18 February 2012

Leyton Orient 1 Scunthorpe United 3, 18/2/12

Jon Parkin
A game in which... Scunthorpe started with one simple tactic: wrestling Orient players to the ground at every available opportunity. (And had even taken the bold step of employing Giant Haystacks as a lone striker to help them do so.) The Os dealt with this fairly effectively in the first half, such that in the second the Iron had to resort to playing actual football, something that Orient are clearly unable to cope with at Brisbane Road. So, yet again, an impressive away victory has been followed up by a woeful performance at home. Sigh.

Moment of magic... Scott Cuthbert's fingertip save in the final minutes after he'd taken the gloves in place of the injured Lee Butcher, instantly elevating him above Stuart Nelson, Glenn Morris, Ashley Bayes and Lee Harrison in the list of Orient's best goalkeepers of this century. 

Moment of madness... Jon Parkin's ludicrous decision to shoot from near on 40 yards in the second half. His effort - which looped apologetically towards the corner flag - bore all the finesse of a rhinoceros trying to perform Swan Lake. 

Knight in shining armour... Once again selecting an Orient man of the match is like trying to figure out which is the best episode of Piers Morgan's Life Stories. The answer, of course, is none of them. Lisbie worked hard, Ryan Dickson seemed solid and debutant Soloman Taiwo looked vaguely promising - like an incomplete version of Stephen Dawson with less inclination to mouth off to opposing players and the referee. 

Dean Leacock
Pantomime horse... Russell Slade described Dean Leacock as his 'Rolls Royce', though unfortunately on this underwhelming performance the defender was more reminiscent of a malfunctioning Kia Picanto. 

In the dug out... Russell Slade made a real slip-up today - and I don't just mean his decision to bring on David Mooney. The manager actually slipped over in the rain, which would have been funny save for the fact that Jonathan Tehoue clearly interpreted the gesture as his instructions for the game and proceeded to follow suit for 90 minutes. 

Andy Barcham
A word on the opposition... No surprise to see former O and part-time Shrek impersonator Andy Barcham get on the scoresheet, and to be fair to Scunthorpe they took the game to the hosts in the second half and didn't look like a team that are sitting in the bottom four. Orient took that honour on their behalf.

Meanwhile on Twitter... George Porter is Orient's ladies' man-in-residence on Twitter and frequently regales the opposite sex with tweety charmers that go along the lines of "Hey fit birds why don't U ware tighter clothes?" Valentine's Day, then, gave him a perfect opportunity to share the love. Instead, however, he tweeted this: "I bet that at least 75% per cent of people in a relationship have cheated on there partner.... happy valentines day you dreamers!! X" Charming. Still, Georgie's a little misunderstood, as he himself later explained: "I wish people would see me for who I am not my massive 6 pack haa."

Lesson for the day... Given that the main positive of the day was Scott Cuthbert's performance in goal, perhaps playing people out of their natural position is the way forward? Lee Butcher in midfield? Kevin Lisbie at left back? David Mooney as a striker? Oh, hang on...
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