28 October 2012

Leyton Orient 0 Coventry City 1, 27/10/12

A game which... began as a real Thriller, albeit only because of the Cheery Os' pre-match routine to the iconic Michael Jackson song. As a portent for what would follow a better choice would have been Useless by Depeche Mode, Frank Sinatra's Send In The Clowns or the Godsmack anthem I Fucking Hate You (although that one's less easy to dance to in hotpants).

Anyway, yeah, the football. Coventry were a poor side low on confidence - but luckily for them they met an even poorer one playing with abject fear. Two goals in the last seven games tells its own story, and while it's likely Orient will score before they're finally put out of business by an Olympic Stadium-residing West Ham, it is hard to see where a goal - let alone a win - is going to come from at the moment.

Moment of magic... Scott Wagstaff's backwards header in the first half that would have looped into the net had Coventry keeper Joe Murphy not just about managed to flap the ball into the path of David Mooney - presumably figuring that was a safer option than putting it out for a corner.

Moment of madness... Ryan Allsop's wince-inducing error that led to the Coventry goal. Sure, he let a tame shot spill out of his grasp, but the young stopper has been virtually flawless this season so we shouldn't punish him too much for the mistake. A couple of Chinese burns and a wedgie should suffice.

Knight in shining armour... David Mooney. Yes, it has come to this. The much-maligned striker (*guilty look*) was relatively lively and behind the few vague chances we actually had to score. That said, hailing David Mooney as the best player in a football team is a bit like claiming that Paris Hilton gives the stand out performance in a film. Chances are it's still going to be shit.

Pantomime horse... By his own standards, Dean Cox had a particularly bad game characterised by skewed shots and misplaced passes. Of course, for him playing at Brisbane Road must feel a bit like Jay-Z trying to rap with the Blazin' Squad, but if we have even the slightest chance of avoiding relegation then Tiny's going to have to find some way to raise his game.

In the dug out... Russell Slade's post-match comments are increasingly sounding like the deluded ravings of a madman. Today's gems included: "We created chances, that's the important thing." No, Russell, the "important thing" is actually scoring them. Or not always losing.

Meanwhile on Twitter... Apocalyptic news on Twitter this week as Jimmy Smith has packed his bags and #LEGOOOOO-ed into the social media sunset. For reasons unknown the midfielder has killed his account, leaving fans unsure as to whether at any given time he is "#fuming" or "gettin a trim #lookingoooood" or "game time #buzzing" or "treating the crib" or threatening fans with violence. For now, then, anyone who wants to get an insight into Jimmy's mind will have to make do with reading a 2004 copy of Zoo magazine.

Statto corner... The last time Orient scored as few goals in their first 16 games - just 11 so far - was back in 2008/09 when Martin Ling's increasingly deranged quest for a 'big striker' led him to play on-loan Sam Parkin alongside a 7ft step-ladder.
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