07 December 2014

Johnstone's Paint Trophy: Gillingham 1 Leyton Orient 0, 7/12/14

A game which... served as a telling – if rather depressing – counterpoint to the 5-1 victory that Orient enjoyed over Gillingham just eight months ago, when we ran them ragged and scored this incredible team goal. But we've plummeted such depths since then it's a surprise the team don't run out wearing deep-sea diving suits.

In fact, that wouldn't have made them any less mobile, because to be less mobile than today's performance would be impossible. I mean, yes, we did knock the ball around a bit in the first two-thirds of the pitch and fashion a couple of half-chances, but it was all pretty uninspiring. Chuck in the inevitable concession from a set piece and Orient's season is now swimming with the fishes.

Jump off your seat moment... There were no jump off your seat moments. But I did slightly raise one eyebrow in anticipation when substitute Shaun Batt crossed into the path of Bradley Pritchard who appeared to only have to breath on the ball to put it into the open net. Instead he chose to collapse in a heap on the ground so I could happily return my eyebrow to its default Orient 2014/15 setting of weary resignation.

Give that man a medal... Well done Gary Sawyer who was flawless in defence and provided a hint of attacking impetus. Maybe he could play left back, Dossena left midfield and Cox right midfield? God knows we have to try something different. Maybe he could play in goal and Legzdins up front? Maybe Mooney could play in central defence? Maybe Jobi McAnuff could play at all?

Taxi for... Gianvito Plasmati. Now, if the giant Italian is standing still – I say "if", obviously I mean "when" – then he is perfectly adapt at trapping the ball and then laying it off for someone else to cock up. Other than that he appears to have very little other use on a football pitch. Indeed, despite his height he rarely even wins headers, which means he's the worst jumper since this little number sported by Lloyd James.

"Fuck the technical shit..." "To score obviously makes a difference in this sport," said Mauro Milanese after the game, suggesting he really is almost at the point where he actually knows what he's doing. Five straight away defeats and just two victories (against one side bottom of League One and one side in League Two) in his eight games in charge doesn't bode particularly well for the future though.

Meanwhile on Linked In... Let's step away from the gloom of Orient for a moment to stalk today's referee Trevor Kettle on Linked In.

The Business Development Executive and worst referee in the whole of human history claims that he "thrives of delivering quality output". If you say so Trevor. "My strengths are my inter-personnel" he adds, somehow managing to break at least 14 different rules of grammar in one five-word phrase and possibly contradicting his later assertion that he has "excellent communication skills".

Still, he also says he's good at "simplifying complex matters and providing clear guidance." Want to be manager of Orient pal?


  1. Is Plasmati part giraffe ? He's tall but can't jump.

  2. Keep the humour coming Matt. We need it!

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