A game which... was so soul-destroyingly predictable that Francesco Becchetti might as well have given the squad a day off and instead broadcast a big-screen replay of one of the countless other insipid home defeats of his tenure. In fact, that is the sort of mental thing he might actually do.
Thing is, despite today's evidence to the contrary, the current squad does consist of decent players, but the lack of any discernible team spirit, determination, morale or collective responsibility is surely symptomatic of the toxic culture that now prevails at our once beloved club. Still, on the bright side, we're still five points clear of the relegation zone.
Jump off your seat moment... Didn't we get a corner at some point? In the context of the rest of the game we really should have celebrated that with champagne, a conga down the aisles, a victory bus tour through the streets of Leyton and a Roman orgy. What actually happened was that whoever took it - seriously, you expect me to remember who it was? - smashed it straight into the first defender. Probably. Whatever.
We won a corner! Celebrate!
Give that man a medal... Poor Jay Simpson. Surely the only thing worse than being frozen out of this team is actually having to play in this team, and so it was that the striker came on with 25 minutes to go. Lively he was too, albeit only in the sense that a three-toed sloth might be described as lively in comparison to 10 blocks of concrete.
Taxi for... Francesco Becchetti for airily wafting away the complaints of fans from his gallery standpoint as if he was a Roman emperor dismissively ordering the lions be set upon the bunch of fucking peasants he no doubt believes us to be. Come to think of it, don't discount the possibility that he might actually bring lions to Brisbane Road, for that would make about as much logical sense as sacking Dean Cox. Or signing Gianvito Plasmati. Or buying the club in the first place.
In the dug out... What, you may ask yourself, is Andy Hessenthaler – probably a decent enough bloke – doing here in the current circumstances? Well, one thing he's not doing is instructing his team to do anything other than lump the ball towards Jordan Bowery / Paul McCallum / Ollie Palmer and hope for the best. Anyway, it's a moot point for I suspect one or two more defeats will spell the end of his short tenure and Francesco Becchetti will finally cut out the middle man and simply appoint himself as manager.
Meanwhile in the press... Ben Chorley this week waded into the Orient controversy with the same type of reckless abandon with which he'd regularly decimate lower league strikers. "I think Orient could be in League Two for a few years yet," he said with so much optimism that we'll somehow avoid relegation to the conference that I can only assume he'd just drunk two pints of MDMA. He continued: "It's a great club. Everything around it is good, but the problem is the owner." Oh really, Ben? We thought it was all Leon McSweeney's fault...
A game which... was a momentous one for Leyton Orient fans, for after years of enduring the woeful likes of Sam Parkin, James Scowcroft, Calvin Andrew and Michael Symes, we finally got to witness a 'big striker' doing things like 'winning headers', 'using his strength' and 'causing problems'. Yes, Shaun Batt is the sort of imposing target man that Martin Ling has lurid, lascivious dreams about at night, only to wake up the next morning to the horrific reality that he's actually signed Ryan Jarvis.
In his 65 minutes on the pitch the Millwall loanee helped create chance after chance for Charlie MacDonald to fluff, allowing Orient to record an impressive away win to which the 1-0 scoreline doesn't do justice - it could have been many more.
David Mooney
Moment of magic... An outrageous bit of skill by David Mooney who, with no one near him, somehow managed to nutmeg himself and tread on the ball, thus ending up spreadeagled on the ground like a baby giraffe that's just tried - and failed - to take its first tentative steps. Altogether now: "There's only one David Mooney / One David Mooney / He used to be shite, now he's still mostly shite but sometimes alright / Walking in a Mooney wonderland..."`
Moment of madness... You can see why Russell Slade wanted to keep Jimmy Smith fresh ahead of Tuesday's big game against Southend, but resting him actually on the pitch in midfield was a bit bizarre.
Knight in shining armour... With Ben Chorley lining up for the opposition ("I didn't want to leave, but when Sweens borrowed a bit of my shower gel without asking in 2010 I knew there was no way back") it allowed Scott Cuthbert to prove that he's the best central defender at the club apart from Mathieu Baudry. Yes, the craggy Scot was immense - just as he was against Stevenage last season - and whenever a stray ball spooned up off of Anthony Griffith's shin, Cuthbert was there to mop it up.
Not Jamie Jones
Pantomime horse... What has happened to Jamie Jones? Where once he used to command his penalty area with all the confidence of a youthful Warren Beatty strutting into a cheerleaders' convention, now he quivers under crosses like a late-developing teenager fumbling with his very first bra strap. He's still a great shot-stopper, mind (and pulled off two classy saves in this match), but is all over the place when coming off his line.
In the dug out... What a joy it must have been for Russell Slade to rest players in advance of an important cup game and still field a team capable of winning away from home. Had Geraint Williams tried a similar thing his second string would have had to include Adrien Patulea, Loick Pires and a 6ft blow-up doll on wheels. Or worse, Mike Cestor.
Meanwhile on Twitter... "Cox almost messed up that simple goal" tweeted fan Daniel Boyce after the game, a sentiment echoed by fellow tweeter Simon Weston who chimed "Well said mate". But little did they expect the man himself to be meticulously trawling Twitter for any mention of his name: "Well said mate?" replied Tiny, in what's known in the social media world as "Doing a Jimmy Smith".
Statto corner... In Ben Chorley's 131 appearances for the club, Orient conceded 197 goals. Responsibility for the mistakes that led to those goals were as follows:
179 Leon McSweeney
8 Jamie Jones
6 Scott Cuthbert
4 Stephen Purches
0 Ben Chorley
A televised game which... Orient would have lost 58-4 were it not for the opposition's relentless targeting of the woodwork. Yes, if the footballers from the tiny, rural 16th century hamlet of Alfreton were playing crossbar challenge then they'd have won this game hands down.
As it was, they were unlucky to come away with nothing since for large parts of the game the Os were as somnolent as a Derbyshire villager trying to sleep off the 37 cans of cider he'd consumed at the local school fete. Luckily a couple of spells of control and four quality goals ensured Orient's passage to round three.
Small screen hero... If you ever need a striker to punish a defence composed of electricians, taxi drivers and school dinner ladies, then David Mooney is your man. The Irishman continued his recent run of good form with a lively display and two deftly-taken goals. For reasons best known to himself, however, he rather embarrassingly elected to celebrate the second by playing Pat-A-Cake, Pat-A-Cake, Baker's Man with Lee Cook.
Stage fright... Ben Chorley - who has been excellent of late - seemed to approach being in front of the cameras with all the confidence of a Hollyoaks extra asked to star in Othello alongside Kenneth Branagh.
Lee Cook still in the process
of leaving the pitch
TV burp... Lee Cook's ridiculous time-wasting in the second half, when he left the pitch after being substituted so slowly it was like watching someone try to run through a swamp in concrete boots. Or Michael Symes running unimpeded.
View from the opposition... "We should of won that game," said Alfreton player Ross Killock. And while a Alfreton victory wouldn't really have counted as a 'giant-killing' - more an unexpected rebuke of a dwarf by a six-year-old girl - they would probably have deserved it.
Meanwhile on Twitter... More bizarre Anglo-French banter from Mathieu Baudry, who tweeted earlier this week: "nice eveniing ... arms one fire after gym+lost my phone there" which presumably means he accidentally set himself alight at Fitness First before misplacing his Blackberry.
Statto corner... Orient still have a long way to go to beat the 1961/62 record of nine straight wins. The run was finally brought to an end in a 3-2 loss against Bristol Rovers after Sid Bishop, Cyril Lea and Dave Dunmore chose not to turn up until 40 minutes into the first half as they had half a crown on an insider-tipped greyhound at Walthamstow Dogs.
A game in which... Orient proved to Graham Westley for the third time in a row that when it comes to winning football matches, size isn't everything. Presumably the home side had prepared for the game by attempting to dribble round skyscrapers and slide-tackle tanks, and it paid off. The Os out-fought and out-played the opposition and - I can't believe I'm actually writing this - took their chances while Preston didn't. And what a thoroughly enjoyable victory it was.
Moment of magic... An extraordinary sequence towards the end of the second half in which Preston had approximately 52 chances to score within the space of 15 seconds, but failed to convert any of them. Ryan Allsop - heroic again today - pulled off two blinding saves and at one point the ball skidded from one post to another, but somehow stayed out of the net. So, yes, Orient rode their luck at times but God knows we're due some. The last time good fortune smiled on Brisbane Road was back in 1923 when clumping wing-half Tommy "Dickers" Dixon inadvertently scored off his backside while bending over to throw up the 17 pints of milk stout he'd consumed that morning.
Preston's Jack King attempts a bicycle kick
Moment of madness... The moment in the first half when Preston's gargantuan midfielder Jack King tried - and spectacularly failed - to execute an audacious Ibrahimovic-esque bicycle kick in the Orient penalty area. It was like watching a slowly dying beached whale attempt a somersault.
Knight in shining armour... A fine team performance today, but let's take the chance to herald the renaissance of Ben Chorley. Last season, if you recall, the central defender focused most of his attention on plotting to oust Leon McSweeney from the club for heinous crimes such as "sneezing a little too often" and "sometimes blinking a bit much". This campaign he's concentrating on what he does best: pulling his shorts up to his midriff and battering the hell out of opposition strikers. Long may it continue.
Pantomime horse... No bad performances from anyone in an Orient shirt, so let's give the award to Graham Westley. The Preston manager is apparently so convinced that match officials are 'prejudiced' against his psychopathic teams that today instead of substituting one of his own players he replaced referee Andy Davies with the fourth official near the start of the second half.
Russell Slade
In the dug out... It's difficult to know what to make of Russell Slade's ability to take Orient down to new levels of abomination and then - just when it looks like his number might be up - turn it around with five wins in a row. But it looks like the manager has finally figured out what his best team is and - incredibly - that team contains David Mooney and Lloyd James (both excellent today). Is it luck? Is it judgement? Is he an evil genius planning to take over the world? No one knows. Probably least of all Russell himself.
Meanwhile on Twitter... "Can't wait to get my haircut at the end of the week" tweeted injured goalkeeper Lee Butcher on Tuesday, suggesting that he's struggling to find pleasure during his spell on the sidelines. "It's always nice to get home from a long drive" he reported on Thursday after presumably doing a few circuits of the M25 for kicks. Things went from bad to worse on Friday: "What a mistake that was thinking I should try something new at Starbucks. Eggnog not good." Don't worry, though, Os' fans - Butch has apparently invited Michael Symes over on Sunday for a couple of hours watching paint dry.
Statto corner... The last time Orient kept a clean sheet at home was in a game against Tranmere Rovers in 2010. Some of Jimmy Smith's stale aftershave had rubbed off on the goalpost, causing the visiting strikers to steer well clear, much as the girls of Faces nightclub, Gants Hill, would avoid the midfielder later that same evening.
A game in which... Russell Slade's starting line up didn't just throw caution to the wind, it recklessly cast it into the eye of a hurricane. Three wingers. Yep, three wingers - count 'em: Cook, Cox, Obudajo - took to the field and helped Orient create a bit of bustle in the first half, to the point that we actually had a single shot on target. In the context of the last six months, this is something to be celebrated.
Unfortunately by the second half the manager had reverted to type, deploying what looked like a narrow 4-1-1-1-1-1 formation located entirely in our own penalty area, inviting Crawley to repeatedly attack until eventually - and inevitably - they scored.
Moment of magic... One sumptuous run from Moses Obudajo in the first half caused a momentary stir among the Orient fans, but only in the same sense as someone forced to endure all 28 Jennifer Lopez films back to back may get a mild kick when Bob Hoskins briefly turns up in Maid In Manhattan.
Moment of madness... The point in the second half when keeper Ryan Allsop - who'd played reasonably well until then - mistimed his run to the edge of the box to allow Nicky Ajose a shot at an open goal (which he somehow missed). Now, I'm sure there must be more to coach Kevin Dearden's job than collecting the cones at the end of training and eating jam doughnuts, but of the 38 goalkeepers who have turned out for Orient in the last season or two, he appears to have actually made 37 of them worse.
Knight in shining armour... Ben Chorley did a fine job of keeping ex-O Gary Alexander quiet - if only he could silence him on Twitter - throughout the match. Indeed, the former Tranmere man reminded fans that when he's not scouring the pitch looking to scapegoat someone for stealing a squeeze from his shampoo bottle he's actually a pretty solid defender.
Pantomime horse... Unequivocally the manager himself. God only knows what Russell says to his teams at half-time - I'm guessing: "Do exactly what you're already doing, lads, only slightly less badly" - but he seems to have an amazing ability to turn an average performance into an abysmal one in the space of 15 minutes.
In the dug out... Like Stone Roses fans who stayed loyal to the band despite the shambles that was sophomore album The Second Coming, Orient supporters were extremely patient with Russell Slade throughout the disaster of 2011/12 because of what the manager achieved the previous season. But now, with three wins and three draws from the last 20 league matches, that patience has worn as thin as the non-financial reasons behind the reunion of Ian, John, Mani and Reni.
Word from the opposition... Crawley fan Warren Lucy of The Goalmouth Scramble blog says: "Scrappy game, draw was probably the right result but you did feel there would be a goal from somewhere. Orient huffed and puffed but didn't really have a lot of chances. Felt we just edged it. Both teams played poorly." Meanwhile on Twitter... "Don't listen to the haterz" tweeted Gary Alexander last time he faced Orient, before spending the next 48 hours meticulously trawling through his mentions column, retweeting anything mildly critical then crying non-stop for two solid weeks. This time round the former Brisbane Road striker displayed a bit more maturity - bringing him up to the mental age of 13 - and diplomatically tweeted "Sometimes it wasn't pretty but 3 points #buzzing play bad and win were take that."
Statto corner... Russell Slade has now employed the phrase "we just need a bit more belief" in post-match interviews over 7000 times, setting a new Guinness world record for delusion.
A game which… ended with Orient celebrating like an unattractive beauty queen who's won a pageant by virtue of the fact that all her fellow contestants had the previous night contracted a flesh-eating virus. Yes, sometimes losers do win, and while Orient’s performance was another familiarly flaccid string of defensive errors and limited attacking prowess, the fact that Wycombe, Chesterfield and Exeter all lost means that the Os will be playing League One football again next season.
Moment of magic… Notts County’s winning goal against Wycombe, consigning the Sofa-heads or whatever they're called to relegation and ensuring that even when Orient lose to Rochdale next week, they’ll still be safe. Forgive me if I’m being churlish, but aside from the 1-0 victory at Oldham back in March, Orient’s own battle against relegation was about as spirited as an after-party at a teetotallers’ convention.
Moment of madness… Ben Chorley’s reaction to Hartlepool’s second goal when, true to form, he started wildly berating everyone around him… until he realised there was actually no one around him and the goal was entirely his own fault. This was preceded by giving an earful to Leon McSweeney after the first goal, probably upset that the Irishman hadn’t offered him a custard cream on the coach or something.
Knight in shining armour… Jamal Campbell-Ryce, whose lively display and superb goal was really the only ray of hope in the shroud of darkness that’s enveloped the Orient team. His performances may suggest to Russell Slade that having a flair player in the team other than Dean Cox can actually be quite handy.
Pantomime horse… Probably Chorley again, though to be fair the whole defence looked as shaky as a trifle in a wind tunnel.
In the dug out… So, Russell Slade has had one wonderful season and one dreadful one. Since we stayed up, the former excuses the latter, but the gaffer is more likely to get an offer from B&Q than he is Barnsley this summer, so hopefully he can focus on rebuilding the Orient squad.
Meanwhile on Twitter… “Best of luck to Notts County, Hudders and Yeovil” tweeted Leon McSweeney before the match, a stirring call to arms for an Orient victory reminiscent of Iain Duncan Smith at his very finest. George Porter, meanwhile, showed how focused and up for the game he was with this: “A jelous woman does more work than the F.B.I.” It was actually left to former O and current star of Bambi On Ice, Loick “Robert” Pires to give some proper advice: “DO NOT RELY OR DEPEND ON OTHERS.”
Though Robin Van Persie apologists may disagree, football runs in seasons, not calendar years.
Nonetheless, 2011 hasn't been a bad year for Os fans, featuring a 13-match unbeaten run, memorable victories over the likes of Sheffield Wednesday and Charlton, an FA Cup odyssey that culminated in a famous draw against Arsenal at Brisbane Road and, of course, the departure of Ryan Jarvis.
Orient's dream FA Cup run had come to end three days before this fixture and as such it wouldn't have been a surprise to see the players exhibiting the sort of humdinging hangover that used to regularly accompany Sean Thornton to training sessions. But not so: the Os put in a professional and convincing performance to ease past Notts County, which so incensed their manager Paul Ince that he was moved to throw his half-time tea over Kevin Dearden and offer him out. Presumably if the Os' goalkeeping coach had taken him up on his offer, Ince would have bottled it at the last minute and sent Gareth Southgate to fight him instead.
Jonathan Tehoue spent so much time digging Orient out of holes last season that he could easily forge a new career as a miner if it wasn't for all the actual hard work involved. After a hand injury had kept him out for the opening part of the season the French striker reminded fans why he's such an important player to have on the bench. With the Os 1-0 up but the game far from over, he trundled up the pitch and nodded in Kevin Lisbie's cross with his very first touch of the game.
Not since the days when Martin Ling would sprint towards his phone whenever a striker over the height of 5ft 6in came on the market has Brisbane Road been witness to any true bursts of speed. Enter George Porter, who showed what he's capable of against non-league Bromley by simply knocking the ball his ahead of himself near the halfway line, then continuing his blistering charge all the way to goal to put Orient 2-0 up.
The fact that Orient - having failed to win a single one of their first 10 league fixtures of the season - were leading Preston 2-1 at half-time was a miracle enough in itself. But when the Lilywhites were awarded a spot kick in the second half fans would have been less surprised to see Lee Butcher part the Red Sea, feed the five thousand and raise Lazarus from the dead than actually save Graham Alexander's penalty. Butch had just let in 14 consecutive spot kicks in a shoot out against Dagenham & Redbridge; Alexander is one of football's most deadly 12-yard bandits. But save it he did, giving Orient the platform to go on and record their first victory of the season.
6. Lis is more!
Leyton Orient 1 Sheffield United 1, 22 October 2011
Orient have a lot of difficulty winning games with 11 players on the pitch, so when it's 10 against 12 they really have very little chance of getting a result. Yes, referee Oliver Langford certainly didn't make things easy after a series of decisions so nonsensical that they could easily have been mistaken for the plot of Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol. All hail Kevin Lisbie, then, who tucked a loose ball away in the sixth minute of added time to snatch a point for the Os and send Brisbane Road into delirium.
By March, Orient were eight points off the play-offs with four games in hand, but were finding it hard to break down a resilient Oldham side. With 10 minutes to go Russell Slade turned to his bench and realised that he'd accidentally left his best player out of the side for the 15th consecutive week. But no matter, for Spurs loanee Paul-Jose M'Poku only needed a few minutes to work his magic, and with a Shazam! and an Abracadabra! unleashed an unstoppable strike with the outside of his boot that gave Orient three invaluable points at the death.
4. Great Scott! Four-star Os overrun Owls
Leyton Orient 4 Sheffield Wednesday 0, 22 January 2011
When one-time Premier League residents Sheffield Wednesday came-a-calling at Brisbane Road in January they faced an Orient side who'd only just hauled themselves out of the relegation zone. Alan Irvine's team talk probably went something like: "Don't exert yourselves too much lads, we've got some important games coming up. Just knock it around a bit and wait for their right back to spoon the ball into his own net." Unfortunately for the Owls they found themselves on the receiving end of an inspired performance by the home side, capped by veteran Scott McGleish's glancing header that sealed a deserved 4-0 victory.
The final day of 2011 and there was something of a party spirit at Brisbane Road. No, the Peter Allen Cafe wasn't offering a free soup of the day (always tomato) with any purchase of a pizza pod, but rather Leyton Orient were giving league leaders Charlton the runaround. The fact that they'd only put away one of their countless chances meant a nervy final few minutes, but when Rhoys Wiggins looked to have equalised for the visitors big brave Ben Chorley was on hand to majestically block the shot on the line, allowing the Os to see in the New Year in style.
Incredibly, with four games left of the 2010/11 season Orient were still in with a shout of reaching the play-offs, though a win against promotion-chasing Peterborough was essential to keep hopes alive. With ten minutes to go the scores were level and Russell Slade must have been ready to throw in the towel. Instead he threw in Ryan Jarvis, which was tantamount to the same thing. But in the sixth minute of injury time the former Norwich man - who'd hardly played a game all season - defied all known laws of the universe to rise majestically above the Peterborough defence to meet Jason Crowe's cross and nod the Os to victory.
Arsene Wenger has an encyclopedic knowledge of French football, but even he was unaware of a fellow countryman by the name of Jonathan Tehoue who once lumbered around the playing fields of Europe like an ailing ocean liner on one last voyage before being put out of commission. Tehoue found his home in east London and, for all his shortcomings over 90 minutes, there is no striker in the country deadlier from the bench - as Arsenal discovered to their cost when he scored in the 90th minute of the FA Cup fifth round tie. A packed Brisbane Road was rocked to its rafters.
A game in which... Orient mistakenly turned up expecting to play a football match, only to discover that in fact they were tasked with taking part in an ancient Hertfordshire ritual in which seven-foot locals kick 11 out-of-towners up in the air for 90 minutes to celebrate the New Year.
Yes, in some ways this was an even more satisfying victory than against Charlton, given that for the majority of the second half Orient had only 10 men to counter the 11 Stevenage players who'd been recently chiselled out of local granite in preparation for the day's game. Battle-hardened in defence, savvy in midfield and staying true to their ball-playing principles, this was a heroic win for the Os. Respect.
Moment of magic... Lee Cook's first goal for Orient. The on-loan winger has been improving every game he plays and today showed his class with a deftly-taken goal.
Moment of madness... You can see what Marc Laird, with his back to goal in the Stevenage penalty area, was thinking as the ball arrowed towards him: "This is my big moment. I've struggled to win over the fans so far, but remember Chris Tate? He was equally unconvincing until an overhead kick at Barnet ignited his Orient career. If only I could do the same. Here goes..." Unfortunately Laird's bicycle effort went straight at the keeper so it'll be a while before he's accorded cult hero status at Brisbane Road. Don't hold your breath though...
King for a day... Forbes, Spring, Dawson, McSweeney and Cook were all superb, but the man of match has to be Scott Cuthbert, whose performance was so full of grit that they could use him to de-ice all the roads in Essex for the entire winter. Not many central defenders get their own terrace chant, as Cuthbert did today, but the former Swindon man has been absolutely immense of late. One particular last-ditch tackle on Chuks Aneke - a Stevenage substitute rather than a new range of Japanese confectionery - was sumptuously timed.
Pantomime horse... Jimmy Smith put in yet another anonymous performance today, having... Oh, what, hang on, he wasn't playing? In which case, the only pantomime horse was man-in-the-middle Darren Sheldrake, who was to refereeing what Russell Brand is to fidelity. This blog details his car crash of a performance superbly.
In the dug out... There was a fair amount of head-scratching among Orient fans when the team was announced - Mooney on his own up front, Laird in the middle - but fair play to big Russ, he got it bang on today. Presumably in preparation for Stevenage's tactics his training sessions involved dropping boulders down on the team from great height while Kevin Nugent tried to tackle them with a combine harvester.
A word on the opposition...When Stevenage came to Brisbane Road they looked tough, physical and well-organised. Today they looked tough, physical and psychopathic. Until, that is, Ben Chorley had the temerity to retaliate, upon which Chris Beardsley went down screaming like an attention-seeking schoolgirl who'd slightly grazed her knee after stumbling during a game of kiss chase. Fair play to Stevenage, though, their brand of football has taken them higher up the league than Orient, but today was surely an off day for them, given that they managed not a single shot on target despite their numerical advantage.
Meanwhile on Twitter... A hilarious and revealing insight into the tomfoolery that goes on in the Orient dressing room, courtesy of George Porter who tweeted "Best banter to date!!!!" and uploaded this picture in which some wags have covered half of Stephen Dawson's name so that his shirt simply reads 'Son'. (In witty reference to his supposed relationship with Russell Slade.) You don't have to be mad to work at Orient... (wait for it)... But it helps!
Lesson for the day... Charlton came to out-football Orient and lost. Stevenage set out to rearrange Orient's internal organs and lost. Is there any way to beat the Os these days? Here's hoping no one figures it out for some time to come...
A game in which... Charlton spent 90 minutes resembling a Mars bar in a Scottish chip shop - that is, they were absolutely battered. Yes, of course the visitors spent almost the entire game with only 10 men, but the spectacle of a numerically-advantaged team failing to break down their opponents is a common one in football, and the Os deserve huge credit for creating chance upon chance upon chance. The fact that they only put away one of them with the help of a huge deflection is something of a concern (though replays show Jimmy Smith's disallowed goal should also have stood), but nothing should take away from what was a rousing end-of-year performance by an inspired Orient.
Moment of magic... The moment towards the end of the match when Ben Chorley blocked Rhoys Wiggins' goalbound shot to preserve Orient's lead. The fact that the Os had failed to get a second goal meant a heart-in-mouth final ten minutes for fans, and Charlton had a number of chance to snatch what would have been an unjust draw. But the backline held firm to record a memorable victory.
Moment of madness... Though David Mooney put in a hard-working shift and helped create a number of chances, when his big moment came in the second half - clean through on goal with only the keeper to beat - he failed to even hit the target. Not so much a rabbit in the headlights, more a nervously-disposed hamster under the full glare of the world's most powerful laser beam.
King for a day... Tough one this. Butcher, McSweeney, Cuthbert, Lisbie, Forbes and Dawson all put in towering performances... even Jimmy Smith managed to temporarily put aside thoughts of which pair of sunglasses he was going to wear to Nu Bar, Loughton, later that evening to put in a shift fizzing with energy. But if one player stood out above everyone it was former Charlton man Matthew Spring who, with the extra space afforded to him in midfield, showed what a class act he is.
Pantomime horse... No bad performances from any Os' players on the pitch, but there was a chilling reminder of darker times at Brisbane Road in the form of Paul Terry, sitting in the gallery like the ghost of Orient past, come back to haunt the unsuspecting WAGs also occupying the VIP seats.
In the dug out... Big Russ must have felt like all his Christmases had come at once to be able to name Dean Cox, Jonathan Tehoue, George Porter and Jamie Cureton on his bench. Though, of course, there's always one stale, mouldy mince pie that no one wants left over at the end of any festive season - ours is called Marc Laird.
A word on the opposition... "Refs ad a panic up for me" tweeted red-carded Charlton goalkeeper Ben Hamer as he watched his teammates try to cope for 84 minutes with only 10 men. Presumably that means he didn't agree with the admittedly marginal decision. No word from him on Jimmy Smith's incorrectly disallowed goal or the penalty that should have been awarded for the foul on Kevin Lisbie, mind. Still, Charlton are a class side and will no doubt be promoted, making Orient's performance - even against 10 men - even more impressive.
Meanwhile on Twitter... Worrying times for Jimmy Smith this week as his account was presumably hacked into by a mischief maker who swapped his profile pic for a still from Wham's Club Tropicana video from 1983. "is tht ment to be banter?" tweeted the irate ladies man when it was pointed out to him.
Lesson for the day... It's easier to win when we've got more players than the other team. To this end Slade needs to concoct a plan to field 12 men against Stevenage. Dean Cox could certainly play the entire game beneath the referee's eyeline, for example, and Jimmy Smith has previously gone for entire 90-minute stretches on the pitch without a single person in the stadium noticing he was there. Should be simple - bring on 2012!
At the conclusion of most seasons at Leyton Orient it's difficult to think of one player who's excelled over the campaign. Not this time, which is why I've selected - in reverse order - the top ten players of 2010/11...
10. Andrew Whing
When it comes to decent right-backs, Leyton Orient's heritage is about as distinguished as Jodie Marsh's wardrobe. Enter Andrew Whing, dead ringer for EastEnders' Max Branning and owner of a chin so big it's got it's own postcode. Yes, rival right-back Elliot Omozusi may be slightly more comfortable on the ball - not least when he's plucking it out of the net after his customary once-a-game howler - but Whing provided the grit this season, regularly clattering into unsuspecting left-wingers and driving forward like a steroid-pumped gingerbread man. More on Andrew Whing >
9. Paul-Jose M'Poku Every now and again at Brisbane Road a player comes along with such dazzling skills that resident managers are left with no choice but to inexplicably leave them on the bench every game. Such was the plight of under-19 Belgian international and Spurs loanee Paul-Jose M'Poku. Hartlepool United's defenders are still in therapy trying to come to terms with the outright humiliation they were subjected to on the young winger's home debut, and M'Poku continued to provide flashes of inspiration in the 15 minutes he was allowed on the pitch each match. Essentially, stuff happened when M'Poku played. Just think what may have been if he'd been in the starting line-up... More on Paul-Jose M'Poku >
8. Stephen Dawson
Every team needs an engine and this season Orient's was Stephen Dawson. The diminutive Irishman was the master of tirelessly motoring around the pitch, stopping only to pick up needless yellow cards and to throw himself to the ground in the penalty area as if scythed down by a poltergeist. Dawson excelled in the home leg against Arsenal, where the Premier League side subjected him to a particularly cruel 90 minutes of piggy-in-the-middle - though they rarely broke through his expertly-marshalled ranks. More on Stephen Dawson >
7. Ben Chorley
Every lower league club needs a Ben Chorley, an uncompromising central defender who pulls his shorts up to somewhere beneath his chest and who's not afraid to stick his face into the path of a flying boot. But our Ben Chorley is so much more than a jumped-up hard man, with his positional sense and reading of the game ensuring Orient are rarely caught out at the back. Once per match he embarks on a lung-busting run upfield, where he is invariably dispossessed just outside the opposition box and has to run all the way back again. This season Chorley also turned out to be Orient's most reliable penalty taker since Matt Lockwood. More on Ben Chorley >
6. Scott McGleish You might think that after 20 years of chasing hopeful punts upfield for the likes of Barnet, Northampton and Cambridge United, Scott McGleish's legs might have had a quiet word in his ear and suggested that perhaps he might like to open a pub or something. Not so, for this season the veteran striker continued to cause nuisance to opposition defences like a late thirtysomething who keeps turning up at student parties and insisting on playing REM on the stereo. A true pro, McGleish's 17 goals were just reward for a fine season's work. More on Scott McGleish >
5. Alex Revell
Alex Revell is the mythical big striker Martin Ling used to have wild, salivating dreams about. With a chiselled jaw and ice-white teeth he could land a bit part in a daytime American soap if the football thing doesn't work out, although there's no chance of that in the near future because Revell was a revelation this season. Sixteen goals isn't to be sneered at, but over and above that his unsettling presence, commitment and unselfish attitude was a major factor in Orient's success. More on Alex Revell >
4. Jimmy Smith
What happened to Jimmy Smith this season? Once a player so bland you could have covered him in Tabasco sauce and he'd still have had absolutely no bite, he somehow transformed himself into a midfield goal-machine and one of the driving forces behind Orient's push up the table. Post-Christmas, whenever Orient created a chance it seemed to fall to Smith, and the former Chelsea man rarely missed them. More on Jimmy Smith >
3. Charlie Daniels
When Charlie Daniels first arrived at Orient on loan in the 2007/08 season he showed a fair degree of promise, and if it wasn't for the fact he could neither defend or attack he could have been quite some player. Well, now Daniels is that player: reliable in defence and a real threat thundering down the left wing, with 15 assists over the season to prove it. This campaign Daniels added the ability to cut inside to his repertoire, a tactic that would have been highly damaging to oppositions if it wasn't for the fact his right foot is about as useful as an inflatable dartboard. More on Charlie Daniels >
2. Jamie Jones
It's been a real pleasure this season to have a goalkeeper who is actually able to kick the ball properly, who doesn't flap at crosses, who isn't susceptible to low shots to his right, who commands his area and who doesn't throw the ball out directly to opposition strikers in key games... Oh, ok, strike the last point, but Jones' skill between the sticks has been one of the major reasons behind Orient's success this campaign, routinely digging the defence out of six-foot deep holes with his lightening reactions and breathtaking agility. More on Jamie Jones >
1. Dean Cox My player of the season for 2010/11, one who boasts the ability to square up to any hulking lower league hard man and fearlessly look him straight in the knee. Yep, Tiny packs a whole lot of attitude into the body of a medium-sized schoolgirl and adds a touch of genuine class to the Orient team as well as being the creative inspiration for much of their attacking play. Indeed, his delivery is so good the scouts watching him this season were from Royal Mail, DHL and the maternity unit at Homerton Hospital. You can't argue with 12 goals and 22 assists over the course of a season - although Cox himself would probably try, straight after he'd started a fight in an empty room. More on Dean Cox >
A game in which... Orient proved that on current form they're a match for any team in the land, except Arsenal. Let's not forget that Gus Poyet has taken time out from impersonating Cornelius in Planet Of The Apes to fashion a pretty impressive Brighton side that beat Orient 5-0 exactly a month ago and are currently atop League One. So a gutsy point is no disgrace, especially when you could have forgiven the Os players for suffering a post-FA Cup hangover. (Though now Sean Thornton has moved on there's probably less chance of the team going on a three-day bender after each victory.)
Moment to savour... The South Stand erupting in a rousing rendition of 'We've got Tiny Cox'. I admire your honesty, lads, but too much information, thanks.
Head in hands moment... There are many things to admire about Ben Chorley but his dribbling ability isn't one of them, as he demonstrated when he attempted to dink past the entire Brighton midfield in the first half, almost gifting the opposition a goal. Still, it was the only blight on an otherwise towering performance.
King for a day... Whenever something was happening on the pitch, you could be sure that Stephen Dawson was in the thick of it. The all-action Irishman could even have got a late penalty if it wasn't for the fact that he blatantly dived. Either that or he was hauled down by a lurking poltergeist.
Boo boy... It was an all-round impressive display from everyone in a red shirt, but Paul-Jose M'Poku's cameo was much like Jennifer Aniston's Madame Tussauds waxwork - that is, a pale imitation of its usual self.
In the dug out... You can't argue with Orient's current form and it seems Big Russ got it spot on again. Giving Adam Chambers a brief run out at the start of the game was a masterstroke, allowing Stephen Dawson an extra two minutes of recovery time from his weekend injury before coming on to the pitch refreshed and ready for action.
What would Martin Ling have done? Taken the opportunity of the first game after the closure of the transfer window to blood his new signing, Julian Joachim. "I've said all along that I'd sign a big striker," he'd say defiantly, "and Julian comes with a big heart, a big desire to win and a big wage packet. That he's only 5ft 6in is beside the point."
Going down? Certainly not. Although mathematically Orient are still in a relegation battle, one defeat in the last 16 games tells a different story. Arsenal, no doubt, are trembling...
A game in which... we saw some amazing moves, incredible agility, impressive co-ordination and effective use of individual assets. Admittedly all of this came during the pre-match display by the Random Girls From Faces Nightclub Gants Hill dance troupe. Once that was over Brisbane Road was subjected, once again, to a pretty dire first half in which Orient failed to show much threat and frequently lost the ball in the middle of the pitch. What appeared to be a highly dubious penalty sparked a second-half rally and a bit of purpose and inventiveness about the Os going forward. Great to get three points, lads, but any chance you could play properly for more than half the game at some point in the season?
Moment to savour... It's back to those pre-match dancing girls again, and the groundsman's inspired to decision to turn on the sprinklers just as they began their routine. A wet T-shirt competiton is certainly a novel way to encourage fans to return - although Stephen Dawson's delightful flick that led to Dean Cox's goal was also pretty sexy.
Head in hands moment... Seeing Ben Chorley elect himself to take Orient's penalty in Scott McGleish's absence. Having the luxury of Matt Lockwood taking spot-kicks for so long means Brisbane Road is used to seeing penalties scored. But, fair play to him, Chorley didn't opt for the thunderbolt, but struck the ball firmly and cleanly into the corner of the net.
King for a day... While none of the Orient players should be troubling the League One Team of the Week selectors, Charlie Daniels was solid in defence and provided much of what attacking threat there was in the second half. He's having a very consistent season and is a much improved player from the one who first arrived at Brisbane Road.
Boo boy... Ryan Jarvis is a player firmly in the Brisbane Road tradition of hard-working though non-scoring strikers. Today he didn't really do the hard-working bit, making his time on the pitch as totally fruitless as an orchard in Antarctica.
In the dug out... Presumably Adam Chambers wasn't 100 per cent fit, otherwise it was a highly dubious decision by Russell Slade to leave him on the bench in favour of Jimmy Smith, a footballer so bland it looks like someone's simply thrown a huge lump of tofu in the middle of the pitch. Still, kudos to Russ for changing the system for the second half to position Dean Cox behind the front two, which led to the second goal. Incidentally, West Standers will have noticed both Cox and Ryan Jarvis giving a fair degree of foul-mouthed back chat to Slade in the first half.
What would Martin Ling have done? Praised his defence for a solid second-half display and go on to claim that the pressure for places is what's producing quality performances. "Clayton Fortune, Joe Dolan and Alan White are chomping at the bit to get on the pitch," he'd say, defiantly.
Going down? Well, since Rochdale are a perennial League Two side who have somehow managed to claw their way up to the dizzy heights of League One, this was good practice for Orient if they do drop a division. Seven points from the last three games suggests things are on the right track, the first half performance suggests fans might want to check the driving routes to Aldershot, Morecombe and Accrington - just in case.
A game in which... Orient abandoned their previously unsuccessful tactic of playing reasonably well and then losing in favour of playing absolutely abysmally and winning. The first 60 minutes were woeful, a footballing spectacle only marginally preferable to trying to trim your own toenails with a chainsaw. The last 30 minutes were better, thanks solely to the introduction of on-loan midfielder Paul-Jose M'poku. The Belgian U19 international reminded his forgetful Orient teammates that passing, dribbling, running and shooting are often useful weapons to deploy when trying to win a game of football.
Moment to savour... Hartlepool, it should be noted, were equally as dire as Orient, but did have one notable attempt at goal in the second half - a header which reserve goalkeeper Lee Butcher acrobatically turned over the bar, indicating he could prove to be a more than able back up to Jamie Jones.
Head in hands moment... Ben Chorley's lung-busting 70-yard run towards the end of the game, which took him from deep in the Orient half into Hartlepool's penalty area. Is he going to blast it into the net? Is he going to cleverly lay it off for Scott McGleish to score? Oh, he's passed it straight to the opposition and has to run all the way back again... Shame.
King for a day... Only one candidate really: Paul-Jose M'poku. Introduced with half an hour to go, he gave the Os some real impetus going forward, continually beating men and causing trouble around the edge of the box. Presumably he'd been watching the game very closely from the bench, because he opted to shoot from every free kick rather than pass to a fellow red shirt, no matter how far away from goal he was. Clever.
Boo boy... Dean Cox, who gave an outright JJ Melligan of a performance. In the first 15 minutes he bizarrely opted to deftly chip the ball back into this own penalty area into the path of an onrushing Hartlepool player, and it went downhill from there. Even his trademark squaring up to an opposition player seemed half-hearted this week.
In the dug out... Let's give Big Russ the benefit of the doubt and assume that, despite the loss of Stephen Dawson to injury, he left M'poku on the bench for match-fitness rather than tactical reasons. Still, there was a fair degree of heckling from the West Stand over his reluctance to make any substitutions until the final half an hour, and the manager's apparently unending in faith in his first-choice eleven despite Orient's league position is a bit dubious. And what's James Walker done to upset him? Pissed in his cap?
What would Martin Ling have done? Claimed in the post-match press conference that Paul-Jose Mpoku's performance was one of genius, then gone on to leave him on the bench for the next match in favour of JJ Melligan. "JJ's been really committed in training this week and he deserves his chance," he'd say, defiantly.
Going down? Well, we're out of the relegation zone, but it's going to take a lot more than a 1-0 win over a hopeless Hartlepool side to salvage something from this season. Still, keep the teenage Spurs loanees coming in and we might just stand a chance of staying up.
