13 December 2014

Leyton Orient 1 Peterborough United 2, 13/12/14

A game in which... Orient's fourth new era of the season began much like the other three: with a whimper rather than a slightly louder whimper. Once again the team fell meekly to defeat against an average side, and it's clear that confidence is at rock bottom.

But let's not get on the players' backs: it really does seem like they are trying ("Yes, very trying!" Lolz) and they actually looked pretty shellshocked at the final whistle. The trouble was that they also played like they were shellshocked for the preceding 90 minutes.

Jump off your seat moment... The goalmouth scramble in the sixth minute of added time during which seven separate Orient players attempted to score into an open net from two inches, and yet each failed to do so. To be honest, luck isn't on our side at the moment – on another day, for example, one of the two shots we had on target in the entire game might have fluked a deflection and gone in.

Give that man a medal... Given a rare start in the even rarer position of lone striker, Shaun Batt deserved his well-taken goal and acquitted himself pretty well. And by that I mean he didn't fall over as much as usual. Lowry, Vincelot and Cox also tried their hearts out. Even Jobi McAnuff didn't play badly. Instead he opted not to play at all.

Adam Legzdins
Taxi for... Have you ever found yourself wondering if Adam Legzdins would be a better keeper if he shaved off his beard? No, me neither, but we were nonetheless given the chance to find out today when the freshly-shorn hipster took to the pitch. And the good news was that Legzdins didn't make his one customary blunder. The bad news was that instead he made two blunders, fumbling twice in succession in the first half. Probably should have done better with their second goal too, no?

"Fuck the technical shit"... Or, as Fabio Liverani would put it: "Cazzo la merda tecnica". God only knows what the new Italian-speaking gaffer was saying when instructing Romain Vincelot on the touchline, but the outcome was that the midfielder was last seen in Leyton Asda trying to buy truffle oil. But let's give Liverani time before we write him off (or Mr Becchetti fires him). After all, if he's going to insist upon playing Scott Cuthbert up front for the final 15 minutes of each game then at least we're going to be in for some fun in League Two.

Meanwhile on YouTube... Dancing girls! Drum and bass! Chiselled-jawed Azzurri! Yes, it can only be another trailer for the Leyton Orient reality show, currently taking Italy by storm (in a teacup). Sit back and enjoy watching 22 Italians playing in an empty Brisbane Road while remembering it was only seven months ago that we were beating Peterborough on the way to the play-off final. How times change...


07 December 2014

Johnstone's Paint Trophy: Gillingham 1 Leyton Orient 0, 7/12/14

A game which... served as a telling – if rather depressing – counterpoint to the 5-1 victory that Orient enjoyed over Gillingham just eight months ago, when we ran them ragged and scored this incredible team goal. But we've plummeted such depths since then it's a surprise the team don't run out wearing deep-sea diving suits.

In fact, that wouldn't have made them any less mobile, because to be less mobile than today's performance would be impossible. I mean, yes, we did knock the ball around a bit in the first two-thirds of the pitch and fashion a couple of half-chances, but it was all pretty uninspiring. Chuck in the inevitable concession from a set piece and Orient's season is now swimming with the fishes.

Jump off your seat moment... There were no jump off your seat moments. But I did slightly raise one eyebrow in anticipation when substitute Shaun Batt crossed into the path of Bradley Pritchard who appeared to only have to breath on the ball to put it into the open net. Instead he chose to collapse in a heap on the ground so I could happily return my eyebrow to its default Orient 2014/15 setting of weary resignation.

Give that man a medal... Well done Gary Sawyer who was flawless in defence and provided a hint of attacking impetus. Maybe he could play left back, Dossena left midfield and Cox right midfield? God knows we have to try something different. Maybe he could play in goal and Legzdins up front? Maybe Mooney could play in central defence? Maybe Jobi McAnuff could play at all?

Taxi for... Gianvito Plasmati. Now, if the giant Italian is standing still – I say "if", obviously I mean "when" – then he is perfectly adapt at trapping the ball and then laying it off for someone else to cock up. Other than that he appears to have very little other use on a football pitch. Indeed, despite his height he rarely even wins headers, which means he's the worst jumper since this little number sported by Lloyd James.

"Fuck the technical shit..." "To score obviously makes a difference in this sport," said Mauro Milanese after the game, suggesting he really is almost at the point where he actually knows what he's doing. Five straight away defeats and just two victories (against one side bottom of League One and one side in League Two) in his eight games in charge doesn't bode particularly well for the future though.

Meanwhile on Linked In... Let's step away from the gloom of Orient for a moment to stalk today's referee Trevor Kettle on Linked In.

The Business Development Executive and worst referee in the whole of human history claims that he "thrives of delivering quality output". If you say so Trevor. "My strengths are my inter-personnel" he adds, somehow managing to break at least 14 different rules of grammar in one five-word phrase and possibly contradicting his later assertion that he has "excellent communication skills".

Still, he also says he's good at "simplifying complex matters and providing clear guidance." Want to be manager of Orient pal?