Leyton Orient 0 MK Dons 0, 18/10/14

A game which... optimists might describe as a point gained, pessimists would consider two points lost while everyone else will just ponder all the five billion ways they could have better spent that 90 minutes. Oh, Orient. Sure, you huffed and puffed a bit in the first half, but the contrast between this season and last – when you roared back from 1-0 down to beat MK Dons and remain top of the table – is huge. Huge, Nuge, huge...

Karl Robinson

Jump off your seat moment... For Karl Robinson it was every single moment the ball entered the Orient box, whereupon he'd leap around maniacally screeching for a phantom penalty. By the second half Orient's Kevin Dearden became so incensed with this behaviour that he confronted the MK manager, a scene which resembled an ill-conceived comedy sketch in which James Corden is berated by a giant slug.

Give that man a medal... A sterling performance from Shane Lowry today, including one Exocet of a shot with his left foot that, had it not bounced off the MK keeper, would probably by now be hurtling past Kiev. And he's no chicken when it comes to tackling either. Sorry. 

Darius Henderson

Taxi for... Darius Henderson. The big striker spent most of the game slugging it out with MK defender Kyle McFadzean like a punch-drunk ex-heavyweight persuaded back into the ring for one last shot at glory. Were Henderson starring in Rocky II, Rocky III, Rocky IV, Rocky V or Rocky: Assignment Miami Beach this would have constituted a fine performance. As a striker in League One, not so much. 

"Fuck the technical shit"... "I'm in charge of this football team," said Kevin Nugent defiantly after the game, ironically at the precise moment that his clandestine Italian paymasters were signing an unfit, low-scoring striker on his behalf. (Welcome to Orient, Gianvito Plasmati!) I can't even joke about this anymore: the fact that the club has not uttered a single word on Nugent's position is beyond belief, and it's a disgrace to treat a decent and loyal servant of Orient in this manner. 

Meanwhile in the programme... Props to Orient's media and communications officer Jonny Davies this week. Since the Italians introduced omertà to the club, Jonny now has exactly 24 hours of each day spare, so devoted some time to creating this sly little dig at Franchise FC – a heartfelt two-page paean to former Wimbledon home Plough Lane. Jonny: we're with you in spirit. 

Leyton Orient 2 MK Dons 1, 12/10/13

Karl Robinson

A game in which... Orient produced a victory almost as massive as Karl Robinson lookalike James Corden's ego. Yes, this was a big, big result. Big because it was against one of the best sides of the division; big because we came back from a goal down; big because it came off the back of three consecutive draws and a dip in form; and big because the team showed huge spirit in surviving a late - albeit very brief - onslaught from the Dons. A performance that would have made Laurie Cunningham proud.

Moment of magic... The moment in the 90th minute when Dean Cox charged fully 30 yards to chase down an innocuous ball on the touchline, slide-tackling and earning Orient a precious few seconds respite from MK Dons' pressure. The pocket-sized winger has come in for some stick for a couple of below-par performances in the last few weeks but he never lacks for commitment and put in a much-improved shift today.

Alan Smith: Reem

Moment of madness... How about the moment in 2002 when Iain Williamson was officially given licence to referee professional football matches? Or the moment MK Dons' Alan Smith looked in the mirror and thought to himself, 'Yeah, my hair's looking reem'? Or the moment when Orient legend Phil Hoadley took to the microphone at half-time clearly blind drunk and unable to prevent Brisbane Road's cut-price PA system from feeding back like an early-90s Nirvana gig? Take your pick.

Top gun... Where to even begin? Jamie Jones was flawless and pulled off one crucial point-blank save; Clarke, Baudry, Cuthbert and Vincelot were immense; Lloyd James was industrious and creative; Moses was lively and dangerous, especially in the first half; and Mooney and Lisbie combined brilliantly for the second goal. But let's hail another eye-catching performance from Elliot Omozusi, whose defensive endeavour and attacking fortitude were highly significant in today's victory.

The horror, the horror...

Little donkey... [NB: This section of my blog is officially suspended due to the totally unprecedented circumstances currently taking place at Leyton Orient Football Club in which it is impossible to pick out a single player who's putting a foot wrong. Instead here's a picture of Nathan Clarke terror-stricken at the blood-curdling horror of Lloyd James's fashion sense.]

In the dug out... Russell Slade has become quite the celebrity (check out the full-page interview in the Guardian today) and was besieged by a dozen or so press photographers as he emerged from the tunnel. "I haven't let all this attention go to my head," he said shortly afterwards, "but next week I am opening a new branch of Lidl in Epping with Peter Andre and the week after I'm launching my own range of perfume."

#fuming

View from the opposition... "Anyone in the crowd will tell you a defeat for us today wasn't fair, we were by far the better team," said MK Dons manager Karl Robinson, the most ludicrous statement heard at Brisbane Road since the time Jimmy Smith was heard complaining furiously in Theo's restuarant that he couldn't find a single toad in his toad-in-the-hole.

Tweet of the week... Another example of the everyday travails of a modern French footballer in England from Mathieu Baudry, who tweeted: "How about i pop out to the local store to get some meatballs ...come bk with everything bt not meatballs .im losing it." In next week's hilarious instalment a confused Mathieu goes to post a letter only to accidentally get elected as the Member of Parliament for Leyton & Wanstead.

Leyton Orient 2 MK Dons 0, 13/4/13

Andy D'Urso

A game in which... Referee Andy D'Urso ran around blowing his whistle like he was at an early 90s rave off his nut on ecstasy - and in the brief interludes in which he allowed some football to break out Orient managed to score two goals. Demented officiating aside, this was a hugely impressive and deserved victory against one of the division's big hitters. 

Moment of magic... A goal from the most unlikely Leyton Orient player. No, not Michael Symes but left back Gary Sawyer. The former Bristol Rovers man has been a quietly efficient performer this season and his first club goal was just reward for another classy display. 

Lee Cook on the bench today

Moment of madness... Russell Slade's decision to bring on Lee Cook into cold and rainy conditions when the winger was perfectly content sitting on the bench Googling cheap holiday options in Marbella on his iPhone. However, contrary to all expectations Cook actually put in a hell of a shift and nearly set up a couple more goals with his pinpoint crosses into the box. 

Knight in shining armour... Superb performances from Jamie Jones and Nathan Clarke in particular today, but the shining star was Romain Vincelot. Though his appearance suggests he's spent the previous night engaged in a particularly strenuous session of lovemaking at a backstreet Parisian brothel, he's rock solid in central defence and today repelled the MK Dons attack flawlessly. 

Pantomime horse... If football matches lasted 15 minutes then Jimmy Smith would be Fifa World Player of the Year, such is the ferocious intensity with which he plays the first quarter of an hour. Today's early-game cameo included a backheel to Moses Odubajo that was so cheeky it's a wonder MK Dons left back Dean Lewington didn't slap him round the face for his impudence. Unfortunately, as is so often the case, Smith played the remaining 75 minutes like a dwarf playing piggy in the middle against the Harlem Globetrotters. 

In the dug out... You've got to hand it to Russell, in a must-win game he threw all caution to the wind. Admittedly to him throwing all caution to the wind is leaving Lloyd James on the bench, but nonetheless the manager deserves huge plaudits for dragging his team one point away from the play-offs with two games to go. He even got a bear hug from Kevin Dearden for his troubles today, an experience something akin to a jellyfish being crushed in an industrial vice. 

View from the opposition... "Poor match, poor effort by the players," writes MK Dons fan Matthew Fensome. "Why this again when we could at least have tried to win?"

You're a girl, you like pink. Right? 

Meanwhile on Twitter... Today the official Leyton Orient Twitter feed showed that the club are doing their bit to drag feminism into the 18th century by tweeting a product from their new women's range - a pink hat. After all, girls couldn't possibly wear the same colour hats as men, could they? Also available are a pink Orient apron, a pink Orient feather duster and a book entitled The Orient Guide To The Offside Rule For Women (pink cover). Girl power! 

Statto corner... Kevin Lisbie's 16 league goals this season come from just 20 starts, a goals-to-games ratio bettered only by Ryan Jarvis during his first loan spell with the club in 2007. "Getting close to Jarvis has always been one of my ambitions," said a humble Lisbie after today's game. "Jarvis Cocker, that is."

Leyton Orient 0 MK Dons 3, 26/12/11

A game in which... it seemed apparent that the MK Dons squad had spent Christmas Day drinking protein shakes, doing one-handed press-ups and firing themselves up by watching the famous Battle of Agincourt speech from Henry V. The Orient team, meanwhile, had clearly passed the time with their heads stuck down a bumper-sized box of Quality Street while plumped on the sofa sniggering, burping and farting their way through Home Alone.

So despite a relatively bright first half in which, to be fair, Orient could have gone ahead if it wasn't for the fact that their finishing was about as clinical as an operating theatre located in a sewer, the home side fell apart in the second and allowed an impressive MK Dons side to totally dominate and record a deserved victory.

Moment of magic... Not many to choose from, but Lee Butcher did pull off an impressive reflex save with his feet in the second half, diverting a close range shot onto the underside of the crossbar. That said, moments later he was so transfixed by Adam Smith's 35-yard strike that he simply watched in wonder as it sailed into his top corner, almost as if he'd just witnessed the Star of Bethlehem in the east London sky.

Moment of madness... When Jamie Cureton found himself alone on the opposition six-yard box with the ball at his feet and no defender near him, yet still managed to skew the ball onto the post. The fact that he was actually offside is by the by - at this rate you'd get better odds on Barry Hearn revealing himself to be the real Santa Claus than 'the Orient Torres' actually getting the ball in the back of the net before the season's up.

Knight in shining armour... Terrell Forbes tends to go about his business with the quiet efficiency of a mild-mannered mortgage adviser, but seasoned Brisbane Road observers will note he's seldom put a foot wrong this season. Today, in particular, he was imperious at the back in the face of the impressive MK Dons frontline of Dean Bowditch and some fella name of Jabo.

Pantomime horse... Now, Scott Cuthbert has been in superb form in the centre of defence this season, but clearly isn't the answer at right back given that he's got all the delivery skills of a bicycle courier on acid. He's not helped by the Russell Slade's aversion to playing right midfielders in front of him but - and here's a sentence you probably thought would never exist in the whole history of time - it'll be good to have Leon McSweeney back.

In the dug out... Some slightly bemusing decisions from the big man today, not least taking off Matthew Spring to allow George Porter on, when surely Jimmy Smith was the more logical choice given that Spring was actually giving some level of control to Orient's passing, while Smith was, well, you know, running around in circles wondering whether he needed to trim his hair again tomorrow or the day after.

A word on the opposition... To keep things in perspective it should be noted that MK Dons are one of the best sides to rock up at Brisbane Road this season, and Orient did match them throughout the first half. Meanwhile, it's worth remembering that at the end of the 2007/08 season Orient replaced Jabo Ibehre with Ryan Jarvis, which is something akin to a car enthusiast trading in his Ferrari Superamerica 45 for a punctured space hopper.

Meanwhile on Twitter... Thanks to the magic of Twitter we get to discover what Orient players get up to on Christmas Day. Dean Cox was on chef duties, as we can see from this picture which, incredibly, was actually taken inside the kitchen of a doll's house. Scott Cuthbert, too (also pictured), was also cooking - either that or he's moonlighting as a cut-price stripper.

Jimmy Smith was as excitable as ever: "Family getting drunk mum is doing me head in lol have some off my water mum lol #LEGOOOOOO". George Porter, meanwhile, celebrated the festive season the only way he knows how: "They'll be some love making, heart breaking, soul shaking !!" he tweeted before settling down to watch Downtown Abbey on his own with a monster pack of Doritos.

Lesson for the day... Three, in fact. Don't let your best strikers leave! Try not to eat too many mince pies if you're a professional footballer! Right midfielders are helpful!