes time for Charlton  
Leyton Orient 1 Charlton Athletic 0, 31 December 2011

The final day of 2011 and there was something of a party spirit at Brisbane Road. No, the Peter Allen Cafe wasn't offering a free soup of the day (always tomato) with any purchase of a pizza pod, but rather Leyton Orient were giving league leaders Charlton the runaround. The fact that they'd only put away one of their countless chances meant a nervy final few minutes, but when Rhoys Wiggins looked to have equalised for the visitors big brave Ben Chorley was on hand to majestically block the shot on the line, allowing the Os to see in the New Year in style.


2. Jar-Jar sinks Peterborough 
Leyton Orient 2 Peterborough 1, 22 April 2011

Incredibly, with four games left of the 2010/11 season Orient were still in with a shout of reaching the play-offs, though a win against promotion-chasing Peterborough was essential to keep hopes alive. With ten minutes to go the scores were level and Russell Slade must have been ready to throw in the towel. Instead he threw in Ryan Jarvis, which was tantamount to the same thing. But in the sixth minute of injury time the former Norwich man - who'd hardly played a game all season - defied all known laws of the universe to rise majestically above the Peterborough defence to meet Jason Crowe's cross and nod the Os to victory.


1. Tehoue shoots down Gunners
Leyton Orient 1 Arsenal 1, 20 February 2011

Arsene Wenger has an encyclopedic knowledge of French football, but even he was unaware of a fellow countryman by the name of Jonathan Tehoue who once lumbered around the playing fields of Europe like an ailing ocean liner on one last voyage before being put out of commission. Tehoue found his home in east London and, for all his shortcomings over 90 minutes, there is no striker in the country deadlier from the bench - as Arsenal discovered to their cost when he scored in the 90th minute of the FA Cup fifth round tie. A packed Brisbane Road was rocked to its rafters.

Was 2011 as good as 2010? Take a look at the Top Ten Brisbane Road Moments of 2010 and decide...

Carling Cup: Leyton Orient 3 Bristol Rovers 2, 30/8/11

A game in which... Orient would have sold their own grandmothers in exchange for a win, so don't be surprised if you see 11 elderly ladies with price tags round their necks in the window of the Leyton High Road pawn shop tomorrow morning. When Stephen Dawson scored in added time the players celebrated with such unbridled passion, excitement and relief it was almost as if they'd just been told that Jedward were emigrating to New Zealand forever. And though if you look at the fine detail of the performance you'd discover that, well, there wasn't much fine detail, the important thing is that Orient finally have a platform upon which to start building a season.

Moment of class... Jonathan Tehoue's little bit of touchline trickery - reminiscent of his sneaky shuffle past the Arsenal defence in last season's FA Cup tie - that led to the winning goal. The Beast is so adept at getting Orient out of tight spots he could easily find alternative employment as a can of WD-40.

Moment of madness... Less a moment of madness, more the entire second half. Yes, Orient seemed to be under the impression they were taking part in a Scott McGleish testimonial, such was their willingness to present Bristol Rovers with scoring opportunities.

Knight in shining armour... Stephen Dawson put in a typically energetic midfield performance and should be applauded for electing to shoot in the penalty area to score the winning goal, rather than opting for his usual ruse of poleaxing himself to the ground as if felled by an invisible lumberjack.

Pantomime horse... Leon McSweeney, whose performance in midfield showed all the composure of a teenage boy trying to negotiate the wine list at Pizza Express. The ex-Hartlepool man repeatedly gave the ball directly to the opposition before being moved to right-back, whereupon he was replaced by Elliot Omozusi - the ultimate indignity.

In the dug out... Fair play to Russ, he's trying to address the problems and started tonight's game with a new formation, the midfield diamond. Nice idea, but unfortunately Orient's version rather more resembled a midfield lump of coal.

A word on the opposition... No goal for Scott McGleish, despite Orient's best efforts to gift him one, though the veteran striker did combine well with the impressive Chris Zebroski for Bristol Rovers' first. Still, the Pirates can consider themselves unlucky to come away with nothing after a sprightly second half.

Meanwhile on Twitter... Big news on Twitter this week: Jimmy Smith threatened to leave, but pulled back from the brink and is still relaying essential information such as when he's having a bath, what time he's going to bed and the like. His continued presence will be, of course, a huge relief to Barcelona and Spain star Andres Iniesta, who has become totally reliant on Jimmy's advice such as this: "iniesta relax next time when ya 1on 1 with keeper".

Lesson for the day... At last Orient have found a way to win! Admittedly this only seems to work against League Two teams, but don't despair - at least we'll be in with a fighting chance next season.

Five things we've learnt so far this summer

Summer at Brisbane Road is usually a time when both staff and fans can relax, sit back and watch other clubs sign up all the decent players.

This year it was different because, incredibly, some of those decent players were actually on Orient's books. The fact that we've managed to hang on to the core members of an almost-successful squad - not to mention the manager - and added some extra quality bodes very, very well for next season. In which case it is thus almost inevitable that Orient will be relegated.

Here, then, are five things we've learnt so far this summer...

1. Russell's got balls

It would have been easy for Russell Slade to give Scott McGleish another season. A fans' favourite, Orient's top scorer for 2010/11 and a player that always gives 100 per cent. But instead the manager politely showed Scotty the door and moved quickly to replace him with a striker marginally younger and marginally better in Jamie Cureton - a move something akin to dumping Fearne Cotton so you can go out with Holly Willoughby. Still, when you miss out on the play-offs by one point these margins are important. Which begs the question, can bold Russell really do without Ryan Jarvis's guaranteed two goals a season? Time will tell.

2. Loyalty isn't dead!

For most footballers loyalty means not sleeping with your wife's sister too often. But, with rival clubs circling around manager Russell Slade and players such as Jamie Jones, Jimmy Smith and Dean Cox, loyalty was tested to the limit this summer. So, it was refreshing to see such fierce devotion to Orient among the staff. Russell Slade: "An opportunity arose with a Championship club... I was not given permission to speak to them"; Jamie Jones: "League One goalkeeper - for now"; Jimmy Smith: "My contract is up. I will have to speak to them about whether I'll sign a new deal or move on."

3. Players get really, really bored in the summer

Thanks to the delights of Twitter we now know that, for players, summer is a long, soul-destroying stretch of interminable boredom, punctuated only by occasional games of Pro-Evo or getting a new tattoo. By July, Dean Cox, Jimmy Smith and George Porter were driven to taking the expression 'thick as two short planks' to its logical conclusion, with this series of pranks.

4. Dean Smith should probably do a bit more research

"I think a few Orient fans I've spoken to said he's had a few injuries," said Walsall manager Dean Smith of his new signing Adam Chambers, suggesting perhaps that his research might have been a little more in-depth. (Next week, Deano on new signing Adrien Patulea: "Yeah, some bloke down the pub told me he reckons he's got a bit of class.") Still, Smith has long been a loyal servant to Orient and continues to do his former club many favours. In signing Ryan Jarvis, for example, he's virtually guaranteed that Orient won't concede a goal in their opening fixture against the Saddlers.

5. We might get to see Orient past v Orient present

Have you ever wondered how the current Orient team would fare against Os teams of old? Well, we might just find out as - due to an adminstrative error - Martin Ling is back in league football as manager of Torquay. Predictably enough our one-time gaffer has already signed teacher's pet Brian Saah and has been sniffing around Craig Easton. Should Orient draw Torquay in a cup competiton then expect our current crop to be lining up against a 4-4-2 formation that includes Derek Duncan, Loick Pires and JJ Melligan. And who'd win? Well, perhaps football would be the winner. Just kidding. 

The top ten Leyton Orient players of 2010/11

At the conclusion of most seasons at Leyton Orient it's difficult to think of one player who's excelled over the campaign. Not this time, which is why I've selected - in reverse order - the top ten players of 2010/11...

10. Andrew Whing

When it comes to decent right-backs, Leyton Orient's heritage is about as distinguished as Jodie Marsh's wardrobe. Enter Andrew Whing, dead ringer for EastEnders' Max Branning and owner of a chin so big it's got it's own postcode. Yes, rival right-back Elliot Omozusi may be slightly more comfortable on the ball - not least when he's plucking it out of the net after his customary once-a-game howler - but Whing provided the grit this season, regularly clattering into unsuspecting left-wingers and driving forward like a steroid-pumped gingerbread man.
More on Andrew Whing >

9. Paul-Jose M'Poku
Every now and again at Brisbane Road a player comes along with such dazzling skills that resident managers are left with no choice but to inexplicably leave them on the bench every game. Such was the plight of under-19 Belgian international and Spurs loanee Paul-Jose M'Poku. Hartlepool United's defenders are still in therapy trying to come to terms with the outright humiliation they were subjected to on the young winger's home debut, and M'Poku continued to provide flashes of inspiration in the 15 minutes he was allowed on the pitch each match. Essentially, stuff happened when M'Poku played. Just think what may have been if he'd been in the starting line-up...
More on Paul-Jose M'Poku >

8. Stephen Dawson
Every team needs an engine and this season Orient's was Stephen Dawson. The diminutive Irishman was the master of tirelessly motoring around the pitch, stopping only to pick up needless yellow cards and to throw himself to the ground in the penalty area as if scythed down by a poltergeist. Dawson excelled in the home leg against Arsenal, where the Premier League side subjected him to a particularly cruel 90 minutes of piggy-in-the-middle - though they rarely broke through his expertly-marshalled ranks.
More on Stephen Dawson >

7. Ben Chorley
Every lower league club needs a Ben Chorley, an uncompromising central defender who pulls his shorts up to somewhere beneath his chest and who's not afraid to stick his face into the path of a flying boot. But our Ben Chorley is so much more than a jumped-up hard man, with his positional sense and reading of the game ensuring Orient are rarely caught out at the back. Once per match he embarks on a lung-busting run upfield, where he is invariably dispossessed just outside the opposition box and has to run all the way back again. This season Chorley also turned out to be Orient's most reliable penalty taker since Matt Lockwood.
More on Ben Chorley >

6. Scott McGleish
You might think that after 20 years of chasing hopeful punts upfield for the likes of Barnet, Northampton and Cambridge United, Scott McGleish's legs might have had a quiet word in his ear and suggested that perhaps he might like to open a pub or something. Not so, for this season the veteran striker continued to cause nuisance to opposition defences like a late thirtysomething who keeps turning up at student parties and insisting on playing REM on the stereo. A true pro, McGleish's 17 goals were just reward for a fine season's work.
More on Scott McGleish >

5. Alex Revell
Alex Revell is the mythical big striker Martin Ling used to have wild, salivating dreams about. With a chiselled jaw and ice-white teeth he could land a bit part in a daytime American soap if the football thing doesn't work out, although there's no chance of that in the near future because Revell was a revelation this season. Sixteen goals isn't to be sneered at, but over and above that his unsettling presence, commitment and unselfish attitude was a major factor in Orient's success.
More on Alex Revell >

 
4. Jimmy Smith
What happened to Jimmy Smith this season? Once a player so bland you could have covered him in Tabasco sauce and he'd still have had absolutely no bite, he somehow transformed himself into a midfield goal-machine and one of the driving forces behind Orient's push up the table. Post-Christmas, whenever Orient created a chance it seemed to fall to Smith, and the former Chelsea man rarely missed them.
More on Jimmy Smith >

3. Charlie Daniels
When Charlie Daniels first arrived at Orient on loan in the 2007/08 season he showed a fair degree of promise, and if it wasn't for the fact he could neither defend or attack he could have been quite some player. Well, now Daniels is that player: reliable in defence and a real threat thundering down the left wing, with 15 assists over the season to prove it. This campaign Daniels added the ability to cut inside to his repertoire, a tactic that would have been highly damaging to oppositions if it wasn't for the fact his right foot is about as useful as an inflatable dartboard.
More on Charlie Daniels >

2. Jamie Jones
It's been a real pleasure this season to have a goalkeeper who is actually able to kick the ball properly, who doesn't flap at crosses, who isn't susceptible to low shots to his right, who commands his area and who doesn't throw the ball out directly to opposition strikers in key games... Oh, ok, strike the last point, but Jones' skill between the sticks has been one of the major reasons behind Orient's success this campaign, routinely digging the defence out of six-foot deep holes with his lightening reactions and breathtaking agility.
More on Jamie Jones >

1. Dean Cox
My player of the season for 2010/11, one who boasts the ability to square up to any hulking lower league hard man and fearlessly look him straight in the knee. Yep, Tiny packs a whole lot of attitude into the body of a medium-sized schoolgirl and adds a touch of genuine class to the Orient team as well as being the creative inspiration for much of their attacking play. Indeed, his delivery is so good the scouts watching him this season were from Royal Mail, DHL and the maternity unit at Homerton Hospital. You can't argue with 12 goals and 22 assists over the course of a season - although Cox himself would probably try, straight after he'd started a fight in an empty room.
More on Dean Cox >

Leyton Orient 0 Southampton 2, 9/4/11

A game in which... Orient huffed and puffed but couldn't blow the house down. Southampton, remember, are one of the division's big bad wolves and have the sort of resources that could buy a whole team of Paul-Jose M'Pokus - or over 500 Ryan Jarvises. The Os put in a feisty and committed performance and had the better of the second half, but just couldn't get the ball in the net - at least not with linesman's flag down. Yes, Jimmy Smith has now had three goals disallowed in the space of the week. He's so out of luck that he'll probably go to Faces Nightclub, Gants Hill, tonight and inadvertently take home the only girl there who doesn't put out.

Moment to savour... Scott McGleish's acrobatic volley in the second half, in which he hooked a ball coming over his shoulder towards the goal while suspended in mid-air. The physics police have been alerted that there has been a possible infringement of the laws of gravity.

Head in hands moment... Southampton's first goal, in which Elliot Omozusi inexplicably ducked under an innocuous ball as it came in from the left to allow Ricky Lambert to score. It's anyone's guess as to what happened in the defender's brain, but I'd wager he had a momentary flashback to the days when school bullys would repeatedly fire elastic bands at his head in double maths.

King for a day... No one played a blinder so it's worth highlighting the continued good form of Charlie Daniels. When he arrived at the club his decision-making was so poor it was eligible for numerous government hand-outs. Not any more - the former Spurs man is reliable at the back and a constant threat going forward. He even uses his right foot these days too - though admittedly only for standing on.

Boo boy... Jonathan Tehoue. Admittedly when the French striker is in full flight his pace and strength make him a bit of a handful. Unfortunately today he displayed all the speed off the mark of an ageing oil tanker and was about as useful in the air as a vertigo-afflicted flight attendent.

In the dug out... While it might be all too predictable for fans to call for increased use of a flair player, it is somewhat bemusing how little faith Russell Slade seems to have in Paul-Jose M'Poku. Perhaps the manager needs him on the bench to babysit Tom Carroll, but surely he'd be more useful out on the pitch?

What would Martin Ling have done? Reacted to Jonathan Tehoue's awful performance by reading the player the riot act. "I told him that if things don't improve I'll definitely drop him in about eight games' time," he'd say at a defiant post-match press conference.

Play-offs? Thanks to Bournemouth's terrible form and Rochdale's loss to Colchester, Orient still have exactly the same chance of making the play-offs as they did before today's game. That is, none whatsoever. Just kidding. Keep believing...

Leyton Orient 2 Plymouth Argyle 0, 5/4/11

A game which... was so painless for Orient that it was like being challenged to an arm-wrestle by Gillian McKeith. Plymouth, of course, are in all sorts of trouble and rock bottom of the league, which is exactly the reason they would have beaten the Os in every single season in League One prior to this one. But tonight saw Russell Slade's side prove, as they have done for most of this campaign, that they can effectively dispatch weaker opposition with the minimum of fuss. It wasn't necessarily the most fluid performance, but Jamie Jones was largely untroubled - except by his recurring nightmares of last Saturday, of course.

Moment to savour... Every time Jones dispatched the ball up the field instead of blindly rolling it out to his full backs. His mistake against Charlton was the death knell of Orient's policy of playing piggy in the middle in front of their own goalmouth, and tonight showed that kicking long from the goalkeeper when necessary and playing a neat passing game aren't necesarily mutually exclusive.

Head in hands moment... When, in the second half, Elliot Omozusi broke down the right hand side and decided to try to bamboozle the opposition with six consecutive stepovers. By the time he'd completed them he'd allowed enough time for the entire Plymouth team to jog to the touchline, grab a drink of water, take instruction from the manager, saunter up to the Orient player and casually take the ball away. Take that Lionel Messi!

King for a day... With his fourth goal in five games, the irrepressible Scott McGleish is having something of a late season burst. Which is handy since striker partner Alex Revell, for all his presence and hard work, has become more of a damp squib in front of goal for the last couple of months.

Boo boy... No one had a bad game, but Adam Chambers' return to the starting line-up was matched by a relatively anonymous performance. Are his best days behind him? Or is it that he was only rated so highly in the first place because he was playing alongside Paul Terry? A bit like heralding Prince Andrew as an intellectual genius simply because he's standing next to Peter Andre.

In the dug out... Plaudits to Russell Slade for a reshuffling of the pack - Whing especially excelled back in the side - and a return to winning ways. And while some decisions might befuddle a little - Tom Carroll back on the bench after a commanding first-half display against Charlton? - in the big man we trust.

What would Martin Ling have done? Defiantly claimed at the press conference that, despite gaining only one point in the previous four games, this victory was a validation of his methods. "This just goes to show that if you play exactly the same team with exactly the same tactics every week sooner or later you win a game."

Play-offs? With Bournemouth in freefall and the confidence that should come from a return to winning ways, Orient - like an ageing DJ still hawking his records out to Ibiza every summer - are still very much in the mix.

Leyton Orient 1 Dagenham & Redbridge 1, 22/3/11

A game which... proved that Dagenham & Redbridge aren't simply Orient's bogey team, but more a festering globule of congealed snot that's been stuck up the nose of football since 1992. No offence or anything. But, credit where credit's due, the Daggers did a number on the Os with a textbook away performance: shutting down, pressing, niggling and repeatedly pretending to have head injuries.

The truth is, since Orient stopped being rubbish, opposition teams now actually have to employ tactics other than 'Turn up, we'll probably win' at Brisbane Road. Everyone seems to have clocked on to the fact the team like to play out from the back and refuse to let them do so. Tonight this led to the rather strange phenomenon of the home crowd imploring Jamie Jones to repeatedly boot the ball long. Which is a bit like asking Dame Helen Mirren to star in The Only Way Is Essex.

Moment to savour... Scott McGleish putting away his penalty to rescue a point for the Os. Ben Chorley has been a reliable spot kick merchant this season, but in his absence the veteran striker made no mistake. Apart from celebrating for too long when the team should have been pushing for the winner, that is.

Head in hands moment... A quite staggeringly slack passage of play in the second half in which the Orient defence gifted the ball to Dagenham & Redbridge players over and over again. It's all very generous to give to those less fortunate than yourselves, fellas, but Comic Relief was last week.

King for a day... What would the Orient team do without Dean Cox? Collectively enjoy an evening at Faces Nightclub, Gants Hill, without fear of being booted out for bringing a minor along with them, for starters. But never mind that, for tonight the knee-high winger was Orient's only real spark of creativity in a frustrating game, scampering all over the pitch in search of the ball like a pet gerbil given its first taste of freedom.

Boo boy... Dagenham & Redbridge's ludicrous preening fool of a goalkeeper Tony Roberts, who is so mannered and self-aware he appears to be labouring under the impression he is starring in his own 24-hour a day docu-soap, possibly entitled I'm A Fat, Average Goalkeeper, Get Me Out Of Here.

In the dug out... Has Russell Slade come down with a slight case of the Brisbane Road virus known as 'The Lings'? This debilitating disease renders Orient managers incapable of bringing on substitutes until 70 minutes into the game, no matter what is unfolding in front of them. Adam Chambers, bless him, was a touch ring-rusty and Orient 1-0 down, yet it still took 73 minutes for Big Russ to bring on M'Poku. (Ditto Brentford away). And while the young Belgian is something of a magician, even Paul Daniels might struggle to conjure up two goals in ten minutes every match.

What would Martin Ling have done? Spent the entire game scouting Bas Savage, claiming at the post-match press conference, "No names as yet, but I think I might have found my big striker for next season."

Play-offs? Keep the faith. Orient have always struggled to break down the division's scrappers and should fare better in some of the upcoming games. The play-off race is far from over...

Brentford 2 Leyton Orient 1, 20/3/11

A game in which... Orient dominated possession with slick passing and incisive attacking, creating numerous chances as they did so. Unfortunately this was entirely confined to the second half of the game, by which time they were already 2-0 down. I'm not suggesting the team were asleep in the first half, but Jimmy Smith was wearing pyjamas, Adam Barrett was snoring and Elliot Omozusi was curled up in the foetal position sucking his thumb.

Still, we can hardly blame them - the team have been on a hell of a run. And, like Konnie Huq's career as a TV presenter, everything has to end sooner or later.

Moment to savour... A jaw-dropping Jamie Jones save deep into the second half that saw him palm a fierce ball over the crossbar despite the fact he was already travelling in the wrong direction in mid-air - presumably anticipating a Matthew Spring own goal attempt.

Head in hands moment... The ease with which Myles Weston turned Matthew Spring to set up Brentford's second goal. The Orient midfielder wasn't simply left for dead, but read his last rites, embalmed and cremated too.

King for a day... After a run of games in which he's struggled to make an impact, this was a return to form for Scott McGleish. He made so much of a nuisance of himself in the second half, Brentford must have felt like they were tasked with babysitting a Red Bull-guzzling toddler.

Boo boy... Gary Alexander, apparently. The former Os striker took a lot of stick from the away fans, not least for his unnecessary cupped ear celebration of his goal. Who do you think you are, Gary, Nicklas Bendtner? (Actually, don't answer that.)

In the dug out... Probably not much else Russ could have done today, save for reminding the team the game started at 3pm, not 4pm. And what's the deal with dropping Terrell Forbes for Elliot Omozusi in the centre of defence?

What would Martin Ling have done? Sung the praises of Brentford's number 29. "Their striker really impressed me," he'd say. "Reminded me of a slightly older Gary Alexander. What? Oh, it was Gary Alexander."

Play-offs? Opposition teams are now clocking on to our tactics (for example, stopping us from playing it out from the back every time Jamie Jones has the ball) but the play-offs remain in our own hands and there's two winnable home games coming up. As Cher once sang through a mouthful of Botox: "Do you believe?"

Leyton Orient 3 Swindon Town 0, 8/2/11

A game in which... Orient were coasting so much it was almost as if they were simply circumnavigating Cornwall, albeit with less danger of being attacked by a scrumpy-fuelled local married to his own sister. Make no mistake, this is a team in formidable form. Over the last few seasons Orient have frequently managed to raise their game against the better sides, only to come undone against the division's lesser lights. Not any more: this was an efficient dismantling of a lacklustre opposition that was done and dusted after just 30 minutes.

Moment to savour... Scotty McGleish's legs have done their fare share of chasing hopeful balls punted upfield by clumping defenders over the years (well, he did play for Barnet), but tonight there was still enough life in them to scamper to the byline in the second half and execute a deft back heel to Dean Cox.

Head in hands moment... Big Russ electing to pass on a set of detailed instructions to Jonathan Tehoue ("Stop falling over") while the ball was still in play, then bollocking the striker for not closing down the defender.

King for a day... Hard to single out one individual in a fine team performance, but let's take this opportunity to sing the praises of another fautless display by Jamie Jones. It's not often that Orient have had a keeper worthy of a song (though Lil Wayne's Drop The World may have been an appropriate soundtrack to the handling ability of Mervyn Day) but the Scouser got a little ditty out of the South Stand tonight and continues to impress.

Boo boy... No one on the pitch, that's for sure, but - in a departure from the normal conventions of fan behaviour - the South Stand began abusing us supporters in the West Stand just because we're taking part in a season-long sponsored silence for charity. Anyway, we're saving our voices for the Arsenal game, when we're fully planning to shout a couple of words of encouragement when the team takes to the pitch, and cheer a bit if we score.

In the dug out... Big Russ started with what he seems to regard as his strongest starting 11 and, once again, got it spot on. It's also great to see that, unlike many previous seasons, we've got real options on the bench, along with Ryan Jarvis too.

What would Martin Ling have done? Claimed that the result proved that he and his team aren't distracted by the forthcoming FA Cup tie with Arsenal. "I'm arshavin none of this talk of distraction," he'd say. "Persie-nally speaking, I think it's just a tired old clichy."

Going down? Absolutely not. Although we have to accept that Swindon showed about as much inspiration as a casting director claiming, "I know just the man for this action role: Jason Statham", this was the performance of an Os team who are looking up the table, not down.

FA Cup Round 1 Replay: Leyton Orient 3 Dagenham & Redbridge 2

A game in which... Orient nearly contrived to throw away a two-goal lead for the third time this season after they were temporarily bamboozled by Dagenham & Redbridge's visionary tactics (lump it up to Bas Savage, see what happens). That said, apart from 15 minutes of madness in the second half when the Os appeared terror-stricken by the sight of the ball repeatedly dropping into the penalty area from great height, this was a relatively decent performance.

Moment to savour... Paul-Jose M'poku's through pass to Alex Revell for Orient's second goal split the Dagenham & Redbridge defence like a chainsaw through butter. Although Charlie Daniels' jinking run to the byline that took out about four Daggers' defenders in the second half was equally as praiseworthy.

Head in hands moment... Lee Butcher's bizarre first-half decision to throw the ball out to Charlie Daniels, despite the fact the left back was surrounded by the entire Dagenham & Redbridge team - including the goalkeeper and substitutes.

King for a day... Chorley was commanding in defence, M'poku a constant threat on the left wing, Daniels put in a great shift and even Jimmy Smith did a couple of things of note, such as... erm... no, it's gone. But man of the match has to go to that old trooper Scott McGleish, whose tireless running, two goals and salmon-swimming-upstream headers ensured the Os reached round two safely. Not bad for a 48-year-old.

Boo boy... No one really, though sadly Jonathan Tehoue's cameos are looking less and less impressive as time goes on.

In the dug out... Big Russ repsonded to a fan's complaint about James Walker - who'd just spooned a cross into the crowd - with a barrel-load of invective. Fair enough, Russ, you've certainly showed a lot of faith in Walker. Oh, hang on...

What would Martin Ling have done? Responded to Adam Chambers' injury by simply playing 10 men from the start. "There's no one who can replace Chambo," he'd say, defiantly, "except maybe Derek Duncan, and there's an important reserves game coming up so I don't want to risk him."

On the way to Wembley? It's Droylsden in the second round, and while it's never easy playing away from home against a Sunday pub team, the Os should be able to make it to round three. After that, well, who knows how many we'll lose by if we draw a Premier League team?

The top ten Leyton Orient videos on YouTube

10. Chris Tate silences the boo boys

The background: It's April 2001, play-off chasing Orient are 1-0 down at Barnet. Manager Tommy Taylor makes a substitution but, shockingly, it's not leading scorer Carl Griffiths coming on, but headless chicken-impersonator Chris Tate.

What happens: Tate, after being booed by his own supporters, scores two goals, the second a breathtaking overhead kick, to win the game for Orient.

Watch closely for: Miniature midfielder John Martin giving away a penalty at the start of the clip. Thankfully Orient have moved on and never sign players under 4ft 9in anymore... Erm, Dean Cox anyone?

9. Loick Pires shows the nation what he's all about

The background: Manager Martin Ling and then, inexplicably, Geraint Williams appear to be labouring under the impression that Loick Pires is a professional footballer.

What happens: Loick proves otherwise in a Soccer AM crossbar challenge.

Watch closely for: Jamie Jones demonstrating he's probably the best striker at the club.

8. A blaster from Bill Roffey

The background: It's Christmas 1973 and Orient are in the promotion places at the top of Division Two. Full back Bill Roffey is playing his ninth game for the club.   

What happens: Roffey fires an exorcet from 35 yards to give Orient a 1-0 win, the beginning of an 11-year stint at Brisbane Road where he became a true fans' favourite.  

Watch closely for: Ricky Heppolette's mazy run - albeit one that takes him smack bang into the nearest defender.

7. The dawn of a new era - well, almost - at Southend

The background: It's August 2007 and Martin Ling has got rid of virtually the entire squad from the previous season. The first game of the new season at Southend introduces fans to the likes of Mkandawire, Thornton, Daniels and Boyd.

What happens: Boyd pops up with minutes to go to give Orient a glorious 2-1 win and begin an unbeaten run that sees the Os top of League One well into November. Sadly, it didn't last.

Watch closely for: Efe Echanomi's trickery in the build up to the goal.

6. Ooooh... A Terry Howard hatrick

The background: Whitbread, Ludden, Bellamy, Warren... Yes, Orient had a pretty average team in the 1992-93 season. But it did have crowd favourite Terry Howard, who was playing in midfield when Brisbane Road welcomed Mansfield Town in November.

What happens: The Os turn over the mighty Mansfield, with three goals from Terry Howard. He was rewarded with the sack two seasons later.

Listen closely for: The crowd chanting "Ooh Terry Howard! Ooh Terry Howard!" as he runs up to take the penalty.

5. Long hair, a mudbath and an amazing comeback

The background: The fifth round of the FA Cup in 1972 saw Orient draw top Divsion One side Chelsea and, inevitably go 2-0 down.

What happens: Phil Hoadley, Mickey Bullock and Barrie Fairbrother score in a 3-2 win that remains one of the Os most famous and satisfying victories.

Watch closely for: The state of the pitch. After Chelsea's second goal it takes all the strength of keeper Ray Goddard to prise himself out of the mudbath.

4. Tehoue Tehoue rocks Arsenal

The background: It's March 2011 and valiant Orient are seconds away from a respectable 1-0 defeat to a star-studded Arsenal team in the fifth round of the FA Cup.

What happens: Super-sub Jonathan Tehoue displays all the speed off the mark of an ailing oil tanker to bamboozle the Arsenal defence and slot in a goal that rocks Brisbane Road to its foundations.

Watch closely for: Fans on the balcony of one of the corner flats celebrating wildly by holding up the letters OIEN.

3. Matt Lockwood's 13-minute hatrick staves off relegation

The background: It's September 2006 and Orient are already looking nailed on for relegation. They're 3-0 down at home to Gillingham with 13 minutes left on the clock.

What happens: Figuring that the likes of Brian Saah were hardly going to get the Os out of trouble, left back Matt Lockwood takes matters into his own hands and scores three goals, securing a vital point.

Watch closely for: The delightful reverse pass laid on by the underrated Daryl McMahon for the third goal.

 














2. 14 seconds of madness as Orient secure promotion

The background: May 2006. Orient need to match Grimbsy's result to secure promotion, but are drawing 2-2 with Oxford while the Mariners are 1-0 up against Northampton. It's four minutes into added time.

What happens: Just as news comes through of a Northampton equaliser, Gary Alexander threads a curling ball into the box. Thankfully it falls to Lee Steele rather than the equally well-placed Jabo Ibehre, who doubtlessly would have spooned the ball over the bar off his elbow. Steele makes no mistake.

Listen closely for: Commentator Andrew Buonocore virtually vomiting up his internal organs with excitement.

1. "Bring ya dinner"

The background: February 1995 and Orient are second from bottom in Division Two and losing 1-0 at home to Blackpool. Co-manager John Sitton beings his half-time team talk...

What happens: Where to begin? In two glorious minutes of managerial meltdown Sitton sacks defender Terry Howard and offers to fight two other players.

Watch closely for: One of the greatest sentences in football history: "And you can pair up if you like, and you can fucking pick someone else to hold your hand, and you can bring your fucking dinner, because by the time I've finished with you, you'll fucking need it."

Honourary mentions

 

Sitton may be the obvious choice for number one but, hey, it's probably the only video that non-Orient fans regularly enjoy on YouTube and we should take whatever recognition we can. The entire Orient: Club For A Fiver documentary is now on YouTube in five parts. And if you're pushed for time, simply get the key Sitton quotes to the the tune of the Prodigy instead. Or, if you prefer your music to be spirit-crushingly awful (David Gray fans, I'm talking to you) here's one former Orient player rapping.
 
Matt Lockwood's hatrick against Gillingham was of course one of the highlights of his career - the other was his 30-yard goal against Hull City in the 2001/02 play-off semi-final, which kicks off this rather over-the-top tribute to the frizzy-haired left-back, compiled by someone named, spookily, mattlockwood3. You can also enjoy him scoring against Southend in 1998.

This bust-up during an Orient v Brentford game in 1991 is also pretty entertaining viewing, not least for Steve Castle getting tasty with his right fist. The last word, however, goes to a Millwall fan, who has this to say about the travelling Orient support...

Leyton Orient 3 Exeter City 0, 28/8/10

A game in which... Orient began the game like a ravenous mouse out to devour Exeter's Swiss cheese of a defence. Still, when an opposition teamsheet bears the name Billy Jones - the second Matt Lockwood understudy to return to Brisbane Road in a week - there's always going to be chances. Eventually Orient took three of them in a convincing and comfortable win.

Moment to savour... Dean Cox's celebration after his sumptuous goal, in which he was greeted by Russell Slade in the manner of a proud grandfather about to reward his six-year-old grandson with a packet of Werthers Originals for coming third in the school egg-and-spoon race.

Head in hands moment... It's not often that Scotty McGleish misses the target from six yards with his head - that's Ryan Jarvis's job - but he did so in the first half, before making amends in the second.

King for a day... Chorley, Revell and McGleish all shone, but it's hard to look beyond another all-action display by captain Stephen Dawson, who nearly scored a wonder volley in the first minute and was class throughout.

Boo boy... Elliot Omozusi appears to be following in the tradition of sporadically ponderous Orient right backs - Stephen Purches, Justin Miller, Donny Barnard - and while mostly solid during this game, still has a bit of convincing to do.

In the dug out... Big Russ has developed a habit of looking to the heavens - or, more specifically, directly at Barry Hearn sat in the exec seats - whenever Orient score. Presumably when we next concede he'll hide behind Kevin Nugent and squeak, "It was his fault, it was his fault."  

You're supposed to be away... According to their scarves, Exeter City are the 'Pride of Devon'. Well, there isn't much else to be proud of in the county (Barnstaple town centre? Traffic jams on the A30?) Still, the Grecians at least showed a bit of gallows humour by launching into "We can see you sneaking out" while 3-0 down.

What would Martin Ling have done? Taken the opportunity of being 3-0 up to make a final attempt to 'blood' Derek Duncan, claiming "He's got a big career ahead of him."

Going down? Well, if Orient can't beat Exeter at home then there really is no hope. But they did - and with some style - so still look nailed on for the safety of 20th spot.

Supporting Orient - it's about managing your expectations

Another August, another Leyton Orient season ticket in hand. This year I considered throwing the £325 straight down the drain - cut out the middle man. Instead, these are the hopes I hold for 2010/11:

1. Promotion to the Championship
Just kidding. The experience of 2007/08 told us that isn't going to happen (top of the league in November but still only pulling crowds of 5000-odd, no mid-season investment etc). Instead - call me an old romantic - I yearn to be still mathmatically in contention for a play-off position come March.

2. Someone scores more than 20 goals in the season
I was six when Peter Kitchen scored 29 goals in the 1977/78 season. If I'd known that in the subsequent 32 years not one player would even get to 20 league goals in a single campaign, I'd have supported bloody Arsenal.

3. Orient stop conceding goals in added time at the end of the first half
This is really annoying.

4. Orient actually win games by more than one goal
This only happened six times last season - I know, I just checked. Incredibly, it only happened six times in the 2005/06 promotion season too. Seriously, my heart can't take too many of those 'backs to the wall' final 10 minutes.

5. Ryan Jarvis gets a simple chance in front of goal, and puts it away
I am so over 'non-scoring' Orient strikers who retain their place in the team because they 'work hard'. Give me a bone-lazy, skilful finisher - let's call him 'Adam Boyd' for the sake of argument - any day of the week.

6. Scott McGleish protects his head
I can't remember many games in which Scotty didn't go down with a head injury at some point - usually in the first five minutes. Possibly this is some sort of psychological ploy to get the referee on side. Otherwise, seriously, Scotty - you're 48, take it easy.

7. Avoiding relegation
Sometimes as an Orient fan you have to think big - and I'm not talking Peter Shilton in 1996/97. Sadly, for us, thinking big is aspiring to avoid relegation. Still, come on you Os...