Leyton Orient 3 Gillingham 3, 6/4/15

A game which... began with Andrea Dossena embarking on a crazed kamikaze mission to single-handedly relegate Orient; continued with a heroic last stand by Alex Cisak; and ended with a late Darius Henderson-inspired rally to rescue an unlikely point.

Thing is though, Orient shouldn't have to be rescuing a point at home to an average side like Gillingham but yet again our statuesque defending and wastefulness on the ball was our undoing. Sure, in the last 20 minutes we built up a head of steam – much as you would if you tried to heat up a swimming pool with a box of matches – but last-ditch fight-backs may not be enough to save Orient from relegation if we continue to be this sloppy at the back.

Josh Wright celebrates his goal 

Jump off your seat moment... Another game, another vital goal for The Only Way Is Essex reject Josh "Mark's brother" Wright. And boy did he celebrate – whooping and gesticulating like a hormonal teenager at his first Marbella boat party. Good work Josh!

Give that man a medal... Alex Cisak has impressed since coming in on loan from Burnley and appears to have given the Orient defence so much confidence that they are happy to stand around letting opposition players shoot freely at him for 90 consecutive minutes. The big Aussie must feel like he's ventured into the searing heat of the Outback with just four warm cans of Fosters for all the use his back line is, but today he was Jakupovic-esque and pulled off a series of crucial saves.

Andrea Dossena: Casual 

Taxi for... Andrea Dossena. The guy's clearly got class but the way he defends is so casual he might as well take to the pitch fully decked out in Stone Island clobber. With Gary Sawyer out for the rest of the season the Italian is going to have to start earning his dosh – fast. And when I say "fast" I mean "slightly quicker than ambling disinterestedly back towards the penalty area", which would be an improvement on today.

"Fuck the technical shit"... Now, it's easy to criticise team selection with the benefit of hindsight... so that's exactly what I'm going to do. Number one: after a battling clean sheet against Coventry, why drop Nathan Clarke for an out-of-match-practice Shane Lowry? Number two: Why rush Lloyd James back into the side when other options – Taylor? Bartley? Hell, even Pritchard (just kidding) – were available? Number three: Why leave McAnuff on the bench when he's been our most in-form winger of the last couple of months? Liverani still hasn't sorted out our defending of set pieces either. Apart from all that, love the guy!

Meanwhile on Twitter... "After setting off at the same time I did last week I'm an hour and fifteen minutes early" tweeted a clearly bewildered Darius Henderson before the game, almost as if he had never before encountered the phenomenon of external factors influencing the outcome of events. Next week: Darius becomes overheated and agitated while wearing a thick winter's coat on a sunny April day. "I didn't have this problem when I wore it in December," he tweets, highly confused.

Leyton Orient 3 Port Vale 1, 28/3/15

A game which... played out like a trippy 60s movie, such was the mind-bending surreality of the afternoon. Where to even begin: Matt Baudry sparring with a pigeon? Matchday announcer Philip Othen being forced to read out a message from President Becchetti slagging off Darius Henderson for turning up late? Gianvito Plasmati getting on the pitch? David Mooney saying this: "In the first half I thought we were excellent"? Weirded-out, freaky shit, man.   

Let's start with the football: Orient were in fact apocalyptically atrocious in the first half. Mercifully someone appeared to spike Port Vale's half-time Powerade with LSD for the opponents played the second 45 minutes as if transfixed by the kaleidoscopic colours and shifting shapes of Brisbane Road. So while their opponents were pointing at clouds and giggling, the Os took advantage – they could hardly not – and at the end of the afternoon had three points to show for it, which thankfully proved not to be a hallucination. 

Jump off your seat moment... Dean Cox's stunning winner gets an honourable mention of course, but let's instead focus on Orient's second goal. Now, I'm not saying that the way Port Vale conceded was the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened in the whole history of Brisbane Road – that was David Mooney's woefully-missed penalty, minutes later – but by God it was cringeworthy. 

With the ball plummeting out of the sky substitute keeper Sam Johnson – whose performance suggested he was actually just a random bloke pulled out of the crowd – inexplicably stood immobile while a grateful Jake Taylor headed the ball nowhere useful, only for Vale defender Neill Collins to bewilderingly slice the ball into his own net. Guys, if we somehow stay up, you two will be fighting for our player of the season award. 

BOOOO!!! 

Give that man a medal... It's not often that a substitute gets a standing ovation as he takes to the pitch. In fact, as Gianvito Plasmati found out to his cost, some fans are more likely to boo our own players. (Come on guys, let's get off the lanky Italian's back. You wouldn't heckle a bowl of spaghetti bolognese before you even take a bite of it, would you? Even if every previous time you've eaten spaghetti bolognese it's made you violently ill.) 

Anyway, I'm talking the rapturous reception afforded to Lloyd James. And what a joy it was to see the return of a central midfielder who can pass the ball in a direction other than sideways or backwards. 

Taxi for... Chris Dagnall. Now, I'm not questioning the Scouse striker's hamster-in-a-wheel work-rate. But I am questioning the fact that Dagnall seems to have developed a nasty habit of hitting the woodwork when presented with a gaping open goal. He did it twice today (and once against Yeovil and once against Barnsley). And if we're going to get out of this relegation mess, we're going to need the striker to start burying his chances. Either that or we need to play Port Vale every week. 

"Fuck the technical shit"... Clearly our illustrious president Sr Becchetti has no confidence in Fabio Liverani's ability to motivate his team and today decided to take matters into his own hands. What happened was this: Darius Henderson turned up four hours late to the game after getting stuck in traffic, a fitting metaphor for the timing of his runs into the box on the football pitch. 

Presuming that the striker needed some sort of kick up his sizeable arse, the president issued instruction to matchday announcer Philip Othen to ironically thank him during the half-time announcements. ON WHAT FOOTBALLING PLANET IS THIS OK? That's right, Planet Orient. Next week: president Becchetti orders Gary Sawyer to sit on a naughty step for turning up to training with his shirt hanging out. 

Meanwhile on Twitter... "Magnanimous effort from the lads today..." wrote hipster keeper Adam Legzdins, almost certainly meaning "magnificent" not "magnanimous", unless he truly was heralding his teammates' generosity in forgiving an insult. 

Or maybe he was? Perhaps he'd mocked them for buying coffee at Starbucks or not knowing the difference between milk stout and porter ale? Who even knows anymore? Tune in next week for more from the psychedelic world of Leyton Orient... *Twilight Zone music* 

Leyton Orient 0 Barnsley 0, 17/3/15

A game in which... Orient did not concede a goal. Even though Barnsley are a classy side. Even though they had set pieces. Even though they went down to ten men.

And given that for the majority of the season our defence has been leaking like someone trying to collect water with a sieve from the foot of the Niagara Falls, this is some achievement. So, yeah, we didn't score ourselves either but God knows the players gave it their best shot and created enough chances to have emerged worthy winners. A point is better than none, but it's the performance that should give us all hope we can survive.

Jump off your seat moment... Picture what it might look like if you tried to raise a crumbling skyscraper a couple of millimetres off the ground using a car jack. This is some approximation of the moment Darius Henderson heaved himself towards a perfect Andrea Dossena cross, bits of plaster falling from him as he did so. The goal was gaping, yet somehow the big striker contrived to miss.

Give that man a medal... More excellence from Ryan Hedges, Luke O'Neill, Josh Wright and Alex Cisak tonight, but let's take a moment to discuss Nathan Clarke. Now, the club captain has come in for a lot of stick this season – some of it pretty disrespectful – simply because almost every single goal we've conceded has been due to a catastrophic error on his part. But tonight he was down to his no-nonsense best and has a clean sheet to show for it.

Taxi for... Take a look at this photo. You'd be pretty embarrassed if that was your brother, right? Well it is Josh Wright's brother, but that isn't one millionth as embarrassing as the corner Josh took in the first half in which he managed to stumble over the corner flag, scuff the ball a yard in front of him and then stand around sheepishly while his team mates came to the rescue. As they'd say on The Only Way Is Essex: awkward.

"Fuck the technical shit"... Were Fabio Liverani piloting a commercial airliner, I suspect he would spend the entire flight maniacally insisting that the cabin crew move the drinks trolleys two or three millimetres to the left while failing to notice that his plane was plummeting into the sea. What I'm saying here is that the Italian likes to incessantly and pointlessly micro-manage for the duration of each game. But while Orient carrying on playing as they are at the moment, I'm going to trust that he has some idea of what he's doing.

Kevin and his two brothers 

Meanwhile on Twitter... Plenty of tributes to Kevin Lisbie, who may have played his last game in an Orient shirt having gone out on loan to Stevenage. "Words can't describe how much I'll miss Lis," wrote Dean Cox, before going on to use words to describe how much he'll miss Lis: "Great bloke and absolute legend." Matt Porter, meanwhile, said: "Sometimes you get lucky with signings. Kevin Lisbie lived round the corner from the training ground", almost as if the club had no coherent scouting policy even before the Italians turned up. What is true is that there appears to be universal appreciation for a great player, a great club man and a great professional. Kev, we'll miss you.

Leyton Orient 3 Yeovil Town 0, 14/3/15

Yeovil Town

A game in which... Orient coasted to a routine victory – assuming, that is, that your 'routine' involves torturing wounded and helpless kittens. Yep, it's difficult to describe quite how pitiful Yeovil were except to say that they were almost as wretched as the Orient side of about six weeks ago.

Still, you can only beat what's put in front of you and in fact the home team played some pretty enticing football, especially during a first half in which they could have legitimately been four or five-nil up. Tougher tests will come for Orient – tying their own shoelaces, for example, or naming a fruit beginning with the letter 'a'  – but the signs were positive today.

Jump off your seat moment... Marvin Bartley has the unenviable task of replacing the injured Romain Vincelot for the rest of the season, which is a bit like asking Stacey Solomon to stand in for Brigitte Bardot. But God knows the former and future window-fitter tried his little heart out and it was his run and lay-off that led to the second goal.

Give that man a medal... Excellent performances all round, but in particular from Baudry, Cuthbert, McAnuff, Dossena and Hedges. And of course Chris Dagnall, as ever, scuttled round incessantly like a cockroach on a hot tin roof. But let's take this moment to hail a classy performance by on-loan right back Luke O'Neill (or "Nell" as Liverani insists on yelling at him), who's brought some stability and attacking impetus to the flank since his arrival from Burnley.

Taxi for... There were no bad performances from anyone in an Orient shirt so let's instead focus on the Yeovil fan who, presumably figuring that life was no longer worth living if he had to watch a single second more of the Glovers, chose to scale the girders into the roof of the East Stand. Given that the ancient stand is now held together by nothing more than a couple of safety pins, some sellotape and the shattered dreams of Peterborough fans, it's a miracle he survived. Still, he got arrested and ejected from the ground, so will probably consider missing the second half worth his trouble.

"Fuck the technical shit"... One can only imagine the sheer force of will it took Fabio Liverani to not select a fit Bradley Pritchard, but in doing so he managed to send out a starting XI that attacked with some verve. So fair play to him. It's still difficult, mind, to tell how much tactical insight is going on in between all the frantic touchline arm-waving, but given we won let's at least assume that his semaphore isn't actively detracting from our performances.

Meanwhile on Instagram... Say hello to Giulia Salemi, former Miss Italy, Agon Channel presenter and die-hard Leyton Orient fan since as far back as last week. I had the pleasure of interviewing Giulia this evening in my own imagination and discovered that her all-time favourite Orient legend is Ryan Hedges; her favourite goal ever is Ryan Hedges' strike against Yeovil Town today; and in all her time supporting Orient the player she'd most like to date is Ryan Hedges.

Leyton Orient 1 Bristol City 3, 3/3/15

Leyton Orient

A game which... left fans feeling both sorry for and proud of Leyton Orient, much in the way you may have patronisingly cheered on Eric the Eel in the Sydney Olympics. Yep, it was always going to be difficult for the Os to overcome a rampant, high-flying Bristol City but, hey, at least they didn't drown.

In fact, the home side did even better than that, fashioning the better of the chances and at times dominating play. But – surprise, surprise – Orient were hoisted on the petard of their own inability to defend properly for 90 unbroken minutes. Still, if we play like that against teams less clinical than the Robins then there's still a chance we won't be the ones left flailing round in the relegation zone while everyone else races to the finishing line.

Jump off your seat moment... Have you ever seen a giraffe try to tap dance? Or a sea-lion do the splits? Or a lamppost attempt a pirouette? Well, never mind, because if you were at Brisbane Road you would have seen Gianvito Plasmati perfectly execute a bicycle kick and for that you are truly, truly blessed.

Give that man a medal... If Jobi McAnuff's post-injury return to the side in 2015 was a film, it would be The Godfather Part II – a sequel far superior to the original. That said, McAnuff's early season performances were hardly The Godfather, were they? More like Run For Your Wife starring Danny Dyer, Denise Van Outen and the blonde one from Girls Aloud. What I'm trying to say here is McAnuff was good again tonight. And earlier this season he was shit.

Taxi for... Oh Mathieu Baudry. So elegant, so handsome, so cultured... so prone to momentary lapses in concentration that lead directly to opposition goals. The Frenchman almost opened up an alternate timeline of doom when he messily gave away a penalty against Oldham, and tonight his errors – once in failing to shepherd the ball out and once in giving away a pointless foul – gave Bristol two opportunities to score. Cuthbert back in central defence next week anyone?

"Fuck the technical shit"... So, everyone likes Fabio Liverani now that he made a couple of mild jokes at the Meet The Manager night? Christ, you lot are fickle. But, to be fair to the Italian, he does now seem to have figured out who his players are and what position they're actually supposed to play in. What do you mean that's a minimum requirement for a football manager? There's no pleasing some people.

Meanwhile on Twitter... A touching thank you tweet to Andrea Dossena from Orient fan Jan, who received a bunch of flowers from the suave Italian to say sorry for nearly killing her with a miscued shot. Imagine if Adrian Patulea had offered similar sentiments every time he skewed one into the crowd – he'd have had to buy a stake in Interflora.

Leyton Orient 3 Oldham Athletic 0, 21/2/15

Fabio Liverani

A game in which... Fabio Liverani ripped off his shirt, beat his chest and declared with a guttural, primal roar: "FUCK THE LOT OF YOU, I'M PLAYING WITH TWO WINGERS AND TWO LEFT-BACKS. WHAT YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?" Or maybe the manager was simply forced into selecting a team with a bit of width by virtue of Bradley Pritchard's injury.

Either way it worked, for this was a joyous return to the Orient of old: spirited, committed and energetic. It also demonstrated that we do actually have a talented group of players and if someone – Liverani? Donatelli? Nugent? Ada the kit man? – can get them to continue playing together as they did today we may still get out of this mess. 

Jump off your seat moment... The moment loanee goalkeeper Alex Cisak saved brilliantly from Jonathan Forte's penalty. If he puts in more fine performances like today's it might finally allow some closure for the Orient fans still heartbroken by the loss of our previous hero between the sticks. No, not Jamie Jones you bloody idiots, Eldin Jakupovic. *swoon* 

Jobi McAnuff marks his debut by wearing mascara

Give that man a medal... Any number of players could have been named man of the match today – Sawyer, Wright, Vincelot, Baudry or Cisak for starters – but let's instead celebrate a player making his Orient debut today: Jobi McAnuff. Yes, yes, the stats might tell you it was the winger's 25th appearance for the club, but it was the first time fans actually saw the player we thought we'd bought in the summer. 

Taxi for... Everyone played well, so let's just single out one moment involving the otherwise excellent Chris Dagnall. Put clean through on goal by Josh Wright, what would you expect the Liverpudlian language-mangler to do? a) Shoot b) Side-foot the ball to David Mooney who, instead of tapping it into an open net, elects to throw himself to the ground appealing for an imaginary foul, only to find he was 40 yards offside the whole time or c) back heel the ball 15 yards back up the pitch to a waiting Oldham defender. If you answered c, you're bonkers. But also correct. 

Liverani tinkers with today's formation

"Fuck the technical shit"... When today's team sheet was announced only those with a doctorate in applied mathematics could have figured out what formation that particular combination of 11 players could possibly line up in. Luckily Dean Cox put in a call to his old mucker Professor Jimmy Smith who advised "4-4-2 #LEGOOOOOO!" And so it was that Fabio Liverani inadvertently stumbled across a decent starting XI. (Albeit one that he will almost certainly ditch as soon as Bradley Pritchard is fit again.) 

Meanwhile on Twitter... This bizarre exchange between ex-England captains Will Carling and Michael Vaughan in which they discuss one-time Orient carthorse Colin West. (As discovered by Chas Portch.) What next, Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga debating the relative merits of James Scowcroft? Stephen Fry and Barack Obama arguing over Adrian Patulea?

Leyton Orient 0 Bradford City 2, 18/2/15

A game in which... Leyton Orient's players gave up defending for Lent. I'm joking of course – they actually gave up defending in August. Yep, after the false dawn of Saturday's victory over Chesterfield it was back to business as usual as a disorganised defence shipped their trademark two goals before half-time.

So that left the home side needing a miracle of Biblical proportions to overturn the deficit and I don't think even an omnipotent God has the power to defer victory on a team containing Bradley Pritchard and Marvin Bartley. Is there still hope of a resurrection? If Liverani is our saviour, I'm a devout unbeliever.

Jump off your seat moment... As a result of Fabio Liverani's innovative second-half tactic of "Just fucking lump it into the box and hope for the best, it's all I've got fellas" (translation courtesy of goalkeeping coach Rob Gagliardi) Orient did inadvertently force a couple of goal-mouth scrambles. Which was sort of mildly diverting in a similar way to observing someone struggle to keep their hat on in a strong wind, or watching a retarded puppy chasing its own tail. Which is something of a metaphor for... no, I can't even be bothered.

Give that man a medal... Various calls among Orient fans to make Marvin Bartley man of the match, which is a bit like awarding the Nobel Peace Prize to North Korea's Kim Jong-Un simply because he didn't happen to have anyone assassinated for 90 minutes on a Wednesday night. If it has to be someone, I'd give it to Omozusi.

Nathan Clarke had trouble against Hanson

Taxi for... Not the best night for Nathan Clarke who, due to a mistranslation of Fabio Liverani's instructions, was under the impression he was to be marking the 90s pop trio Hanson rather than the Bradford striker of the same name. Surely only this could explain why his performance hit such a low note?

"Fuck the technical shit"... Fabio Liverani continues to offer no evidence he has any idea what he's doing, which is perhaps to be expected given he has no experience, no track record and no knowledge of the league, the country, the players or the opposition. And what the hell is his aversion to Hedges? Did Liverani suffer some horrific gardening accident while practising topiary back in Italy? And why is he so reluctant to play with any width? The players were trying out there on the pitch, but it was quite clear that the team selection, the tactics (or lack of), the organisation and the communication weren't right. Still, he's good at waving his arms about, so every cloud...

Meanwhile on Twitter... Nice work from the E10 Mess crew who created a series of Orient-themed Valentine's Day cards earlier this week. My personal favourite was this Gianvito Plasmati-inspired one which I intended to give to my wife, but found myself strangely rooted to the spot while she breezed past me, then I twisted my ankle as I reluctantly began to trudge after her. Coincidence? I think not.