Top 10 Brisbane Road moments of 2011

Though Robin Van Persie apologists may disagree, football runs in seasons, not calendar years.

Nonetheless, 2011 hasn't been a bad year for Os fans, featuring a 13-match unbeaten run, memorable victories over the likes of Sheffield Wednesday and Charlton, an FA Cup odyssey that culminated in a famous draw against Arsenal at Brisbane Road and, of course, the departure of Ryan Jarvis.

Here, then, are my top 10 moments of the year...

10. Ince goes off the boil   
Leyton Orient 2 Notts County 0, 5 March 2011

Orient's dream FA Cup run had come to end three days before this fixture and as such it wouldn't have been a surprise to see the players exhibiting the sort of humdinging hangover that used to regularly accompany Sean Thornton to training sessions. But not so: the Os put in a professional and convincing performance to ease past Notts County, which so incensed their manager Paul Ince that he was moved to throw his half-time tea over Kevin Dearden and offer him out. Presumably if the Os' goalkeeping coach had taken him up on his offer, Ince would have bottled it at the last minute and sent Gareth Southgate to fight him instead.

9. The Beast bites back   
Leyton Orient 3 Exeter 0, 10 December 2011

Jonathan Tehoue spent so much time digging Orient out of holes last season that he could easily forge a new career as a miner if it wasn't for all the actual hard work involved. After a hand injury had kept him out for the opening part of the season the French striker reminded fans why he's such an important player to have on the bench. With the Os 1-0 up but the game far from over, he trundled up the pitch and nodded in Kevin Lisbie's cross with his very first touch of the game.

8. George's greased lightning  
Leyton Orient 3 Bromley 0, 12 November 2011

Not since the days when Martin Ling would sprint towards his phone whenever a striker over the height of 5ft 6in came on the market has Brisbane Road been witness to any true bursts of speed. Enter George Porter, who showed what he's capable of against non-league Bromley by simply knocking the ball his ahead of himself near the halfway line, then continuing his blistering charge all the way to goal to put Orient 2-0 up.

7. Butcher shows his guts!   
Leyton Orient 2 Preston North End 1, 1 October 2011

The fact that Orient - having failed to win a single one of their first 10 league fixtures of the season - were leading Preston 2-1 at half-time was a miracle enough in itself. But when the Lilywhites were awarded a spot kick in the second half fans would have been less surprised to see Lee Butcher part the Red Sea, feed the five thousand and raise Lazarus from the dead than actually save Graham Alexander's penalty. Butch had just let in 14 consecutive spot kicks in a shoot out against Dagenham & Redbridge; Alexander is one of football's most deadly 12-yard bandits. But save it he did, giving Orient the platform to go on and record their first victory of the season.


6. Lis is more!   
Leyton Orient 1 Sheffield United 1, 22 October 2011

Orient have a lot of difficulty winning games with 11 players on the pitch, so when it's 10 against 12 they really have very little chance of getting a result. Yes, referee Oliver Langford certainly didn't make things easy after a series of decisions so nonsensical that they could easily have been mistaken for the plot of Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol. All hail Kevin Lisbie, then, who tucked a loose ball away in the sixth minute of added time to snatch a point for the Os and send Brisbane Road into delirium.

5. M'Poku rocket rocks Latics   
Leyton Orient 1 Oldham 0, 12 March 2011

By March, Orient were eight points off the play-offs with four games in hand, but were finding it hard to break down a resilient Oldham side. With 10 minutes to go Russell Slade turned to his bench and realised that he'd accidentally left his best player out of the side for the 15th consecutive week. But no matter, for Spurs loanee Paul-Jose M'Poku only needed a few minutes to work his magic, and with a Shazam! and an Abracadabra! unleashed an unstoppable strike with the outside of his boot that gave Orient three invaluable points at the death.


4. Great Scott! Four-star Os overrun Owls  
Leyton Orient 4 Sheffield Wednesday 0, 22 January 2011

When one-time Premier League residents Sheffield Wednesday came-a-calling at Brisbane Road in January they faced an Orient side who'd only just hauled themselves out of the relegation zone. Alan Irvine's team talk probably went something like: "Don't exert yourselves too much lads, we've got some important games coming up. Just knock it around a bit and wait for their right back to spoon the ball into his own net." Unfortunately for the Owls they found themselves on the receiving end of an inspired performance by the home side, capped by veteran Scott McGleish's glancing header that sealed a deserved 4-0 victory.

3. Big Ben chimes time for Charlton  
Leyton Orient 1 Charlton Athletic 0, 31 December 2011

The final day of 2011 and there was something of a party spirit at Brisbane Road. No, the Peter Allen Cafe wasn't offering a free soup of the day (always tomato) with any purchase of a pizza pod, but rather Leyton Orient were giving league leaders Charlton the runaround. The fact that they'd only put away one of their countless chances meant a nervy final few minutes, but when Rhoys Wiggins looked to have equalised for the visitors big brave Ben Chorley was on hand to majestically block the shot on the line, allowing the Os to see in the New Year in style.


2. Jar-Jar sinks Peterborough 
Leyton Orient 2 Peterborough 1, 22 April 2011

Incredibly, with four games left of the 2010/11 season Orient were still in with a shout of reaching the play-offs, though a win against promotion-chasing Peterborough was essential to keep hopes alive. With ten minutes to go the scores were level and Russell Slade must have been ready to throw in the towel. Instead he threw in Ryan Jarvis, which was tantamount to the same thing. But in the sixth minute of injury time the former Norwich man - who'd hardly played a game all season - defied all known laws of the universe to rise majestically above the Peterborough defence to meet Jason Crowe's cross and nod the Os to victory.


1. Tehoue shoots down Gunners
Leyton Orient 1 Arsenal 1, 20 February 2011

Arsene Wenger has an encyclopedic knowledge of French football, but even he was unaware of a fellow countryman by the name of Jonathan Tehoue who once lumbered around the playing fields of Europe like an ailing ocean liner on one last voyage before being put out of commission. Tehoue found his home in east London and, for all his shortcomings over 90 minutes, there is no striker in the country deadlier from the bench - as Arsenal discovered to their cost when he scored in the 90th minute of the FA Cup fifth round tie. A packed Brisbane Road was rocked to its rafters.

Was 2011 as good as 2010? Take a look at the Top Ten Brisbane Road Moments of 2010 and decide...

The top ten Leyton Orient players of 2010/11

At the conclusion of most seasons at Leyton Orient it's difficult to think of one player who's excelled over the campaign. Not this time, which is why I've selected - in reverse order - the top ten players of 2010/11...

10. Andrew Whing

When it comes to decent right-backs, Leyton Orient's heritage is about as distinguished as Jodie Marsh's wardrobe. Enter Andrew Whing, dead ringer for EastEnders' Max Branning and owner of a chin so big it's got it's own postcode. Yes, rival right-back Elliot Omozusi may be slightly more comfortable on the ball - not least when he's plucking it out of the net after his customary once-a-game howler - but Whing provided the grit this season, regularly clattering into unsuspecting left-wingers and driving forward like a steroid-pumped gingerbread man.
More on Andrew Whing >

9. Paul-Jose M'Poku
Every now and again at Brisbane Road a player comes along with such dazzling skills that resident managers are left with no choice but to inexplicably leave them on the bench every game. Such was the plight of under-19 Belgian international and Spurs loanee Paul-Jose M'Poku. Hartlepool United's defenders are still in therapy trying to come to terms with the outright humiliation they were subjected to on the young winger's home debut, and M'Poku continued to provide flashes of inspiration in the 15 minutes he was allowed on the pitch each match. Essentially, stuff happened when M'Poku played. Just think what may have been if he'd been in the starting line-up...
More on Paul-Jose M'Poku >

8. Stephen Dawson
Every team needs an engine and this season Orient's was Stephen Dawson. The diminutive Irishman was the master of tirelessly motoring around the pitch, stopping only to pick up needless yellow cards and to throw himself to the ground in the penalty area as if scythed down by a poltergeist. Dawson excelled in the home leg against Arsenal, where the Premier League side subjected him to a particularly cruel 90 minutes of piggy-in-the-middle - though they rarely broke through his expertly-marshalled ranks.
More on Stephen Dawson >

7. Ben Chorley
Every lower league club needs a Ben Chorley, an uncompromising central defender who pulls his shorts up to somewhere beneath his chest and who's not afraid to stick his face into the path of a flying boot. But our Ben Chorley is so much more than a jumped-up hard man, with his positional sense and reading of the game ensuring Orient are rarely caught out at the back. Once per match he embarks on a lung-busting run upfield, where he is invariably dispossessed just outside the opposition box and has to run all the way back again. This season Chorley also turned out to be Orient's most reliable penalty taker since Matt Lockwood.
More on Ben Chorley >

6. Scott McGleish
You might think that after 20 years of chasing hopeful punts upfield for the likes of Barnet, Northampton and Cambridge United, Scott McGleish's legs might have had a quiet word in his ear and suggested that perhaps he might like to open a pub or something. Not so, for this season the veteran striker continued to cause nuisance to opposition defences like a late thirtysomething who keeps turning up at student parties and insisting on playing REM on the stereo. A true pro, McGleish's 17 goals were just reward for a fine season's work.
More on Scott McGleish >

5. Alex Revell
Alex Revell is the mythical big striker Martin Ling used to have wild, salivating dreams about. With a chiselled jaw and ice-white teeth he could land a bit part in a daytime American soap if the football thing doesn't work out, although there's no chance of that in the near future because Revell was a revelation this season. Sixteen goals isn't to be sneered at, but over and above that his unsettling presence, commitment and unselfish attitude was a major factor in Orient's success.
More on Alex Revell >

 
4. Jimmy Smith
What happened to Jimmy Smith this season? Once a player so bland you could have covered him in Tabasco sauce and he'd still have had absolutely no bite, he somehow transformed himself into a midfield goal-machine and one of the driving forces behind Orient's push up the table. Post-Christmas, whenever Orient created a chance it seemed to fall to Smith, and the former Chelsea man rarely missed them.
More on Jimmy Smith >

3. Charlie Daniels
When Charlie Daniels first arrived at Orient on loan in the 2007/08 season he showed a fair degree of promise, and if it wasn't for the fact he could neither defend or attack he could have been quite some player. Well, now Daniels is that player: reliable in defence and a real threat thundering down the left wing, with 15 assists over the season to prove it. This campaign Daniels added the ability to cut inside to his repertoire, a tactic that would have been highly damaging to oppositions if it wasn't for the fact his right foot is about as useful as an inflatable dartboard.
More on Charlie Daniels >

2. Jamie Jones
It's been a real pleasure this season to have a goalkeeper who is actually able to kick the ball properly, who doesn't flap at crosses, who isn't susceptible to low shots to his right, who commands his area and who doesn't throw the ball out directly to opposition strikers in key games... Oh, ok, strike the last point, but Jones' skill between the sticks has been one of the major reasons behind Orient's success this campaign, routinely digging the defence out of six-foot deep holes with his lightening reactions and breathtaking agility.
More on Jamie Jones >

1. Dean Cox
My player of the season for 2010/11, one who boasts the ability to square up to any hulking lower league hard man and fearlessly look him straight in the knee. Yep, Tiny packs a whole lot of attitude into the body of a medium-sized schoolgirl and adds a touch of genuine class to the Orient team as well as being the creative inspiration for much of their attacking play. Indeed, his delivery is so good the scouts watching him this season were from Royal Mail, DHL and the maternity unit at Homerton Hospital. You can't argue with 12 goals and 22 assists over the course of a season - although Cox himself would probably try, straight after he'd started a fight in an empty room.
More on Dean Cox >

Leyton Orient 0 Tranmere Rovers 3, 1/5/11

A game which... for Orient was much like strutting up to the Royal Wedding reception thinking you've got an outside chance of pulling Pippa Middleton, only to end the night staring desolately into your pint glass while Princess Eugenie yabbers inanely in your ear. Yes, the play-off dream is over and in truth, Orient looked jaded, allowing Tranmere - playing the match free of any implications - to boss the show. But let this not detract from what has been a season to savour, one that'll live long in the memories of fans.

Moment to savour... It's the delighful Cheery Os dance troupe, whose routine was once again transformed into a racy wet T-shirt performance by the mischievous groundsman who gave them a good soaking via the underground sprinkler system. Just think, if Prince William had spent more time in Faces Nightclub, Gants Hill, he could have been taking one of these hotties up the aisle rather than the prim Kate Middleton. Your loss, Wills.

Head in hands moment... When mini-firecracker Dean Cox called the assistant referee a 'super-c**t', evoking images of a comic book villain that dresses mainly in black and tries to bring down the world by incorrectly calling throw-in decisions and flagging Jonathan Tehoue offside.

King for 20 minutes... For the majority of the game, Orient's attacks were about as incisive as a Fearne Cotton interview. But when Paul-Jose M'Poku ambled onto the pitch with his loping cowboy gait, suddenly - as so often has happened this season - the home side were invigorated. The young Belgian helped create chance after chance and his skills will be sorely missed once he returns to Spurs.

Boo boy... Everyone in an Orient shirt played their hearts out - even Jonathan Tehoue could be seen running all over the pitch as if his contract depended on it - so this is no time for criticism. In fact, I salute each and every player for the effort they've put in this season. Except Aaron Brown, of course.

In the dug out... Russell Slade began proceedings with a little joke. No, not giving Ryan Jarvis a place in the starting line up, but appearing in a wig. It's been a real pleasure to have a manager as passionate, astute and committed as Slade this season, so let's hope it's not a case of hair today, gone tomorrow.

What would Martin Ling have done? Gone for broke in a do-or-die fixture by playing a midfield four of Adam Chambers, Paul Terry, Donny Barnard and a 6ft garden fence. "People say I'm too cautious, but my middle name is danger," he'd say defiantly. "Well, actually it's Nathan, but you get my point."

Next season? Can Orient go one better in 2011/12 and actually make the play-offs? Well, it won't be easy, but if the lowly daughter of a flight attendent can one day become Queen simply by parading up and down in her underwear a bit then there is always hope. Either way, it's sure to be a thrilling ride.

Leyton Orient 0 Carlisle United 0, 12/4/11

A game in which... Orient subjected Carlisle to the sort of onslaught you'd expect to see if the entire might of the US military decided to wage war against a platoon of Lego soldiers. Unfortunately this took place only in the final five minutes of the game, when the Os had a number of gilt-edged chances to steal the three points. Before that each team had spells of dominance, though in truth it was Carlisle who looked more likely to win the game, only for an inspired Jamie Jones and the underside of the crossbar to stand in their way.

Moment to savour... Jamie Jones's first half save in which he managed to palm a deflected ball around the post despite travelling in the wrong direction. It was one of a number of classy stops by the Orient number one, whose Charlton nightmare is now well and truly consigned to a cut-price DVD entitled Hilarious Goalkeeping Blunders Volume 76, narrated by Bob Mills.

Head in hands moment... When, in the dying minutes, Paul-Jose M'Poku sent over a delightful cross at about knee-height, meaning that the onrushing Dean Cox had no choice but to head it, and somehow managed to spoon it over the bar from all of three yards.

King for a day... Presumably Elliot Omozusi must have got a heavy knock on the head at the start of the second half, causing his brain to be temporarily tricked into thinking it was inhabiting the body of an actual footballer. Time and time again the centre-back turned his man inside his own penalty box and then sent Orient on the attack with precision-guided passes to Charlie Daniels. What next for Omozusi - heading the ball anywhere other than directly up in the air?

Boo boy... No one in particular, but let's slap the wrists of Stephen Dawson for pointlessly getting himself booked in the first few minutes for backchat, rendering himself unable to tackle properly for the rest of the game. And Adam Chambers too, for a Rory McIlroy-sized choke in front of goal at the death. I'm not saying the chance was easy, but if it were a barmaid it would be giving punters a hand job out the back for a fiver a pop.

In the dug out... At last, Big Russ gives Paul-Jose M'Poku more than 12 minutes to work his magic! Unfortunately for the majority of his half an hour on the pitch the Belgian winger was playing out of position in the centre of attack. But never mind that, for at times this season Orient have played some football that is so divine it's almost impregnanted a couple of virgins in the South Stand. And for that we have Russell Slade to thank.

What would Martin Ling have done? Given a rousing, ball-busting pre-match speech to fire the team up for a final push for the play-offs. 'I quoted Churchill,' he'd say, proudly. 'I've always loved that little dog in the insurance adverts.'

Play-offs? Well, since five of the last six meetings between these sides at Brisbane Road ended in stalemate, this one had a draw written all over it right from the start. Points-wise we're not out of it, but with the luck not flowing, a tired squad and some key injuries, it seems there's now more chance Kate Middleton will rock up to her wedding on a Harley-Davidson than Orient will make the play-offs. Still, don't give up hope just yet...

Leyton Orient 0 Southampton 2, 9/4/11

A game in which... Orient huffed and puffed but couldn't blow the house down. Southampton, remember, are one of the division's big bad wolves and have the sort of resources that could buy a whole team of Paul-Jose M'Pokus - or over 500 Ryan Jarvises. The Os put in a feisty and committed performance and had the better of the second half, but just couldn't get the ball in the net - at least not with linesman's flag down. Yes, Jimmy Smith has now had three goals disallowed in the space of the week. He's so out of luck that he'll probably go to Faces Nightclub, Gants Hill, tonight and inadvertently take home the only girl there who doesn't put out.

Moment to savour... Scott McGleish's acrobatic volley in the second half, in which he hooked a ball coming over his shoulder towards the goal while suspended in mid-air. The physics police have been alerted that there has been a possible infringement of the laws of gravity.

Head in hands moment... Southampton's first goal, in which Elliot Omozusi inexplicably ducked under an innocuous ball as it came in from the left to allow Ricky Lambert to score. It's anyone's guess as to what happened in the defender's brain, but I'd wager he had a momentary flashback to the days when school bullys would repeatedly fire elastic bands at his head in double maths.

King for a day... No one played a blinder so it's worth highlighting the continued good form of Charlie Daniels. When he arrived at the club his decision-making was so poor it was eligible for numerous government hand-outs. Not any more - the former Spurs man is reliable at the back and a constant threat going forward. He even uses his right foot these days too - though admittedly only for standing on.

Boo boy... Jonathan Tehoue. Admittedly when the French striker is in full flight his pace and strength make him a bit of a handful. Unfortunately today he displayed all the speed off the mark of an ageing oil tanker and was about as useful in the air as a vertigo-afflicted flight attendent.

In the dug out... While it might be all too predictable for fans to call for increased use of a flair player, it is somewhat bemusing how little faith Russell Slade seems to have in Paul-Jose M'Poku. Perhaps the manager needs him on the bench to babysit Tom Carroll, but surely he'd be more useful out on the pitch?

What would Martin Ling have done? Reacted to Jonathan Tehoue's awful performance by reading the player the riot act. "I told him that if things don't improve I'll definitely drop him in about eight games' time," he'd say at a defiant post-match press conference.

Play-offs? Thanks to Bournemouth's terrible form and Rochdale's loss to Colchester, Orient still have exactly the same chance of making the play-offs as they did before today's game. That is, none whatsoever. Just kidding. Keep believing...

The 10 reasons behind Orient's season to rememeber

Although the last couple of games have represented something of a setback, the fact that Orient are still in with a fighting chance of a play-off place going into April means this season has been the most successful since promotion in 2005/06. Here's why...

1. Physical presence
In football, size isn’t everything - otherwise Loick Pires would be playing for Barcelona. However, when 4ft 2in midfielder Dean Cox scored against Orient with a header - yes, a header - when playing for Brighton in 2007 it became clear that after a decade or so of fielding teams that could be out-muscled by the under-11s from the local comprehensive, it was probably time to add a bit of height and weight to the side. This season, then, we’ve got the likes of Chorley, Revell, Spring and Tehoue to compensate for Orient’s traditionally miniscule offering.

2. Tactical flexibility
Martin Ling, to be fair, had a couple of different formations up his sleeve. One was 4-4-2 with Sean Thornton played out of position, the other was 4-4-2 with Sean Thornton on the bench. Russell Slade, however, has switched from 4-4-2 to 5-4-1 to a midfield diamond as situations dictated, even mid-game. Losing to Droylsden in the FA Cup and down to 10 men, he threw caution to the wind and started the second half with three strikers - and then look what happened.


Paul Terry

3. A goal-scoring midfield
Orient has a proud recent history of non-scoring midfielders: Andy Harris, Billy Beall, David Hunt, Scott Canham… Paul Terry, meanwhile, had more chance of scoring at Faces Nightclub, Gants Hill, than he did of netting a goal - and with a face like that, that’s really saying something. This season, though, Cox, Smith, Dawson and Spring already have 22 between them, with many more likely to follow.

4. Loanees
The ability to play the loan market is a key requirement of lower league managers, and by and large Orient have been pretty hopeless at it. Bringing in Sam Parkin in 2008, for example, was like going to Sainsburys to buy a sirloin steak but coming back with a bag of mouldy Brussels sprouts. This season the loanees - in particular M’Poku, Whing, Kane and Carroll - have played a key part in the success of the side.

5. A bench
Part of Martin Ling must have died inside every time he turned round to his bench to see who he could bring on to change things, only to be faced with Derek Duncan, Loick Pires or Donny Barnard grinning at him inanely. It was worse for Geraint Williams - he only had James Scowcroft. These days, with the option of cameos from Tehoue, M’Poku, Kane and Chambers, we’ve never had it so good. Ryan Jarvis is on the bench too, mind, but someone needs to hand out the water bottles.

6. The goalkeeper
When it comes to the men between the sticks, Orient’s heritage is about as distinguished as Kerry Katona at a royal wedding. Historically it’s been a problem position - until this season, that is, when the young Jamie Jones has been a marvel on the goal line. We’ll struggle to hold on to him for too much longer, so enjoy it while it lasts.

7. A meritocracy
In previous regimes, some favoured players - let’s call them Adam Chambers, for the sake of argument - commanded a starting place in the side whether unfit, injured, out of form or missing a limb. As good a player as Chambers is, Slade’s decision to give an extended run to Jimmy Smith has paid dividends, and the manager's meritocratic approach to team selection as a whole has ensure that it’s always the 11 players in form taking to the pitch every week.

8. Tiny Cox
While it’s perhaps unfair to single out one player in a season of great team performances, an exception has to be made for the man who is indistinguishable from his own Subbuteo replica. With eight goals and 20 assists so far, Cox is the player Shane Tudor would like to have been, with a talent that JJ Melligan could only dream about in wild fantasies, probably also featuring unicorns and free Irish whiskey.

9. The big striker
Martin Ling used to spend most of the closed season threatening to bring in a ‘big striker’ while surreptitiously making bids for Julian Joachim, Luke Rogers and Verne Troyer. Russell Slade, meanwhile, brought in Alex Revell with the minimum of fuss, and the former Southend man’s presence - not to mention his goal scoring - has been vital to the team this season.

10. Kevin Nugent
While Russell Slade gets all the plaudits and his own South Stand chant, let’s not forget the contribution of Kevin Nugent. Not many other coaches in football could so artfully stand on the touchline with a hangdog expression for 70 minutes before spurring into action to inform the substitutes who they should be marking at corners. Kev is Orient through and through - apart from his many years at Plymouth, Bristol City, Cardiff and Swansea - and long may he continue. 

This feature originally appeared in the Leyton Orientear

Leyton Orient 1 Dagenham & Redbridge 1, 22/3/11

A game which... proved that Dagenham & Redbridge aren't simply Orient's bogey team, but more a festering globule of congealed snot that's been stuck up the nose of football since 1992. No offence or anything. But, credit where credit's due, the Daggers did a number on the Os with a textbook away performance: shutting down, pressing, niggling and repeatedly pretending to have head injuries.

The truth is, since Orient stopped being rubbish, opposition teams now actually have to employ tactics other than 'Turn up, we'll probably win' at Brisbane Road. Everyone seems to have clocked on to the fact the team like to play out from the back and refuse to let them do so. Tonight this led to the rather strange phenomenon of the home crowd imploring Jamie Jones to repeatedly boot the ball long. Which is a bit like asking Dame Helen Mirren to star in The Only Way Is Essex.

Moment to savour... Scott McGleish putting away his penalty to rescue a point for the Os. Ben Chorley has been a reliable spot kick merchant this season, but in his absence the veteran striker made no mistake. Apart from celebrating for too long when the team should have been pushing for the winner, that is.

Head in hands moment... A quite staggeringly slack passage of play in the second half in which the Orient defence gifted the ball to Dagenham & Redbridge players over and over again. It's all very generous to give to those less fortunate than yourselves, fellas, but Comic Relief was last week.

King for a day... What would the Orient team do without Dean Cox? Collectively enjoy an evening at Faces Nightclub, Gants Hill, without fear of being booted out for bringing a minor along with them, for starters. But never mind that, for tonight the knee-high winger was Orient's only real spark of creativity in a frustrating game, scampering all over the pitch in search of the ball like a pet gerbil given its first taste of freedom.

Boo boy... Dagenham & Redbridge's ludicrous preening fool of a goalkeeper Tony Roberts, who is so mannered and self-aware he appears to be labouring under the impression he is starring in his own 24-hour a day docu-soap, possibly entitled I'm A Fat, Average Goalkeeper, Get Me Out Of Here.

In the dug out... Has Russell Slade come down with a slight case of the Brisbane Road virus known as 'The Lings'? This debilitating disease renders Orient managers incapable of bringing on substitutes until 70 minutes into the game, no matter what is unfolding in front of them. Adam Chambers, bless him, was a touch ring-rusty and Orient 1-0 down, yet it still took 73 minutes for Big Russ to bring on M'Poku. (Ditto Brentford away). And while the young Belgian is something of a magician, even Paul Daniels might struggle to conjure up two goals in ten minutes every match.

What would Martin Ling have done? Spent the entire game scouting Bas Savage, claiming at the post-match press conference, "No names as yet, but I think I might have found my big striker for next season."

Play-offs? Keep the faith. Orient have always struggled to break down the division's scrappers and should fare better in some of the upcoming games. The play-off race is far from over...

The Top 10 Leyton Orient loanees

Over the years, loanees have played a valuable role for Leyton Orient - not least as a way of covering up the fact the contracted players aren't any good.

This season, however, we're in the happy position where our loanees - players such as Paul-Jose M'Poku, Tom Carroll, Harry Kane and, before he signed permanently, Andrew Whing - have augmented an already effective squad. So, in tribute to these and other loaness before them, I've compiled a top ten of borrowed talent.

But first a disclaimer. I've only included players who only ever appeared for Orient on loan, rather than those who then went on to sign permanent contracts. Otherwise I could have counted the likes of Steve Castle, Scott McGleish and Ryan Jarvis. Not that Jarvis would have got anywhere near the list, of course.

The list is based on the loanees' impact while at Orient, rather than their overall talent. (So no Gary Hooper, who only played two full games for us.) Also, I haven't really done any proper research or anything, so it's mostly skewed towards the last few seasons and I've probably forgotten someone. Nonetheless, here goes...

10. Jordan Spence (West Ham)
21 games from November 2008 to May 2009

The hole he was filling... The huge crater-sized one next to Tamika Mkandawire in central defence that would otherwise have been filled by Luke Ashworth or a limp lettuce - same difference.
Key contribution... Alongside Mkandawire, the young West Ham loanee provided a touch of class in defence as part of new manager Geraint Williams' rearguard action that saw Orient win nine in 14 games from February 2009, staving off relegation for another year.
Where is he now? After one single appearance for West Ham and another loan spell at Scunthorpe, Spence is now on loan at Bristol City.

9. Luke Summerfield (Plymouth Argyle)
15 games from September to December 2009

The hole he was filling... The one created in midfield previously filled by Jason Demetriou's ego, which had inflated to such gargantuan proportions after one scout from Charlton came to watch him one time, it was about to declare itself an independent state.
Key contribution... Coolly marshalling the midfield, providing the odd bit of creativity and helping Orient turn around an eight-game winless run and pick up a few valuable points in the run-up to Christmas.
Where is he now? Back at Plymouth and facing imminent relegation to League Two.

8. Dean Morgan (Luton Town)
34 games from August 2008 to May 2009

The hole he was filling... Morgan was the left-footed winger that Martin Ling pledged to bring in before the start of the 2008/09 season. Never mind that he was actually right-footed, for the tattooed Luton man could strike a ball better than the rest of the team with either boot. Morgan divided opinion among fans - some hated him, while others despised him. Talented though.
Key contribution... Falling on the floor, crying, pouting, sulking, bottling out of tackles and feigning injury. Oh, and almost single-handedly beating second-placed MK Dons away from home in January.
Where is he now? After short spells at Grays Athletic, MK Dons and Aldershot, Morgan's now helping Chesterfield with their League Two promotion push.

7. Jamal Campbell-Ryce (Charlton Athletic)
19 games from August to November 2002

The hole he was filling... The lack of anyone in midfield or attack with any spark of creativity. Or pace. Or ability. Campbell-Ryce had to compensate for the talent graveyard that was Paul Brush's squad in his only full season in charge of the Os. Carl Hutchings, Lee Thorpe, Scott Canham, Matt Brazier, Ciaran Toner... Read 'em and weep.
Key contribution... Tearing apart the QPR defence - Clark Carlisle in particular - in a satisfying 3-2 League Cup victory for the Os, in which Campbell-Ryce also scored the opening goal.
Where is he now? Playing for Bristol City in the Championship, after spells at Rotherham, Southend and Barnsley.

6. Andros Townsend (Tottenham Hotspur)
26 games from August to December 2009

The hole he was filling... The one created by leaving JJ Melligan on the bench. To be fair, there wasn't that much difference between Melligan and Townsend, save for the fact that the Spurs loanee could actually pass a ball, trap it, dribble, run at pace, put in decent crosses and shoot. The two players were similar in that they were both human beings though.
Key contribution... Scoring this wonder goal against Yeovil in August 2009, in which he ran a full 70 yards past half the opposition team before placing the ball in the net from the edge of the penalty area.
Where is he now? On loan at Millwall, after spells at MK Dons, Ipswich and Watford.

5. Simon Church (Reading)
13 games from February to May 2009

The hole he was filling... The one vacated by Adam Boyd who, presumably sick of his teammates lumping the ball towards his head, rather than to his feet where he was occasionally effective, had given up for the season as he waited for his move back to Hartlepool.
Key contribution... Hitting the winners against Carlisle and Stockport in March, part of a late season run of form that saw Geraint Williams' team escape relegation by the skin of their teeth.
Where is he now? Back at Reading - although not having the best season in front of goal - and with 11 full international caps for Wales to his name.

4. Nicky Adams (Leicester City)
6 games from January to February 2010

The hole he was filling... The one left by departing loanee Andros Townsend that should have been filled by JJ Melligan, if only the Irish midfielder wasn't as out of his depth in League One as a stowaway on a submarine.

Key contribution... Repeatedly beating his man and getting the ball into the box, helping Orient to amass 15 points in the six matches he played. Had a particularly effective game at Charlton, which the Os won 1-0.

Where is he now? Orient fans clamoured for his signing in the summer of 2010 but were probably relieved he went to Brentford and then Rochdale, for each time he's played at Brisbane Road since his departure he's been about useful as Russell Slade's tub of Brylcreem.

3. Paul-Jose M'Poku (Tottenham Hotspur)
26 games from September 2010 to current

The hole he was filling... Not so much a hole, rather the lack of someone with such dribbling ability he can make defenders curl up into a little ball and scream, 'No, please, make it stop.' 
Key contribution... Tearing Droylsden apart in the FA Cup 2nd round replay as if he were a rottweiler at an origami convention. Plus a breathtaking winning goal against Oldham at Brisbane Road and a general ability to come off the bench and give the team a bit of Belgian magic.
Where is he now? Happily Paul-Jose is with Orient until the end of the season.

2. Richard Garcia (West Ham United)
21 games from August to November 2000

The hole he was filling... The one alongside Carl Griffiths that would otherwise have been filled by Steve Watts rocking up to the game fresh from a night on the tiles with Jordan.
Key contribution... The Australian formed an effective partnership with Griff that helped Orient to 33 points from their first 18 games of the 2000/01 season. By the time Garcia crocked his knee against Cheltenham in November he'd helped to provide the foundation upon which Orient built their successful push for the play-offs.
Where is he now? Playing for Hull City in the Championship after a couple of seasons in the Premier League. Garcia also has 14 international caps to his name.

1. Kevin Campbell (Arsenal)
16 games from January to April 1989

The hole he was filling... The one left by Ian Juryeff, who'd been taken on trial by Ipswich Town in February 1989, as Orient continued their New Year push for the Division Four play-off places.
Key contribution... Goals. Lots of goals. The young Arsenal striker - who turned 19 years old as he joined Orient - hit nine in his 16 games for the club, helping Orient to drag themselves out of the depths of Division Four into the glitz and glamour of Division Three, where enticing fixtures such as Rotherham, Chester City and Mansfield awaited.
Where is he now? Campbell retired from football in 2007 after many seasons climbing all over defenders in the top flight. He now co-owns a security company specialising in protection for wealthy clients.

Leyton Orient 1 Oldham Athletic 0, 12/3/11

A game which... for Oldham manager Paul Dickov must have felt like spending the whole evening chatting up Cheryl Cole, only to end up having to go home with Nicola Roberts. His team, you see, came with a gameplan: pressing hard, stopping Orient from playing out from the back and wrestling players to the ground at every opportunity. It nearly worked too, for while the Os didn't lack in endeavour they found it hard to achieve the fluency of recent matches and it looked like the game was heading for a goalless draw. Until, that is, Paul-Jose M'Poku swaggered onto the pitch with his loping cowboy gait, unholstered his right foot and fired a long-range shot into the corner of the net that left Oldham stone dead.

Moment to savour... A Barcelona-esque display of Orient possession around the 20-minute mark, in which the team must have strung together over 30 passes. Admittedly all of these were in the Os' own half, but with the Brisbane Road pitch in the shape it's in at the moment, even the Spanish champions would find it hard to move the ball around without it disappearing down a three foot-deep rut.

Head in hands moment... When, in the second half, Matthew Spring drove the ball so hard and low that it hit Dean Cox full in the stomach. Presumably the miniature winger was so surprised that Spring was passing it forwards rather than back to Jamie Jones that he didn't have time to get out of the way.

King for a day... M'Poku will rightly be hailed the hero, but it was Andrew Whing's gutsy performance that caught the eye over the full 90 minutes. Like a Stephen Purches who can actually tackle, pass, intercept, control the ball, read the game and drive forward, the former Brighton man is the right-back we've needed for years.

Boo boy... No one in an Orient shirt (although, whisper it, Alex Revell has become increasingly less effective in recent games and needs a goal). Referee RL Lewis, meanwhile, was the sort of jumped up little pedant who runs 40 yards to ensure a free kick isn't taken two inches out of position, yet bottles out of numerous decisions and nearly allowed Oldham to niggle their way to draw.

In the dugout... More astute managing from Russell Slade, keeping faith with in-form Harry Kane and Tom Carroll, despite having McGleish, Smith and Chambers on the bench. Paul Dickov, meanwhile, spent virtually the entire game berating the fourth official, presumably unaware that the chokeslams, flying neckbreakers, piledrivers and axe handle elbow drops are still outlawed in the game of football.

What would Martin Ling have done? Responded to Paul Dickov's constant yammering by remaining silently impassive on the touchline. "I was going to say something," he'd claim defiantly in the post-match press conference, "but I forgot."

Play-offs? Four wins in four and only one league loss since the beginning of November. And while I'm aware that - like Charlie Sheen's sanity - all good things must come to an end, Orient do seem to have the momentum to make the play-offs. Must be their tiger blood.

Top 10 Brisbane Road moments of 2010

It's Christmas, the season to be jolly. So, in marked contrast to this blog's usual modus operandi (slagging off Ryan Jarvis and attempting to make cheap cracks at the expense of Jimmy Smith) I decided to pick out the ten highlights of the year at Brisbane Road.

So, after about 500 hours of meticulously scraping the bottom of a barrel I've actually recalled some. Here goes... and not a Loick Pires gag in sight. Well, maybe one.

10. Nicky Adams. He's actually quite good. Let's buy him. Oh, hang on...
Leyton Orient 2 Yeovil 0, 19 January 2010

Orient began 2010 in the relegation zone and without a win in five games. In a bid to turn things round, manager Geraint Williams had been driven to contemplating the 'nuclear option' - giving Loick Pires 90 minutes. Thankfully he didn't have to push the red button, instead bringing in Nicky Adams on loan from Leicester. And it was the little winger's inspired display that drove Orient to a 2-0 victory over Yeovil and led to a concerted campaign by fans to sign him in the summer. It didn't happen, and since then Adams has played against Orient about five times for eleven different clubs and has been unfailingly cack on each occasion. Good riddance!

9. A wet t-shirt competition, Orient-style
Leyton Orient 2 Rochdale 1, 30 October 2010

In lieu of any actual entertainment on the football pitch at the start of the 2010/11 season, Brisbane Road staff came up with a novel way of ensuring fans got their money's worth. And so, after some bright spark presumably herded up a bunch of random girls from Faces nightclub, Gants Hill, and stuck them in hot pants, we were treated to a pre-match routine by a dance troupe named The Leyton Orientettes or The East London Lovelies or something. Unfortunately for them the groundsman elected to switch on the under-pitch sprinkler system just as they began, turning the whole thing into the sort of sordid wet t-shirt debacle more suited to, well, Faces nightclub, Gants Hill. Sadly, the girls haven't been seen since.

8. Oh Sean, when you tried you were actually quite good
Leyton Orient 2 Walsall 0, 13 March 2010

Sean Thornton. When he wasn't sulking / unfit / dying his hair / injured / being played out of position by Martin Ling he was a class act, as he proved in this vital win back in March. Orient were without a victory in seven games and flirting with relegation like an inappropriate dad cracking on to his teenage daughter's friends. Enter Thornton, whose two goals ensured that Geraint Williams wasn't sacked for at least a few more games.

7. Hey, a talented player at Brisbane Road! 
Leyton Orient 1 Hartlepool 0, 16 October 2010

Occasionally Orient fans are fortunate enough to witness a truly talented player gracing the Brisbane Road turf. Invariably he's playing for the opposition. Although not on this Saturday afternoon when manager Russell Slade unleashed Spurs loanee and Belgian U19 international Paul-Jose M'poku on an unsuspecting Hartlepool with half an hour to go. He can dribble, he can pass, he can shoot, he can cross, he can hold the ball up... Let's buy him. What? He costs £25 million. Oh...

6. Size isn't everything
Leyton Orient 1 Huddersfield Town 2, 11 September 2010

Orient have a fine tradition of employing sub-5ft wingers who can presumably bamboozle a row of cones in training with their dribbling skills, but are somewhat less effective when faced with the clattering hulk of lower league defenders. Think JJ Melligan. Think Shane Tudor. Think John Martin. Happily Dean Cox doesn't fit into this mould (though, incidentally, he would fit into the mould of a gingerbread man) as he proved with a jaw-dropping half-volley hit on the run which must stand as the 2010 goal of the season at Brisbane Road.

5. Super sub salvages point!
Leyton Orient 2 Bournemouth 2, 20 November 2010

Sitting two spots above the relegation zone, 2-0 down at home to Bournemouth and being absolutely outplayed, things weren't looking so flash for Orient last month. But a game's never dead when the masterful enigma that is Jonathan Tehoue is on the bench, and lo and behold the perennially-unfit striker came on to score two goals and rescue a point for the Os. Magnificent. Who knows what would happen if Tehoue actually started a game? (Erm, I do. He'd be mostly ineffective, run out of steam after about 60 minutes, get substituted and then return to the bench for the subsequent match.)

4. Orient score five goals. In the same match!
Leyton Orient 5 Bristol Rovers 0, 2 February 2010

Every few years an unusual alignment of the planets coincides with a glitch in the Matrix and Orient actually turn a team over. And so it was on a Tuesday in February that the Os put five past a sorry Bristol Rovers. The odds against Ryan Jarvis scoring a goal, Jason Demetriou having a decent 90 minutes and James Scowcroft actually doing something, anything, on the football pitch all on the same evening are billions to one. And yet it came to pass in a glorious night at Brisbane Road.

3. Ryan Jarvis remembers how to shoot!
Leyton Orient 2 Wycombe Wanderers 0, 1 May 2010

The penultimate game of the season, and with the game locked at 0-0 with 12 minutes to go, and with results elsewhere going against them, Orient were staring down the barrel of relegation to League Two. However, if there's one man you can rely on, it's definitely not Ryan Jarvis. Nonetheless, the non-scoring striker guaranteed the Os would avoid a drop with a searing strike from the edge of the area.

2. And then the ref fell over...
Leyton Orient 8 Droylsden 2 (aet)

It's hard to pick out one single highlight of one of the most exhilharatingly mad nights at Brisbane Road for many years - maybe ever. But the first five minutes of extra time saw Orient's Paul-Jose M'poku single-handedly tearing Droylsden apart as if he was disdainfully ripping up ultra-thin tissue paper. He scored one to put the Os 3-2 up before being upended by a savage tackle that literally flipped him 360-degrees in the air. Lee Roche's consequent sending off caused a massive set-to between both benches, requiring steward and police intervention, before Droylsden's ridiculous imp of a manager Dave Pace was sent to the stands. Just as everything calmed down the referee fell over himself, as if there hadn't been quite enough drama.

1. "SECOND BALL! SECOND BALL!"
Leyton Orient 2 Norwich City 1, 13 April 2010

A whopping 46 points separated league leaders Norwich from relegation-threatened Orient in Russell Slade's first home game in charge. And yet, in an absolutely barnstorming night of football the Os went into the final few minutes of the game 2-1 up and clinging on to what would prove to be three vital points. In the dying seconds of injury time Norwich were awarded a free-kick on the edge of Orient's area. By now Slade, who'd been conducting affairs from two metres inside the pitch for the last few minutes, was - like a coked-up grasshopper - wild and bug-eyed with with nervous energy. He turned to substitute Jason Demotriou and screamed, "SECOND BALL! GO AND TELL THEM SECOND BALL!" Demetriou dutifully sprinted up the touchline to pass on the instructions, Norwich smashed the ball into the wall, Orient indeed cleared up the second ball and the three points were secure. A fitting end to a magical night under the new gaffer.

FA Cup Round 2 Replay: Leyton Orient 8 Droylsden 2, 7/12/10

A game which... was such a spectacle and so packed with incident that should an alien spacecraft ill-advisedly have chosen to land on top of the East Stand midway through extra-time, fans would have simply given it the most cursory of glances and muttered, 'Yeah, whatever, Tehoue's about to get his hatrick.' Ten goals, four sending offs... Where to even begin? Well, it should be noted that although 1-0 down at half-time and quite a few passes going astray, Orient weren't actually playing that badly, and but for the crossbar and two miraculous goal-line clearances, would have been 3-1 up.

In the second half, though hit on the break for Droylsden to go two-up, the Os were nothing if not committed and eventually got their just rewards with the two goals. Extra-time, meanwhile, was something akin to what would occur should a well-meaning, if misguided, PE teacher decide to round-up all the wheezing fat kids and make them play a practice game against the school first XI, just to show them that exercise can be fun. It isn't. I'm not saying that the Droylsden part-timers were unfit, but I'm sure I spotted a respirator in their physio's bag next to the 'magic sponge'.

Moment to savour... Should Simon Cowell ever launch a spin-off TV show entitled Odious Little Prick Factor, Droylsden's manager Dave Pace would surely give favourite Katie Waissel a run for her money. So it was a delight to see him escorted to the stands by a couple of coppers after squaring up to our very own Kevin Nugent, a man whose refusal to wear anything other than shorts in sub-Arctic temperatures proves he's not someone to be messed with.

Head in hands moment... Terrell Forbes ludicrously unnecessary challenge on Droylsden's Jody Banim that led to his first-half red card. Given that Banim seemed to be weighed down by a good 30 or 40 doughnuts, a couple of greasy fry-ups and a bag of lard, he took some knocking over too.

King for a day... A tough one. Charlie Daniels was in imperious form, driving into the box time after time and executing one mouth-watering slide tackle in front of the West Stand in the first half. Tehoue and McGleish, of course, got well-deserved hatricks and it was great to have Stephen Dawson back doing what he does best (running). But the award has to go to Paul-Jose M'poku who, during the second half and until his substitution in extra time, was - like a Joe McElderry CD - completely unplayable. 

Boo boy... Matthew Spring. But first, a disclaimer: The enormously-conked playmaker played pretty well in extra time, not least because the entire Droylsden midfield were cowering in their own penalty area whimpering, 'Please, God, no... Make it stop.' Before that, however, the Springster's inability to hit a pass to anyone other than an opposition player was somewhat worrying, given that passing is supposed to be his 'thing'.

In the dug out... Losing 1-0, down to 10 men and just about to come out for the second half. What would most managers do? Take off a striker, bolster the defence and hope you can nick a draw on the break, probably. Not Big Russ, he threw on another striker, played 3-3-3 and damn you all! Fair play to him.

What would Martin Ling have done? Claimed at the victorious press conference that, as an Orient man through and through, it was a proud day for him. Then the next day touted himself to Swindon because they have slightly bigger gates at the County Ground than they do at Brisbane Road.

Going to Wembley? Well, if Orient can beat Droylsden 8-2 then they are certainly a match for any Conference North side! Norwich might prove a bit trickier to overcome, though, but after tonight's memorable performance, there's no ruling out what might happen. We might even have a defence back by then, too.

FA Cup Round 1 Replay: Leyton Orient 3 Dagenham & Redbridge 2

A game in which... Orient nearly contrived to throw away a two-goal lead for the third time this season after they were temporarily bamboozled by Dagenham & Redbridge's visionary tactics (lump it up to Bas Savage, see what happens). That said, apart from 15 minutes of madness in the second half when the Os appeared terror-stricken by the sight of the ball repeatedly dropping into the penalty area from great height, this was a relatively decent performance.

Moment to savour... Paul-Jose M'poku's through pass to Alex Revell for Orient's second goal split the Dagenham & Redbridge defence like a chainsaw through butter. Although Charlie Daniels' jinking run to the byline that took out about four Daggers' defenders in the second half was equally as praiseworthy.

Head in hands moment... Lee Butcher's bizarre first-half decision to throw the ball out to Charlie Daniels, despite the fact the left back was surrounded by the entire Dagenham & Redbridge team - including the goalkeeper and substitutes.

King for a day... Chorley was commanding in defence, M'poku a constant threat on the left wing, Daniels put in a great shift and even Jimmy Smith did a couple of things of note, such as... erm... no, it's gone. But man of the match has to go to that old trooper Scott McGleish, whose tireless running, two goals and salmon-swimming-upstream headers ensured the Os reached round two safely. Not bad for a 48-year-old.

Boo boy... No one really, though sadly Jonathan Tehoue's cameos are looking less and less impressive as time goes on.

In the dug out... Big Russ repsonded to a fan's complaint about James Walker - who'd just spooned a cross into the crowd - with a barrel-load of invective. Fair enough, Russ, you've certainly showed a lot of faith in Walker. Oh, hang on...

What would Martin Ling have done? Responded to Adam Chambers' injury by simply playing 10 men from the start. "There's no one who can replace Chambo," he'd say, defiantly, "except maybe Derek Duncan, and there's an important reserves game coming up so I don't want to risk him."

On the way to Wembley? It's Droylsden in the second round, and while it's never easy playing away from home against a Sunday pub team, the Os should be able to make it to round three. After that, well, who knows how many we'll lose by if we draw a Premier League team?

Leyton Orient 1 Hartlepool United 0, 16/10/10

A game in which... Orient abandoned their previously unsuccessful tactic of playing reasonably well and then losing in favour of playing absolutely abysmally and winning. The first 60 minutes were woeful, a footballing spectacle only marginally preferable to trying to trim your own toenails with a chainsaw. The last 30 minutes were better, thanks solely to the introduction of on-loan midfielder Paul-Jose M'poku. The Belgian U19 international reminded his forgetful Orient teammates that passing, dribbling, running and shooting are often useful weapons to deploy when trying to win a game of football.

Moment to savour... Hartlepool, it should be noted, were equally as dire as Orient, but did have one notable attempt at goal in the second half - a header which reserve goalkeeper Lee Butcher acrobatically turned over the bar, indicating he could prove to be a more than able back up to Jamie Jones.

Head in hands moment... Ben Chorley's lung-busting 70-yard run towards the end of the game, which took him from deep in the Orient half into Hartlepool's penalty area. Is he going to blast it into the net? Is he going to cleverly lay it off for Scott McGleish to score? Oh, he's passed it straight to the opposition and has to run all the way back again... Shame.

King for a day... Only one candidate really: Paul-Jose M'poku. Introduced with half an hour to go, he gave the Os some real impetus going forward, continually beating men and causing trouble around the edge of the box. Presumably he'd been watching the game very closely from the bench, because he opted to shoot from every free kick rather than pass to a fellow red shirt, no matter how far away from goal he was. Clever.

Boo boy... Dean Cox, who gave an outright JJ Melligan of a performance. In the first 15 minutes he bizarrely opted to deftly chip the ball back into this own penalty area into the path of an onrushing Hartlepool player, and it went downhill from there. Even his trademark squaring up to an opposition player seemed half-hearted this week.

In the dug out... Let's give Big Russ the benefit of the doubt and assume that, despite the loss of Stephen Dawson to injury, he left M'poku on the bench for match-fitness rather than tactical reasons. Still, there was a fair degree of heckling from the West Stand over his reluctance to make any substitutions until the final half an hour, and the manager's apparently unending in faith in his first-choice eleven despite Orient's league position is a bit dubious. And what's James Walker done to upset him? Pissed in his cap?

What would Martin Ling have done? Claimed in the post-match press conference that Paul-Jose Mpoku's performance was one of genius, then gone on to leave him on the bench for the next match in favour of JJ Melligan. "JJ's been really committed in training this week and he deserves his chance," he'd say, defiantly.

Going down? Well, we're out of the relegation zone, but it's going to take a lot more than a 1-0 win over a hopeless Hartlepool side to salvage something from this season. Still, keep the teenage Spurs loanees coming in and we might just stand a chance of staying up.