11 February 2015

Leyton Orient 0 Notts County 1, 10/2/15

A game in which... Orient played like a ship without a rudder. Or an engine. Or an anchor. Or a captain. Or a crew. Or a map. Or a radio. Or a lifeboat... Obviously I could go on listing essential components of hazard-free sailing, but what I'm trying to illustrate is that this a club that is all at sea.

Or to put it non-nautically, this performance – or total lack of one – was evidence not only of certain relegation, but a deep, deep malaise running through every aspect of this football club. Now would be an appropriate time to make some sort of comparison between Orient and the Titanic, but I think that might be unfair on the Titanic.

Jump off your seat moment... The Orient fans were on their feet tonight for sure, but only to sing a vociferous rendition of "You don't know what you're doing" at Fabio Liverani for his bewildering substitution of Chris Dagnall. The Scouse striker was at least looking industrious – albeit in the manner of a barely-functioning steel works in a long-forgotten northern town.

Just think, Josh, you could have been
doing this instead... 
Give that man a medal... How Josh Wright must be ruing the day he told the producers of The Only Way Is Essex that he'd rather pursue his career as a professional footballer than join his brother and sister on the set of everyone's sixth-favourite ITV2 show. Don't get me wrong, Wright still played appallingly, just not quite as appallingly as everyone else.

Taxi for... Romain Vincelot had his worst game in an Orient shirt, so was inevitably awarded man of the match by today's sponsors in what's becoming a regular injection of deep, dark satire into each game. Everyone else was equally as shit but they can't all fit in a taxi, so let's instead call one for Fabio Liverani who – if we're lucky – might end up accidentally requesting a fare to Rome while stumbling through his English phrasebook.

"Fuck the technical shit..." Let's leave aside Fabio Liverani's bat-shit mental team selection, formation, tactics and substitutions for the moment, and focus on the fact that he spent the entire first half doing nothing but repeatedly urging Bradley Pritchard to move slightly to the left or right. Nothing else. Just that. I might point out that moving Bradley Pritchard anywhere other than outside of the stadium is unlikely to have a discernible effect on the team's fortunes, but more importantly it is now crystal clear that Liverani has zero chance of turning this round. Zero.

Meanwhile on BBC London... Francisco Becchetti speaks! Just when you thought the Grand Almighty Supreme Overlord-in-Chief of Leyton Orient (I'm contractually-obliged to use his official title) was too busy firing English-speaking staff and making hilarious videos to deign us with his presence, Franny pops up on the radio. And he has some good news for fans! Never mind about all the losing and the impending relegation and the ripping the soul out of the club stuff – you're always moaning about something you lot, lolz! – because according to Mr Becchetti a couple of young people in Italy asked him for Orient shirts. Every cloud...

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