"I bet Eddie Baily I could walk on water" - Stan Charlton on Orient's promotion to Division One

In December last year Stan Charlton sadly passed away at the age of 83. The full-back had captained the Orient side that won promotion to the first division in 1962 and was an ever-present in the club's subsequent - and so far solitary - season in the top flight. 

Here Stan recalls some memories from those two magical seasons... 

“In the summer of 1961 Johnny Carey came in as manager of the club. I was sorry to see Les Gore go, but Johnny had quite a reputation. He was very quiet, but a nice bloke. He always had a pipe in his mouth, whether it was lit or not. He’d say, just keep playing football lads, push it around.

The season before we’d almost been relegated, but this time round, once we started to win games the whole attitude changed. We started to think, we can win this, we can win that. Confidence was high.

Towards the end of the season we were in second place, and we’d just beaten Luton on Easter Monday. The next day Sunderland – who were right behind us – were playing away at Rotherham. [Sunderland were two points behind Orient going into their penultimate game.]

Les Grade [an Orient director at the time] asked me how well I knew the Rotherham skipper Roy Lambert. I said I know him well. He said, I’ll give you £100 expenses to go up and see him before the game and offer him £1000 to win the game. It wasn’t a bribe to lose the game - just like an extra bonus among the Rotherham players to win.

I went up to Millmoor with Dave Dunmore and we met Roy outside the ground and told him the offer, and he said great. Then Dave and I stood on the embankment to watch the game and we had our caps and ear mufflers on, but still two kids came up and asked for our autographs. I couldn’t believe they could recognise us from Orient! Anyway, it didn’t matter because Sunderland won 3-0. We had to take the money back again.

[That meant Orient needed to beat Bury at Brisbane Road in their final game of the season and hope that Swansea could take a point or two off Sunderland at Vetch Field.] We knew we had to win to give ourselves any chance, but I don’t think anyone would have given Swansea that result.

It was very tense in the dressing room. The most tense I’ve ever been before a game. Johnny Carey said, ‘Come on lads you’ve got to do it today. This is the day. Don’t worry about Sunderland and Swansea. If you win today you’ve done your best.’

[Orient went 1-0 up at in the first half, but Sunderland were also winning 1-0 against Swansea. Then, in the second half, Swansea equalised – and a roar went up at Brisbane Road] It was tremendous. The buzz coming from the crowd was fantastic. I don’t think Bury would have scored that day – it would have been over dead bodies. The spirit that was in that side!

When the final whistle went it was the most wonderful feeling. You couldn’t feel any better. I remember being chaired off the pitch, then we all stood up on the steps. It was fantastic.

We all got a bit drunk that evening. We went to the local fish and chip shop in Leyton and carried on from there.

A few days later we went on a club trip to Majorca. It was fantastic – there was some drinking there! I remember betting the coach Eddie Baily 100 pesetas that I could walk across the swimming pool – that I could walk on water. I was fully dressed and went to walk across the water. Obviously I went straight in. I had to hang all the pesetas on the line to dry them.

That summer I also had a lucky escape. I’d been down to Eastbourne to pick my mother up from a holiday, and I dropped her off at the pub then I had a couple of drinks. As I was driving home across Clapham Common at about 1:30 in the morning I fell asleep at the wheel as I was coming up to a bend. The next thing I knew I’d hit a bollard.

I was with a lady – she was alright, but I’d gashed my eye open and cut my chest and my knee. An ambulance arrived to take me to hospital, and just before it left a policeman jumped in. Obviously I was worried because I’d been drinking. The copper said to me, ‘Here’s the contents from your van. There’s a picture of Orient here.’

I told him that I was the skipper, and he said that he played for the Metropolitan Police. He asked me what had happened and I told him that I’d fallen asleep at the wheel. He said, ‘Are you sure you want to say that?’ I said, ‘Well, that’s the truth.’ But I never heard another thing about it. There was no breathalyser in those days, but you couldn’t drive after drinking. I could have been in trouble were he not a football fan.

Before we started our first ever season in Division One, Johnny Carey had said we didn’t need to buy any new players. I didn’t agree. We needed more goals. We needed to sign someone to give Dave Dunmore a bit of assistance up there. There was an inside-forward at Southampton at the time called George O’Brien, who eventually did come to Orient in March 1966, and I badly wanted Johnny to sign him. I think he would have made the difference.

Our first game was against Arsenal and I knew most of their team having played there a few years earlier. It was a proud moment. But it was tough in that division. A few players had played in Division One before – myself, Dave Dunmore, Eddie Lewis – but we weren’t that experienced a side. I did think we might be able to hang on – we lost a lot of games by the odd goal – but we weren’t good enough for sure.

I remember when we played Everton at Goodison Park the Liverpool manager Bill Shankly asked Johnny Carey if he could give us a pep talk. He came into our dressing room and said that there are only two teams in Liverpool – Liverpool and Liverpool reserves. He was a terrific character. He told us that we could run the socks off Everton that day. We got beaten 3-0!

But back at Brisbane Road he was proved right. They weren’t the side we played at Everton. They weren’t up for it, and we were. As a unit we were good. This time we won 3-0.

Stan in 2008

In the last game of the season Manchester United needed to beat us to avoid relegation. It was at Old Trafford and I scored an own goal. I kept them in the first division! Bobby Charlton took a corner, I went to head it off the near post and I didn’t quite catch it right and it went straight in the back of the net. I laugh about it now but I was sick at the time.

But all through that season the team spirit was good. Even though we got relegated we never ever got downhearted. We enjoyed being in the division, the grounds, the crowds. Some of the lads had never played at places like that. It was a wonderful experience.”

You can read the full story of Stan's time at Orient in the book Leyton Orient Greats

Leyton Orient 2 Tranmere Rovers 1, 9/2/13

Slade sells Laird to Southend

A game in which... Orient could afford to miss a penalty, two point-blank headers, a one-on-one and a hatful of other chances yet still overcome high-flying Tranmere. They say the table doesn't lie but on the evidence of this match it was telling the biggest porkie since Russell Slade phoned up Paul Sturrock and said, "Yeah, Lairdy can do a job for you."

Make no mistake, this was a hugely impressive victory - perhaps the performance of the season so far - and Orient dominated the league leaders throughout the match. Dangerous going forward, resolute at the back... If we keep playing like this every week we're going to be at Wembley twice this season.

Moment of magic... A real life Charlie MacDonald goal, something previously thought only to exist in the imagination of Kevin Nugent and as a doctored entry on the striker's Wikipedia page. Yes, this was a much-improved performance by the former Brentford man - a nuisance to the Tranmere defence throughout - and with his first-half header he's already equalled the heady heights of Jamie Cureton's Orient scoring record. Next on his hit list: Adrien Patulea (2 goals). 

Moment of madness... Another missed penalty - the second in a row - by Orient. Today Martin Rowlands was the guilty party (albeit denied by a great save) meaning that the next time we have a spot kick it's anyone's guess who'll be taking the honours. Perhaps we could re-sign reliable spot-kicker Adam Boyd purely for the purposes of taking penalties and doing fancy but ultimately pointless flicks that none of the rest of the team can read? Given he's currently playing in the Northern League - the ninth tier of English football - he'd probably jump at the chance. If he could jump, that is. 

Knight in shining armour... What a joy it is to watch Mathieu Baudry in action, elegantly commanding the defence and casually picking out passes with the sort of effortless cool he no doubt employs when selecting which of the opposition players' wives he'll deign to sleep with after the match. If this is what happens when you grow up eating horse meat, as Baudry did in his native France, then the whole squad should stock up on Findus Beef Lasagnes immediately. 

Pantomime horse... No bad performances from anyone in an Orient shirt today, although Lloyd James will no doubt be flagellating himself with a leek while listening to Stereophonics B-sides to atone for somehow failing to connect with a point-blank header in front of goal in the first few minutes of the game.  

In the dug out... Today Russell Slade was as animated as one of the Disney cartoons Kevin Dearden enjoys of a Saturday evening. Indeed, when Charlie MacDonald had the ball in the net in the second half the manager set off on one of his famed celebratory jigs, bounding along the touchline with all the enthusiasm of a simpleminded farm hand attempting an egg-and-spoon race after 12 pints of scrumpy. Unfortunately the goal was called offside and Russell had to sheepishly slink back to the dug out again. 

Meanwhile on Twitter... With the launch of the Leyton Orient sticker album today, there's already been some frenetic trading across Twitter among fans. One punter was in despair at his inability to swap his surplus Michael Symes sticker until, surprisingly, he was contacted by Burton Albion manager Gary Rowett who offered to exchange it for the actual Michael Symes. Obviously the fan turned him down. 

Dean Morgan playing for Orient

Statto corner... The last time Orient beat a team residing at the top of the League One table was when Martin Ling's side beat MK Dons back in January 2009. That day Dean Morgan confounded the entire MK Dons team by lying on the ground screaming and crying for a full 38 minutes after almost being lightly brushed on the arm during a tussle for the ball, allowing Stephen Purches to ghost through and score the winner unnoticed. 

Johnstone's Paint Trophy: Leyton Orient 0 Southend United 1, 5/2/13

Paul Sturrock... or is it Christopher Biggins?

A game which... demonstrated that while losing football matches is always painful, defeat to Southend is like being strapped to a bed of spikes, set on fire and made to watch Paul Sturrock slowly disrobe. But Orient have only themselves to blame, really: they created enough chances to be 47-0 up at half-time but failed to convert any of them and then did a passable impression of an average League Two side - Southend, for example - for the final 45 minutes. Still, if we win at Roots Hall it will have been worth losing just to have temporarily got the Shrimpers fans' hopes up.

Moment of magic... One driving run from Shaun Batt in the first half that teed up David Mooney perfectly to slot in from the six-yard box. Or at least it would have done had Mooney's first touch not taken the ball to somewhere just outside of Epping. Yes, while both strikers did plenty of good work in creating opportunities, unfortunately neither had the wherewithal to actually put the ball in the net when it mattered.

Moment of madness... Mathieu Baudry's inexplicably weak header in the lead-up to the Southend goal, which hung invitingly in the air for so long that Ben Chorley, watching at home on Sky, had time to send a fax to the club office berating the Frenchman for his ineptitude.

Knight in shining armour... No one particularly covered themselves in glory tonight so let's instead focus on the fact that Jamie Jones - after an uncharacteristically nervous performance against Stevenage - was commanding his area with much more authority. At one point in the first half he charged off his line with all the speed of a Scouse autograph hunter who's just spotted Cilla Black having a ciggy with Atomic Kitten and the entire cast of Brookside.

Pantomime villains... The Southend fans, of course, who did themselves proud by ripping up the seats in the East Stand. I guess they still haven't forgiven us for selling them Marc Laird.

In the dug out... "Don't worry, it's only half-time," said Russell at the end of the game, confusing poor Jimmy Smith who was still to be seen running round the pitch at 10:30pm wondering why he was being afforded so much time and space on the ball. Still didn't score, mind.

Statto corner... Back in the early 90s manager Peter Eustace didn't pay the Football League Trophy - or the Beaphar Care-plus Hamster Food Trophy as it was known then - as much respect as Russell Slade does now. In a first round game against Brentford in 1993, for example, the Orient team contained three ball boys, two tea ladies and five members of the local Women's Institute. "We would have won if I hadn't also given Colin West a run out," said Eustace.

Stevenage 0 Leyton Orient 1, 2/2/13

A game which... was a momentous one for Leyton Orient fans, for after years of enduring the woeful likes of Sam Parkin, James Scowcroft, Calvin Andrew and Michael Symes, we finally got to witness a 'big striker' doing things like 'winning headers', 'using his strength' and 'causing problems'. Yes, Shaun Batt is the sort of imposing target man that Martin Ling has lurid, lascivious dreams about at night, only to wake up the next morning to the horrific reality that he's actually signed Ryan Jarvis.

In his 65 minutes on the pitch the Millwall loanee helped create chance after chance for Charlie MacDonald to fluff, allowing Orient to record an impressive away win to which the 1-0 scoreline doesn't do justice - it could have been many more.

David Mooney

Moment of magic... An outrageous bit of skill by David Mooney who, with no one near him, somehow managed to nutmeg himself and tread on the ball, thus ending up spreadeagled on the ground like a baby giraffe that's just tried - and failed - to take its first tentative steps. Altogether now: "There's only one David Mooney / One David Mooney / He used to be shite, now he's still mostly shite but sometimes alright / Walking in a Mooney wonderland..."`

Moment of madness... You can see why Russell Slade wanted to keep Jimmy Smith fresh ahead of Tuesday's big game against Southend, but resting him actually on the pitch in midfield was a bit bizarre.

Knight in shining armour... With Ben Chorley lining up for the opposition ("I didn't want to leave, but when Sweens borrowed a bit of my shower gel without asking in 2010 I knew there was no way back") it allowed Scott Cuthbert to prove that he's the best central defender at the club apart from Mathieu Baudry. Yes, the craggy Scot was immense - just as he was against Stevenage last season - and whenever a stray ball spooned up off of Anthony Griffith's shin, Cuthbert was there to mop it up.

Not Jamie Jones

Pantomime horse... What has happened to Jamie Jones? Where once he used to command his penalty area with all the confidence of a youthful Warren Beatty strutting into a cheerleaders' convention, now he quivers under crosses like a late-developing teenager fumbling with his very first bra strap. He's still a great shot-stopper, mind (and pulled off two classy saves in this match), but is all over the place when coming off his line.

In the dug out... What a joy it must have been for Russell Slade to rest players in advance of an important cup game and still field a team capable of winning away from home. Had Geraint Williams tried a similar thing his second string would have had to include Adrien Patulea, Loick Pires and a 6ft blow-up doll on wheels. Or worse, Mike Cestor.

Meanwhile on Twitter... "Cox almost messed up that simple goal" tweeted fan Daniel Boyce after the game, a sentiment echoed by fellow tweeter Simon Weston who chimed "Well said mate". But little did they expect the man himself to be meticulously trawling Twitter for any mention of his name: "Well said mate?" replied Tiny, in what's known in the social media world as "Doing a Jimmy Smith".

Statto corner... In Ben Chorley's 131 appearances for the club, Orient conceded 197 goals. Responsibility for the mistakes that led to those goals were as follows:

179 Leon McSweeney
8 Jamie Jones
6 Scott Cuthbert
4 Stephen Purches
0 Ben Chorley

(Statistics © Ben Chorley)

Leyton Orient 0 Swindon Town 0, 29/1/13

Paolo Di Canio

A game in which... Orient did well to draw against a classy side whose principle weapon of attack appeared to be taking throw-ins 10 yards further up the pitch than they should have been. Yes, under the direction of a wildly gesticulating and apparently deranged Italian traffic cop who'd presumably ended up in the opposition dug out after a 48-hour ketamine binge, Swindon dominated possession in swirling conditions. But, the Os defence held firm to come away with an important point. 

Moment of magic... Mathieu Baudry calmly and elegantly dribbling his way out of his own penalty area in the first half with such Gallic flair it was a wonder he didn't then light up a Gitane, don a beret and disdainfully pick at a plate of Brie. 

Moment of madness... When Andy D'Urso - a referee unencumbered by traditional notions of consistency - refused to award a penalty for a trip on Moses Odubajo in the second half, thus denying David Mooney the opportunity to shoot tamely into the goalkeeper's arms from 12 yards.       

Knight in shining armour... All the back four were in fine form today, but Scott Cuthbert should get a special mention for some scything tackles, last-ditch defending and a cheeky little handball right before Swindon hit the post in the second half. 

Pantomime villain... Paolo Di Canio, whose relentless stream-of-consciousness ranting and pantomime preening really was something to behold. Most of it was directed at assistant manager Fabrizio Piccareta, who during matches must feel like a babysitter charged with trying to control an attention-deficient toddler who's just mainlined three litres of Sunny Delight and decided to single-handedly re-enact every scene from Annie the Musical.  

In the dug out... Faced with the sophisticated tactics of a sharply-dressed Italian in the opposition dug out, Big Russ did what any self-respecting League One manager would do and instructed his team to: "FUCKING LUMP IT UP TO MOONS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS." To be honest, given the condition of the pitch it was probably the best thing to do, and were it not for a classy save from Swindon keeper Wes Foderingham from Jimmy Smith's shot at the death, Orient could have snatched a slightly undeserved but battling victory. 

View from the opposition... "First half we dominated and deserved a goal," says Swindon fan Dan Johnson. "Richie ran the show. But in the second half Orient started to play and we were poor. Good point for the Os but a poor result for Town. Odubajo was very good and caused us problems. Foderingham once again spared our blushes."

Orient defend a corner

Statto corner... Today's pitch was the muddiest since a game against Hull City in January 1976. "I was up to my knees in it so could hardly move," recalled striker Micky Bullock. "Which was lucky really as I'd had 37 pints the night before with Bill Roffey and Gerry Queen."

Leyton Orient 2 Notts County 1, 26/1/13

Today's match officials

A game in which... Orient recorded an impressive victory despite facing significant obstacles: Notts County's 22-game unbeaten away record; officiating apparently inspired by popular clown routines of the early 19th-century; and the fact the defence had to tame an opposition No.9 playing with all the elegance of an irate rhinoceros rampaging through a dolls' house.

Initially Orient looked like they might succumb to their old party trick of failing to convert pressure into goals - indeed, so many chances went begging that even substitute Michael Symes was moved to put down his bag of doughnuts, lick his lips and proclaim: "Reckon I could have put one of them away." But no matter, when it came to it, Mooney and Baudry put the ball in the net to send the Os soaring to exactly the same place in the table as they were before the game kicked off.

Moment of magic... The point at which official Lee Collins gave credence to the chant "You're not fit to referee" by, well, not being fit to referee and leaving the pitch midway through the second half. Apparently he'd inadvertently swallowed his one remaining brain cell, hence explaining some of his decisions earlier in the match.

Bartosz Bialkowski: time waster

Moment of madness... The South Stand's decision to boo County's Bartosz Bialkowski for having the temerity to require treatment after being kicked in the head by Charlie MacDonald. Next week: Orient fans rage at Swindon's goalkeeper for time-wasting after his arm is lopped off in a bizarre clash with David Mooney.

Knight in shining armour... Tough one this. Baudry, Cook, Chorley and Odubajo all class, but perhaps Martin Rowlands edges it as the architect of Orient's attacking play. One 50-yard pass to Lee Cook in the first half was particularly sumptuous, and the only blot on his copybook was a missed free kick - presumably he can only score when opposition fans are calling him a cunt.

Pantomime horse... Incredibly Charlie MacDonald managed to go through the entire match without touching the ball a single time - some feat given the game lasted about four hours. Yes, for a self-proclaimed goal-poacher the former Brentford man was conspicuous by his absence on the numerous occasions that the ball bobbled inviting around the County six-yard box. Less a fox in the box, more a dozy gerbil wandering aimlessly through a field.

In the dug out... Never let it be said that all Kevin Dearden does in a match is sit there idly doodling on an A4 pad while repeatedly breaking wind and wondering whether to have Findus crispy pancakes or a bumper pack of Hula Hoops for dinner. Never let that be said. Today Orient's goalkeeping coach was so incensed by the performance of the referee that he left his seat - no mean feat - and confronted the official. "Kev made his views pretty clear to me," said the referee after the match. "Apparently he reckons KFC is better than Nandos."

Meanwhile on Twitter... "Piss bored today so experimenting by launching a blog" revealed resident Brisbane Road brainbox Leon McSweeney this week, breaking all traditions of player tweeting by failing to make any spelling mistakes. The blog is good too. "Will hopefully stay inspired to write one regularly," he wrote later - although he won't be able to count on the readership of Lloyd James, who replied simply, "Please don't." Charming.

Statto corner... In the days before fourth officials, should a referee get injured during a game clubs had to be more creative around how they replaced them. In a game against Bradford City in 1994, for example, striker Colin West was required to both play up front and run the line for the last 35 minutes of the match after the referee pulled his hamstring. He would have scored a last-minute winner but for the fact he incorrectly flagged himself offside.

FA Cup: Leyton Orient 1 Hull City 2 (aet), 15/1/13

Steve Bruce

A game which... proved there's no justice in the world. Why, for example, should poor Steve Bruce have to go through life with a face like a boiled cauliflower that's been repeatedly hurled into a concrete wall? And more pertinently, how can Orient be out of the FA Cup despite out-playing opponents whose expensively-assembled squad is worth the equivalent of about 248 Ben Chorleys - or 32 billion Marc Lairds.

Yes, Orient did their fans proud with a committed display of intelligent, passing football and but for a number of 'what ifs?' - what if Lee Cook's legitimate goal hadn't been disallowed? What if Michael Symes didn't exist? - could have ended the game victorious.

Moment of magic... Dean Cox's goal just minutes before the final whistle, in which Hull's catastrophe of a goalkeeper Eldin Jakupovic (think Marek Stech with no hands - or eyes) helpfully let a relatively innocuous cross float into the far corner of the net.

Moment of madness... Steve Bruce's unprovoked and inexplicable decision to taunt home fans in the West Stand after Hull's winning goal, an action that had all the class of a millionaire playboy goading an impoverished blind orphan for losing a game of I Spy.

Knight in shining armour... When Orient left the pitch they did so as ten heroes and Michael Symes, so it's difficult to single out one man of the match. Cox, Cook and Odubajo were all superb, but let's take a moment to hail the contribution of Lloyd James, whose performances in midfield are becoming more and more tidy and effective.

Michael Symes

Pantomime horse... To put it charitably, substitute Michael Symes lacked a bit of sharpness - much as a knife would were you to construct it entirely out of blancmange. Still, within another car crash of a performance there was one positive: the big striker is now managing to time his leaps to within just a few seconds of the ball arriving somewhere near his head and in a few months' time may have refined his technique to the point where he actually wins a knock on. Just kidding, he won't.

Russell Slade

In the dug out... Russell's got a new hat. Either that or a local granny has knitted a tea cosy and placed it on top of a giant egg. Still, with the players he had at his disposal the manager got it spot on tactically and ensured that his team were dominant throughout the 120 minutes.

Meanwhile on Twitter... More Anglo-French madness from Mathieu Baudry who this week related a harrowing tale of woe that really exposes the difficulties and hardships a modern footballer has to face: "put the water for a cold bath> nealry forgot it> bath too full > decide to take off water for a bit> forgot it > bath empty." Come back Jimmy Smith, all is forgiven. (Well, it would be if you hadn't missed that point blank header in the first half.)

Statto corner... At -5 degrees the temperature at Brisbane Road was the lowest since a match in January 1953 against Southend. "There were 19ft of snow on the pitch that day, but we played on, not like the namby pamby footballers of today," remembered burly centre back Stan Aldous. "I had a broken neck and bubonic plague too - just ran them both off."