22 December 2013

Leyton Orient 2 Crawley Town 3, 21/12/13

A game in which... Crawley proved they are so much more than Orient's bogey team - more like a huge, festering globule of mucus stuck up the nasal cavity of League One. No offence, hey, because in fact the West Sussex side were worth the three points.

So Orient aren't hitting the heights of their early season form of late - no victories in the last four league games - but then again we'll be top of the league on 25 December. And back in August, even if the news emerged that Santa had developed a debilitating addiction to crystal meth, no one would have expected the bearded fella to deliver a gift like that to Brisbane Road on Christmas Day. 

Moment of magic... Nathan Clarke's goal-line clearance from Nicky Adams' lob in the second half, a physics-defying block that prevented Crawley from going 4-1 up - a scoreline that would have been as hideously embarrassing as losing a pub quiz to a team comprising Jimmy Smith and three jellyfish.

Trevor Kettle
Moment of madness... The moment the young Trevor Kettle thought to himself: "Traffic warden? Nope. Ticket inspector? Nope. Debt collector? Nope. Supreme leader of North Korea? Nope. What I really need is a career where I can wield disproportionate amounts of power and ruin thousands of people's day at the same time. I know: referee!" And while he's not the reason Orient lost, Kettle's bookings of both Batt and Alexander, plus a bizarre drop ball after Lisbie was flattened, upheld his reputation as one of the worst officials in the whole history of the entire universe.  

Top gun... Excellent effort by the aforementioned Nathan Clarke today, and Scott Cuthbert was pretty impressive too, but let's take the time to hail an unsung hero: Gary Sawyer. Yes, the left back took the opportunity of Elliot Omozusi's suspension to remind fans that while he's no Matt Lockwood or Charlie Daniels, he's worth about four Billy Joneses, or 48 billion Danny Granvilles. 

Little donkey... "Worst I played for a long time" wrote Mathieu Baudry on Twitter shortly after the game, and it's true that by his own very high standards he had something of a shocker. He was directly responsible for Crawley's third goal after giving the ball away, missed three presentable headers from corners and his distribution was uncharacteristically sloppy. Still, we can't blame the Frenchman for everything: I'm pretty sure he wasn't involved in the Gallic invasion of Britain in 1797, and he's in no way culpable for the poor quality of the latest Daft Punk album. 

In the dug out... With both Mooney and Omozusi suspended, Russell Slade hardly needed any more bad news. But when Dean Cox was also ruled out for "toothache" - apparently sulking because the tooth fairy had forgotten to leave 50 pence under his pillow - the manager really had his work cut out. Still, we were always going to have a blip at some point and despite that we're still top of the league. And, remember: Slade's teams tend to improve after Christmas, which means promotion is still a realistic ambition.

View from the opposition... "What a result against top of the league. lads worked there socks off" wrote Nicky Adams after the game, scurrying around the conventions of grammar like the tricky winger he is. The one-time Orient loanee is right though: Crawley were better than the home side across the park. Given they have a 100 per cent record against us (beating Orient home and away in 2012/13) it may be easier if we just give them the six points at the start of each season and take the opportunity to rest key players.

Tweet of the week... "Are you sure it's my 30th? Can't be," wrote ex-Orient goalkeeper Glenn Morris to his own wife on Twitter this week, suggesting that for him birthdays are just as confusing as trying to kick a football vaguely in the direction of his team mates. 

Fact of the day... It's actually scientifically impossible for Orient to beat a team containing Gary Alexander. It's known in physics as "The Law of Fat-Ass". In fact the one-time Brisbane Road striker did everything you'd expect of him today: led the line brilliantly, caused a nuisance to the defence, missed a penalty, fluffed a sitter and fell to the ground screaming like an eight-year-old girl watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre every time he went up for a header.  


  1. Surprised no mention of Alexander's new weave - specially dyed for the occasion. Graham Gooch would be proud

  2. Mathieu Baudry and that third goal. I was in the stand behind the goal and noticed around a minute earlier that he had dropped off his marker completely. He seemed unable to run. It cleared up after a couple of minutes but by then it was 1-3.
    I have no idea what caused it.

    I'm a Bournemouth supporter who was in the area and wanted to see how our two ex-players (both called M****** B****y, give or take a *) were doing.
    One was excellent but screwed up for a goal, one screwed up just after he came on but then scored.

    The Orient team I saw yesterday will be toast in the Championship if they play anything like that.

    What's the deal about moving to the Olympic Stadium? One of the reasons Darlington went down the tubes was that they had a massive ground which was 5% full and had the atmosphere of a graveyard. I'm worried.

    1. We'll be toast in League One is we keep playing like that, let alone the Championship.

      Re: Olympic Stadium - read this:

    2. Anon/Bournemouth here.

      There were under 5000 there the Saturday before Christmas with LO top of the league. Admittedly the weather could have been a lot better but most of the seats are covered. Your ground is appropriate for where you are now, it looked around half-full, or half-empty!
      I suppose there is no chance of you buying your ground back.

      We have a sale+leaseback arrangement with Structdene and Eddie Mitchell - the previous boss - tried to buy the ground back. They refused. Your current owner appears more benign at present but that article you linked to made far too much sense.

      Here's hoping for a sustainable Leyton Orient based in East London. Cheers guys.

  3. ha ha orient is rubbish dey is get relgated n garbage ha ha der fans smell like my bum ha ha ha suck ha ha

  4. Brentford won tho so it's not all bad.

  5. Clarke's goal-line clearance came after poor marking by Baudry, who then decided he couldn't be arsed to chase back and let the Creep.. sorry, Crawley player have a free shot at goal

    1. There were a couple of minutes when Baudry did not seem capable of running and I could not see why. Was he nobbled? If so then no-one saw it happen.

      anon/afcb. I'll sign off now.

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